Thinking you’re the man and the plug like you’re kool.
Until your kids and family are getting followed home from work and school.

Better get up on your night job.

Some will press you and not even want your work.
Just want to see if you're about it.
From the dirt.

They're putting my brothers on a shirt.

Not even in a casket or a Hearse.
They’re getting cremated, not even given back to the earth.

It's making me question my worth.
So I medicate.
When I should meditate.
How much for our souls?
That was even the intro for my mixtape.
And lately I've been falling out with friends so it’s hard to take.
Some can but most can’t relate.
These days there’s no need for a debate.

Experiencing and talking from this perspective couldn’t even make me whole anymore.
But, I’m still around.
I smile, learning to love what’s mine.
I guess it’s true what they say.
I now know that love is blind.

But never mind that.
We're back on that player ****.
Heart jaded.
Hanging wit the homies and getting hell of faded.
Intoxicated love.

I drove around the block twice, just to find somewhere park.
I stumbled, trying rush and get ahead of my already lucky start.
Acting dumbfounded but yet I’m smart.
I'm learning to be top shelf, and put myself on the chart.

However now,  I no longer care.
Stay in the house, and grow out my hair.
And truth be told all along, I was fully aware.

Trying to become the best poet.
However, my self esteem doesn’t show it.
While I took this time to write a new poem so no one, not even myself could quote it.

So now I read with my head down.
But after this, again I will lift it.
I had a conversation with fans, and they told me I was gifted.
Now look at all this weight that I done lifted.

I sat and use to pray hoping that the stars aligned.
My love wasn’t a sure thing, but now I’m living right.
When I needed it, no one couldn’t give me any advice.
But they always had something to say any other time.
Everybody that I met on the way;
Is trying to get in the way.
Use to making big bucks now I’m working minimum wage.
The man downstairs must really love testing my patience.
Someone down there must be in need of some entertainment.
Forgiveness for my sinful ways.
So much hate in heart but I still love, that’s how I was raised.
These days everything I think has me feeling a way.
Still learning and still growing on a day to day
But..

With my grandmother out in Carolina is where I belong.
Was out there in LA not knowing what was going on.
I was doing things so wrong.
And it’s all because I chose a side.
I just couldn’t put my pride aside and confide in me.

Perhaps it wasn’t my time.

Had to get off the internet.
Thugging, Im not the biggest but pose a threat.
Maybe because I'm black or my colors repped.
Where fake **** will get you stretched.
Dealing with so much pain I can't recollect.
Roll me up a blunt of my deep regrets.

trying to focus, I need a check.
Dealing with all the glory and disrespect.
Been betrayed by ****** walking my silhouette.
How far can a Brutus stretch?
Steady learning my worth, others far fetched,
want to use my head just to get a check.
Got trial, I need to rest.
Temptation, money, drugs, and guns made me disconnect.
I still came right back, I had to die a sec.
**** could be worse, learned from the wreck.
All this going back and forth about who's the best.
You do so many shows but where people at?

Success has been over mapped.
A couple of turn in had me overlapped.
But I will make out the cloud;
too deep to rap.

I was the one with the dreams.
I was the one with the schemes.
Battling things on my own, feelings alone but I had a whole team.
I never said anything.
Move in silence, do my own things.
Trying to find my way to millions.
Trying to spread my own wings.

Bad habits for daily routines.
I’m always running from therapy.
Losing my balance while searching for clarity.
Now, they tell me I lack motivation,
I was just anticipating and waiting.
Waiting for timing and something,
I had no clue what it was and somehow I was losing myself.

Reforming my brand, destined and full of success.
Branches but aren’t any leaves.

I needed help.
I wouldn’t accept it, people were turning their back on me.
Act as if it didn’t matter.
My insides were shattered.
I stay to myself and now look what I got.
Use to think I was worthless believe it or not.
Now I really open my notebook and jot.

Praying for Dre because they want him to rot.
Praying for Seb because he wants his spot.
Pray for Amodre, he messed up his shots of going to college, succeeding and winning a lot.
Maleek doesn’t know if he’s human or not.
This clarity came and it got myself closer.
I needed closure from things I was burying deep down inside while destroying myself.

Grow out my hair.
Stack up my wealth.
Practicing loving myself and my health.
Watching for snakes, I’ve been working on stealth.
Playing the hand and the cards that I’m dealt.

Built for success.
Been on the road of becoming goat, I must confess.
Passing the tests that the lord has given before disappearing to catch up on rest.

I said I put a lot of things behind me but,
I lied so..

My life is complicated.
I’m lost in this generation.
I mean..
I hate my state of mind.
I’m lost like a balloon trying to find its way,
And you see..
Today is my birthday.
But I’m trapped in my mind,
I can’t seem to ever have a good time.
I’m not the type that you bring home to mama in my opinion.
I’m damaged goods I must say.
I’m woman crazy.
My body’s lazy.
And that’s no where near it all.
I been in sadness for years just hoping soon you would call.

I wish I had someone that would love me.
And I mean really know and love me.
Like, effortless.
But I’m so blind and messed up from another chick.
And that along with everything else caused such a riff.
Now my ex and everyone around me has the power.
Now I’m guarded and get faded for hours.

But I mean..
Besides crazy, got anger issues,
I’m spoiled and I;
Run from my problems when I’m the only thing that can solve them.
I sat one time all alone but with a full revolver.
My life is out of order.
I lost my faith in some things,
Mainly in pure love.
I’d sell my soul just to have your heart but that ain’t enough.

While I got missed calls from any and everybody.
Don’t wanna listen to anybody.

It’s so many reason why I’m complicated.
I mean..
Or maybe I’m just high again.

That’s really only the other feeling that can help me while I try and fill up this space.
Until I’m sitting in the mirror staring at my own face.
Wiping all my tears on a day to day base.
I got so much sadness and hatred running at everyones’ pace.
This is my last poem before I lock myself all away.
It’s complicated.

Writing and losing feeling.
Of heart breaks and commitments,
A couple catchy songs with my brothers;
It would be nice if you listened.
Or even ever read my poetry.
Behinds those words is a broken me.
I can barely see, what my future holds.
Im no longer chasing hoes, I’m trying to find the yellow brick road.
But lost awareness.

Now I’m a drunk.
Now I’m a pothead.
And all the seeds I planted, they are now dead.


Having mood swings like the weather that’s floating me.
I no longer wanna be.
I swear it’s complicated

Don’t drown yourself pretending to be deep.
It’s too complicated.
And I can’t swim but I rather drown in her sea.
It’s so complicated.
Should I retire and settle down from writing.
It’s too complicated.

The age of 25 I grew fonder of self love.
Neglecting myself had me lost on what was above.
Lack of my peers over years applying pressure.
My mind’s on autopilot, that’s the closest I’ll get to a Tesla.


My self denial and  selfish trials put bolts in me.
All this love,
Is this girl playing a joke on me?

Truly my deepest darkest fear is I lose it all.
Breaking me down where I thought I was all along
I can’t even express with my words, maybe a song
Maybe everything that I needed I had all along.

I got caught up in the streets.
I got greedy.
Started doing wrong and evil.
I love all my ******.
Want to hug my ******, they don’t understand the meaning.
I was living fast, going through the motions;
Never played wide receiver.
I’d go back in time if I could, rewind for good and stop the grieving.
Thinking suicide but I’m strong I know my two favorite people need me.
Plus I got a mom, dad, and two sisters.
I hold my pain like a secret.
I had to realize that the universe was trying to tell me what I needed.
I be alone a lot.
Armani caught me talking to demons.
I lost Gage.
I lost Karon.
I lost Mario and Rod.

I lost myself.
Almost lost my life right before I got locked up.

I had a talk with the reaper.
He’s thinking about killing me next.
I said you’re real for sure.
But I’m already killing myself.

I be talking to God.
But I still did the work of the devil.
Now I’m trying to get my life together.
Everyday now is stormy weather.

I’m not suppose to question God;
Hope you listen God, what’s it take to get healthy?
I walk around with fire, I can’t trust nobody.
Paranoid, it’s sad I can’t help it.

Granddaddy died in the house after school.
After that I took the room.
I was waking up feeling paralyzed drowning in my own tears.

And I’m sorry that I never listened.
But that don’t mean I need hell.
I can’t really talk to my daddy, since he became twelve.
I talk to God daily so I know he hears me, but I don’t never find answers.

I had a circle full of fake friends.
They wasn’t even gang or scammers.
I was trying to feed my family.
But I still wasn’t trying to do better.

You was suppose to be my partner.
Got hooked on drugs and moved jealous.
We was suppose to eat together and have the team and family rocking name brand and better.

I feel my words be to simple.
But they say I’m complex.
I’m just misunderstood.
Need balance and I’m taking the steps.

Im trying to do better.
Trying to stack my cheddar.
I wanted us all to eat together.
Trying to change the weather.
Plain old sweater, use to wear it for whatever.

I’m trying to keep my head up everyday.
Deep down inside I’m going Kanye crazy.
Said I need therapy and people scared of me.
Quiet, but I got a whole lot to say.

I don’t know if it’s me being selfish.
Or habits of being selfless.
My intuition is burning, checking mileage on my wellness.

We all are careless.

I been on the road.
You can check the tire pressure.
I sit back, sip the tea and look how things were measured.

A friend of mine said “just trust me.”

So I’m patient now, don’t rush me.

But still in a dilemma to finish the race in first place.

The shoes are tight, you can check the lace.
Who’s real and who’s fake?
We all need a break.

They’re falling hard.
They break like a vase.
Banking and chase.
Well gone just as far go.

Tired of selling my soul.
I scanned so much like a bar code.

A woman said that I’m playing games so I guess we’re in story mode.

Far as stories go..
People are sharing feelings I’m like what are those.
Smell that **** a mile away without a nose.

I guess you reap what you sow.
I gotta get it and go.
No time to panic and fold.
I put these tithes on the road.
All that glitters ain’t gold.

Stayed loyal.
Stuck to the code.
With timing, only God knows.
From the concrete, what grew was a rose.

Once was a fool.
Depression the state.
My views misshaped.
I only cling’d to a tool, she saw it through my shirt and asked if it’s new.

My heart jaded.
Thoughts segregated.
Fed into greed and the hatred.
Before I knew it, all our love went and faded.
Feeling out dated.
Drunk off of words in California, I created myself a mind state and named it that special place that’s in Georgia.
Or in Houston.
Sprung off of something I loved in spring.
I was in love with some things that my eyes had never seen.
Now concluding pipe dreams.

The pessimistic definitions strictly of my poetry,
You’re forever something that’s controlling me.

No my name’s not Bennett , but I’m really in it.
Never one to just go with the flow,
I’m just trying to win it.

Not wanting my relationship to be a situationship; it’s dangerous.
Can’t even see the monsters that you’ve made of us.

Raising up.
Raising brows.
Cover up my own smile.
Thinking I could fill the void by having me a second child.

My hearts full.
Full of emotion.
Full of neglect.
Full of myself.
Full of my friends and loved ones that are left.

Feeling out of touch, I’m trying to change my life and run it up.
The marathon continues , but I can’t be no runner up.

Dumb it down.
Sound it out.
Passion’s what I’m all about.
Crazy, but I want a happy home before I get a house.
Feeling by myself but it’s like ten people on the couch.

It ***** for me.
But soon I’ll reach my clarity, guess lucky me.

Stuck to me.
Looking up the definition of custody.
My words and my heart’s all I got left, don’t give a **** to me.

I need a hug.
Find comfort in myself but I can’t see the love.

Back and forth with self worth.
Thinking bout my son’s birth.
AMB, this thing will last forever long as I’m on Earth.
Almost had that took away.
I’m suffering like every day.
Mentally I’m in maze, trying to fix these evil ways.

Evil thoughts.
Thought about it all when my last breath was caught.
Almost in a hole for real, my demons had a hold of wheels.

Heal just to rebuild, but I ain’t got the time, I pop a pill.
Things been wrong for so long that I can’t even taste a meal.
Chasing thrills.
Heavy with the consciousness, maybe I am too chill.

Rolling down the steepest hill, premeditate my own will.

I can put words together.

I can put words together.
My actions confusing with words, vendetta.

If this was a war, we lost.
Diffusing a bomb with cost.

Catching it all, but no Randy Moss.
Lately I’m always *******.
Trying to find balance between these worlds is difficult; covered my passions in scars and pain with ridicule.
Lately, they ask what’s got into you.

A cloud in my mind but it’s spiritual.

Diamonds all in my heart are biblical.

Trying to find peace in residuals.

I won’t let them finish me.
The world on my back.
They stepping on cracks and it’s breaking my back, but somehow my heart is attached.

That’s how I perceive a relapse.

I’ve been going through something.
Hiding from myself.
I’ve been going through something.

Feeling strange.
Found and lost my way.
I feel all emotions.

Needed God.
Stretching out my arms.
I feel all the sins.
Needed God.


Kiss me like you miss me.
Hug me like it’s my last days.
**** me like we got superpowers.
Never mind, that all fades.

Second coming.
I went through a lot.
I been up to something.
Mind running.
I want to pray for nothing.
Learn my own buttons.

Must be born again.
That goes different ways everybody.
Must be born again.
I was never trying to be somebody.

Must be born again.
Be your own savior, find the voice.
Must be born again.
I died in January, God’s choice.

Must be born again.
But if you don’t then this for you too.

We must be born again.
Life will turn into an interlude.