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letmebeanon Jul 2019
Confused and depressed
Not knowing what comes to life next
A promise that started so beautifully
He changed, and now, is he really ending it this slowly?

In the dark, while I savor the pain
I longed to be happy and then you came.
At a brisk, I let you in
Consumed my mind and invaded my soul.

Your eyes, I couldn’t help but stare
Your voice, that became music to my ear            
I wish the time was longer – that’s a shame
Why did I meet you at such a wrong fate?

How can I tell him about you?
You belong to someone else while I do too.
Albeit amiss, the times with you felt nothing but right;
Never was I this proud of the wrong, never in my life.

Lost with bewilderment, who does my heart choose?
HIM, the person that I have learned to love?
Or YOU, the person that suddenly caught my heart?
I’m guilty of even having to question myself that.

The negative thoughts, the guilt, the constant fear.
It has now started drowning me in.
I realized, this affected him and I wanted to do the right thing.
So, I had to choose him.
I wrote this October 2017.
July 2019 - (the person I chose left me) - Karma.
letmebeanon Sep 2018
Sometimes, you just want your dreams to be your reality.
Why is everything about life to me right now is so much better when I sleep.
Can I do that forever?
letmebeanon Sep 2018
There is always one person that broke your heart.
But you don't want to forget.
Cos their thought is still the ones that makes your heart smile.
Sometimes you just need to think that it's just how life works.
Your time is just up with that person and all you gotta do is go back to the memories with that person that made you the happiest.

And accept that it's already someone else's turn.
ganun talaga ang buhay. ang tao nagbabago
letmebeanon Sep 2018
Why do I feel empty every time the music plays
Just thinking about where my fate is taking me.
I don’t feel down but I am not happy either.
Having no idea what I want and what I don’t.
This thought is bothering me.
And I’m not sure where is this coming from.
What should I do :'(
Stop listening to music when that's my only friend at the same time.
is this depression?
letmebeanon Mar 2018
I'm back here again.
Writing my thoughts.
Someone's broken into pieces.
there are people who only writes when theyre broken. yea?
  Nov 2017 letmebeanon
Lily X
You had me.


From the very start. And you knew it.

It’s strange; how different you are to me now.

But, how foolish of me to believe a conman’s pitch?

But, how could I not?
It was the best kind of lie; one I wanted to believe.

My heart stopped beating each time I looked at you.
How could I overlook my own cardiac arrests?
Your tongue was so smooth, I didn’t notice it was forked.
Your words sounded so good, I didn’t realise they could be false.
I fell so hard, that I didn’t even think that I could hit the ground.

But, of course, I hit the cold concrete.
In fact, I crash every time I remember your face.

Because sometimes the cruelest of liars are the easiest to believe.
  Oct 2017 letmebeanon
Jaden Rivera
Has there ever been a person that you’ve met, loved, and lost all in just a couple of hours?
It may sound weird,  but it happens.

He spoke the first word
I spoke the last.

His eyes cut through to the center of my soul. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he knew that what I wanted was for him to talk to me.
Like he knew before I did.

It really is strange to think about, how I don’t know where he is, nor do I have proof that he exists.
He does.
He exists to me like the inevitability of death.
Just as dark, just as strange.

I often think about him, thinking about me.
I really don’t know though, if I ever cross his mind.
I guess that is why it is so strange to me, that we see the same moon, live similar lives, but we may never see each other again.

He spoke the first word
I spoke the last.


And to think, I could’ve changed that.
I could’ve I could’ve asked him for some way to continue our conversations.
To allow us to grow closer.

But I didn’t.

I spoke the last word.

I watched him leave the room.

I watched him exit my life.

I wonder how my life would’ve changed,
If he uttered the first word,
And the last had yet to be spoken.
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