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the ringin g in          my              he ad       doe snt stop
it                   is                              so            lou d
a const a nt              dea d           s i lent  soun d
              eee e e e e e e e e  e  e    e            e          e           e             e                            
                          e e                      e ee                                     e e

         b                          w w aa                 a         a               a       a        
   a                        a                          ­ a    a                         a  
                                         w         a  a  
                   a            a                    a        a        a            ­  a               a  b      b


i   fe el               w eightl es s
im no t            m y se lf                                                          
p l ease          le ave         m e                                alo ne

  i wa n t                 t o                       be                       f ree                                  
  i t                hurt s                                      so mu ch
                             

i ca nt                                   h ear                    
i      am n ot                                         m e                  
i dont wa nt to            c ry
a     ny                                               mor e
                 i    m    sor ry

i h ad to  te ll the m
.


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y                
                                        o      ­        
   u

                                 
     s      
                ­                                            h
                                o
                                                                ­                     u
                                     l
     d                                  
   n
                                                    t
         ­               
      h
                                                  a
                   v  
                                                             ­                                     e
                                                               ­     s
                  a
                                      ­            i
    d
  
                               m
y
                                                               ­                                             n
                  ­                                                  a
m      
     ­                             e
...
 Jan 2018 starchild
Jae Elle
all ******* in a
gaze of satin
my god, does he know
what's happened?
& the tide is
rushing in

am I the sea or
the one who
waits beside it?

hell and heaven both
know that I'd
rather be a siren
dancing with graves
& secondhand glances
as I sing him toward
my waves


perhaps I was not meant
to save


so to hell with the sea
it's his fire that
I crave
I drink pink grapefruit flavored drinks
my face smells like the citrus
when I lose things and people
I change my hair
it helps me cope with the idea that I can never finish a stick of lip balm and most of the people I've known only yield disappointment
no one is at fault here
but the blame is usually pushed into my intestines
and I spend five days throwing up
I used to be afraid that I would never see the entire world
now I'm afraid I'll never spend enough time in a place I can call home
every morning the smell of grapefruit grows stronger
this is a poem about grapefruits
 Jan 2018 starchild
John Alex
Lilac, purple, or shades of mauve
There's no defeating the color of the sky
The hue
Of loyalty
Of expansiveness
Of trust
I lay my eyes
On the ripples of the ocean
On the color of the sea
On the backdrop of clouds

Triumphs the anger of red
Gushes out green
Yells at yellow
And black gets dim
The penultimate tint
The top tincture
With an undertone of sad
And an overtone of hope
It's the color
The hue
It blooms and pops inside my mind
When I think of you

It's the color
The hue
It's there
When I go diving
When I go running at the morning
Whenever I awake and look at the windows
Sometimes the windowsill
Makes perfect frame
For the beauty and grace that that color brings
Like a mountain range cuddled up
To look like waves
Like the clouds running rampant
Whenever the wind decides to rush

And I get mad
Because somehow, people link it
To being sad
It is not
It does not bring sorrow
It brings joy
It does not bring melancholy
It brings beatitude
It brings beauty
Like your eyes do
Like your smile does
And like your heart did to mine

How can a color
Be so potent
So mighty
That it has the ability
To sway the human mind
To pinch the human heart
To lift the human soul

How can a color
A hue
Do all these things?

I do not know
But that's alright
Because sometimes wonders
And things alike
Cannot simply be explained
Just like how magic tricks work;
Known by many
Understood by few

And love,
I want to be the only one
That feels this way about blue
 Jan 2018 starchild
The Queen
The reason I'm in your life is, trying to teach you what love is. Because you never felt the real love before. If you really do, you never hurt me that bad.
There are a million ways to die.
But only love can **** you and keep you alive, long enough for your insides to wither away slowly and then die.
When I was a little girl..
I always believed that monsters slept underneath my bed.
As I've grown, I realized they were never sleeping under my bed.
They were actually sleeping in my head.
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