i don’t know who i’m trying to be
but i refuse to be anything less than extraordinary

it can be so incredibly amazing
yet so incredibly isolating
to realize you’re one of a kind
and no one will understand your mind

how come i want to do so many things
yet i can’t even bring myself to get out of bed
how come i have so many thoughts
yet none of them leave my head
how come i’m the only version of myself
yet there’s always someone i’d rather be
why can’t i be enough for me

i’ve realized why you still leave me so speechless
it’s because my vocabulary has never found anything so deserving of such amazing words

i’m tired of telling people to have a good day
i just want to help them have a good day

sometimes it’s too hard to think, maybe that’s why people drink

i envy those who do not feel so hard
or think too deeply
because **** this **** is exhausting
trying to find the perfect words
or trying to find the reason for everything