I was barren
A deserted landscape
Full of papercuts from my house of cards
And a tree with no more leaves
I would watch the earth crack
And pick at the places where the ground split
Until I was isolated
I couldn't move
All I could do was think
A task best done when morale is not so low
I was addicted to feeling pain
Pain that I could measure and prescribe myself
I self medicated with insults and inhalants
Mockery and mutalation
Addicted to my meds is what I became
So addicted to sadness
I never wanted it to leave

But here I am
Clean and cultivating
The fruit that
My new land has produced
And now I feel good
Mind and heart content
I can finally love you

you were my whole ******* ocean
but you only loved me in waves

maybe we don't just want to be special, or an exception
we want to be irreplacable
yet- days and weeks and years go by
and we are replaced.

I want nothing from the world for it owes me nothing
I want only to exist
In the simplicity of the vast wilderness
I want my heart
And my soul to be like the wilderness
Free
Untamed
Wild and alive

I want to be alive everywhere and absorb all the beauty and wonder of it all
Embrace
Embody
Reflect
And return it back to its keeper
The flowers
The ocean
The soil
All of it.
I want to become my mother
The earth.
I want the stars to teach me all they know
I want the sun to wake me
and tell me when I should rest
I want the forest roots to guide me
The birds to sing me the songs
of the world
I want to feel spring water against my skin
I want to feel the unadulterated dirt of the earth against my feet
I want nature to heal me
Detoxify me from mans creations
the material world
I want the wind to tell me her secrets and bring me all of her wisdom
I want all of the universes' intangibilities.
I want to scream.
I want to be anonymous
I want not to be tainted by the small realm that confines me
I want never to forget the scale of the universe and
Remember that I too am a star
A toxic
Intangible
Ball of stardust
A wonder of creation
Floating in a inexhaustible,
eternal sea

Your hands
    cleaner
than my
sunday
shirt
and
I've collected
quite a bit
of dirt

I'm dating depression
He knocks on my door
Although he smiles for miles
I knows he hides more

Depression just loves me
He's been other places
He takes other forms
Same guy, but new faces

He sneaks up on me
With surprise in his eyes
Claiming he changed who he was
But I know he lies

People change too
Like the leaves in the fall
And as the foliage fades
My lover does call

"Love me like only you do"
"Need me because I need you"
"Protect me from what I can't help"
**"Save me, but from myself"

Let me show you how important you are;
                                                            ­                                                     *Kiss me.