Tonight I cried.
I cried for every soft and tender touch
You left me with,  my hands that
Once held yours now tear my hair
I mourn your kiss upon my lips,
My cheek,  my ear;  your head upon my heart
My palms once yours,  now cup my tears-
The smiles and laughs are gone
The silly things and playful
things that we once shared, are gone
And Your smiling face that buried in my hair
When hugs were held,  the jokes you telled
Still whispered in my ear and
I wish that you were here,  and
I only want you here

Paint me a rainbow
Don't morn me in black
For I lived a life
I would not take back

Every step of my adventure
And every moment spent on earth
I'll treasure here in heaven
And remember all their worth

I'll look down on you and smile
As I know I had the best
Don't cry for me no more
For I truely am at rest

So don't mourn me in black
but paint me a rainbow
Don't cry no more tears
But instead let me go

Autumn.
The leaves are turning
brown and gold
Then fall.

Autumn.
It's about leaves and trees
Leaves leave trees
Trees are left. Naked.

But autumn
is more than the story
about 'leaving' and 'being left'.

Autumn
is the story about the trees
that is never worry
of being left by the leaves.

Autumn
is the story about the trees
that is never afraid
of letting go all things,
and being happy afterwards.

Because the trees know
there will always be
the new and better leaves
grow on them in spring.

And being left is actually a way
to a better coming...

-Kanya Puspokusumo-
http://doeniadevi.wordpress.com .

Your like that morning cigarette with your coffee
Not exactly needed but welcomed. Enjoyed. The best part of waking up.
The caffeine hits me as the smoke tears into my lungs
I breathe deeper
You not being here is like one without the other.
Still bearable just not as noteworthy


You to me are comfortable.
Like a pair of shoes that fit your feet just right, as though you are barefoot and every step is floating.

You to me are sunshiny days and long walks around town.
Warm and gentle. Like the way you kiss me after staring for a second to long.

I didn't want the romance or the attachments.
I didn't want the emotions and the heartache after.
Smart enough to know it'd happen
Stupid enough to plunge in
Headfirst. Off the tall diving board that engulfs the smaller ones in shadow's.
sinking to the bottom I gathered my exploding thoughts.
I jotted them down in the notebook that is my mind
It is there that I soften the edges of what I want to say. It is there that I make it tangible for others. It is there were I make it less corse, less bitter, less angry as to not upset you. It is there that I mold what I need to say into something you may be more receptive of. It is there that I silence the fear and ignore the doubt. It's there that I try and take the emotion out of it. But it pours from my words like the heaviest of rain clouds.
The emotion leaks out like the first few drops of a monsoon storm.
Wild and erratic. Completely out of place.
But it's when the onslaught of rain comes that you realize just what you are in for.
Sheets of rain come down impeding on your vision
Like the tears that fell from your eyes, clouding your sight as you rubbed the sadness away
I didn't think it'd hurt this much.