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Nov 2019 · 64
What Does It Take
Seb Tha Guru Nov 2019
Spent time just to **** these snakes.
Worked hard just to get no break.
Slept on me and you woke up late.
On the road trying to see these gates.

A ***** might bend won’t break.
How many times can a hero save?
Put on the mask, had to take off capes.
I had to switch flows.

The chosen one.
Who holds the gun.
But on the run.
Who holds a ton.
Who got the sword.
To slice the lust.
To bite the dust.
Controlling time.
What’s on his mind?
Success’s a must.
He feel the rush.
Against the gust.
To save hisself he just
Man a ***** might **** for some.
Steal for some.
Build for some.
Heal for some.

Depending how the wind blow, a ***** might live for some.

On his shoulders man world’s at stake.
Working hard just see these gates.
Nov 2019 · 54
Seb Tha Guru Nov 2019
I guess you reap what you sow.
I gotta get it and go.
No time to panic and fold.
I put these tithes on the road.
All that glitters ain’t gold.

Stayed loyal.
Stuck to the code.
With timing, only God knows.
From the concrete, what grew was a rose.

Once was a fool.
Depression the state.
My views misshaped.
I only cling’d to a tool, she saw it through my shirt and asked if it’s new.

My heart jaded.
Thoughts segregated.
Fed into greed and the hatred.
Before I knew it, all our love went and faded.
Feeling out dated.
Drunk off of words in California, I created myself a mind state and named it that special place that’s in Georgia.
Or in Houston.
Sprung off of something I loved in spring.
I was in love with some things that my eyes had never seen.
Now concluding pipe dreams.

The pessimistic definitions strictly of my poetry,
You’re forever something that’s controlling me.
Nov 2019 · 69
All Night
Seb Tha Guru Nov 2019
pick up, I been calling all night.

I just wanted to go home.

I lack motivation and concentration;
Leave me alone.

Innervating all my words just to keep myself strong.
Jul 2019 · 181
Monday In July
Seb Tha Guru Jul 2019
A poet.

Only God knows this journey I venture.
Do not enter is a sign that I have placed on my heart to keep away the evil that surrounds me.

A vibe called myself.

Chastised from my subconsciously wrong doings.
However, I’m still growing, learning, and evolving.

What’s left or next for Seb?
I can’t even tell you, even though I’ve only emptied out one bag of so many of my thoughts, emotions, and passions.

From dusk to dusk I sit and contemplate.
Medicating along with meditating is no longer my comfort zone.

But somehow,
I’m still forming into my own.
Jul 2019 · 303
Eye Opener
Seb Tha Guru Jul 2019
I got inspired and started writing at the airport.
A mile high.
Like I tried to write a lullaby for you and I.

Do or die?
Til death do us apart.
I’ll let you decide.
Tried to ride the wave, but they tanked and couldn’t catch the tide.

Slicing everybody up some humble pie.

Hold me down through my troubled times.
Or you can be another victim to my stubborn pride.
A Nipsey quote.
Cleared the air but now, I want all the smoke.
It’s one love but still missing substance, are you even woke.

Lacking all the talent, recreate your passion.
People die from what they fake,
and put it in a caption.

Rags to riches in my own fashion.
Avoiding all distractions.
Done overreacting over selfish and childish actions.
Jul 2019 · 138
What It’s Like
Seb Tha Guru Jul 2019
Let me tell you what it’s like,
when you’re trying to balance life.
Trying to keep your sanity but still roll the dice.
Don’t get caught up in the hype.
Finding your way through the dark,
but it’s hard to sleep at night.
On the head is a price.
For net worth and income, some sacrifice.
They fake a smile and play nice.

I can tell you what it’s like, when you’re trying to find a wife.

These days, they aren’t solid.
So you pack up and leave.
They switch sides with an ease.
Leave a man on his knees.
When they killed my bro I didn’t have time to grieve.
I put it all on my sleeve.
Now it’s blessings I receive.
Close your eyes and perceive.
Covered in branches and came from the dirt with a little bit of leaves.
Jun 2019 · 354
Seb Tha Guru Jun 2019
Back in the booth
Ready for truth
This ain’t nothing new
Just something to do.

In the quick sand of life,
got me stuck like glue.

Got me thinking, should’ve turned this to an interlude.

Now I’m back in the booth.
Hope you’re ready for truth.
This really isn’t nothing new
Just something to do.

I love you through everything.
I’m no longer the muse.
Its got my ****** like,
**** what’s gotten into you.
Jun 2019 · 147
For You
Seb Tha Guru Jun 2019
Painfully honest in my poems, why would I lie to you?
I’ve gotten rid of toxic things so I’ll survive for you.
Giving people the cold shoulder, thats how we had to move.
So many times you’ve gave your heart, and they turned their backs to you.

They’ll try to pick your brain apart and say they’ll ride for you.
Sell you everything that you need, they’ll lie to you.
No longer care and want all the smoke I’ll sit outside for you.
I was on my last, I was doing bad but I would provide for you.
I know so people who will take your art and ride on you.
Throwing the shade,
feeling rage, can’t pick a side for you.
They can’t be honest with anything, can’t confide for you.
Throw dirt all on your name the go and go hide from you.

Reminiscing on the days when we were back in school.
Trying to get points not scoring buckets but we loved to hoop.
Me and boys was running throw cars rooms and houses;
we was even taking shoes.
Everybody else wanted to party, we’re trying to make a move.
I seen my first gun at thirteen and we knew how to use it.
Use to look up to some cowards then I start writing music.
I look inside my own eyes and see that I’m tired of something.

Transparent relationship but yet you’re out here cheating.
We can break it down to the right and wrongs, there’s way too many reasons.
These labels hear all of y’alls trash but yet aren’t signing me.
Feel I’ve been tripping for so long but I’m steady trying to find my peace.
Kicking everyone out of my house;
I’m the one who signed this lease.
Until we knew who killed my friends I’ll never have time to grieve.
I’ll treat y’all music like y’all treat women, it don’t mean **** to me.
Showing I can do this without who, ***** who are you to me?
I’ve had so many peoples back yet they were stabbing me.
Just want to see my family smile they’ll soon be proud of me.
I know my dead loved ones are looking down on me
And I’m still waking through the fire, there is no matching me.

Why every time I come around these girls are eyeing me.
Say I’m lacking on emotions but my hearts on my sleeve
No matter what, no giving up, getting back on track to me.
Even long when I’m dead and gone I’ll be a studio athlete.
When I was hurting, they were up, so what’d you have for me?
None of you can keep it a thousand so I had to leave.

Write and record what I’m feeling in my heart, I’m not thinking about a hit.
I ride and do whatever for my dogs like we relate to Vick.
I’m doing everything that I said, I also prayed for this.
No one knows about the hard and late nights we had to wait for this.
Anything less than 100 has to go, so all of you are dismissed.
Jun 2019 · 300
Furnace 41
Seb Tha Guru Jun 2019
I’m shady because I want more?

I’m the snake because I chose not to slither?

I wasn’t built to fit in your circle anyway and for years you didn’t encouraged me but laughed when I was “out of shape.”

I didn’t even want the last laugh, I ended all my moves pretty shallow.
I thought the grass was mowed so tell me, how low does it really go?

See from this love village a boy grew a rose from his own soul and soil with no water or seed from his fellow peers.
To only realize, he was prince all along and when he tried to show others the way
They ignored him.

As times goes on, the circle gets smaller.
We will never forget The Marathon Continues.
However, everybody can’t go.
Everybody isn’t built nor ready for this race or this fast pace.

Still painting my pictures perfect, they never needed us.
We couldn’t get inside the doors but now they’re greeting us.

Ash to ashes.
Burning dust til dusk.
Only love we see through the lust.

More than just a poet, these words aren’t enough.
Jun 2019 · 228
Fitting Rooms
Seb Tha Guru Jun 2019
I been trying to find the perfect way to open this.

At the same time, I really don’t think that anyone notices.

Behind these word’s a person that had lost themself and the only thing they could do is run and fight themself for their pursuit to happiness.

A simple man.
No love from his own wife.
Well maybe not in his love language at least.
They can’t even hold a conversation.
Take the *** away, there’s nothing left to lay in.
Debating with himself like everything is a complication.

She’s angry.

Always feeling you’re down and out.
Your outer shell is hard, but inside you’re crying out.
And can’t even find comfort to just talk about it.

Comfort is a thing these days that seems so challenging.
You have to find the middle ground for both of you to balance in.

To find a partner who’s on target with everything you’re missing is inevitable.
Can’t even find a cure or therapy not even using ThereFlu.
I know a lot about it, I been there too.
When the only thing you’ve got is right there staring right back at you.
Surrounded by mirrors.

In a fitting room with hits and misses like target practice.
Only thing you seem to do right is moving backwards.

Fronting for people who don’t have your back.
Nor your best interest.
Especially when they’ve never experienced your position.
This all takes persistence.

And to these, one person beings who swear that they’re so in love, when everything hits the fan how do you stay above?
Maybe you can help the next, or spark their mind to understand that everything starts from your mental and deep within.

So where do we begin?

This love cycle’s something that just happens to us over and over again.

Break the walls.
Your fitting room shouldn’t expose and fragile yourself.

Take that weight off of your shoulders and put it back on the shelf.
Give it to God.
Mar 2019 · 148
Seb Tha Guru Mar 2019
I don’t know if it’s me being selfish.
Or habits of being selfless.
My intuition is burning, checking mileage on my wellness.

We all are careless.

I been on the road.
You can check the tire pressure.
I sit back, sip the tea and look how things were measured.

A friend of mine said “just trust me.”

So I’m patient now, don’t rush me.

But still in a dilemma to finish the race in first place.

The shoes are tight, you can check the lace.
Who’s real and who’s fake?
We all need a break.

They’re falling hard.
They break like a vase.
Banking and chase.
Well gone just as far go.

Tired of selling my soul.
I scanned so much like a bar code.

A woman said that I’m playing games so I guess we’re in story mode.

Far as stories go..
People are sharing feelings I’m like what are those.
Smell that **** a mile away without a nose.
Mar 2019 · 193
Seb Tha Guru Mar 2019
“Im trying to be patient but I’m prone to violence.”

“Yes I’ll get the seeking if you’re fine with hiding.”

Tell me do you love me, for me?
Feb 2019 · 256
Inevitably Seb
Seb Tha Guru Feb 2019
I was always told to stay out of my head.

Lately I decay in bed.

Hoping and wishing I gain motivation but everything I say is unheard.

I know one’s love and commitment can turn into something like a sickness and even addictions that I’ve never seen.

What if I told you one of my symptoms was tripping?

A side effect is over reacting on things that are never seemingly that deep.

What if I exposed all my feelings and all of my addictions?

What if the prescription is you?

I’m a custom to being broken and running from things that I know can help me.

Deep down I seek to be pure, whole again.

I often get sad on my own,

So much anger has grown but I’ve shown lately..
that I am ok.

Wishing the small things would go my way.

Hoping the benefits I reap and my efforts one day bear fruit.
And only multiply.

Uncertainty is at an all time high.

Love is at an all time low.
Myself, well I’m just mediocre.
I got as much lucky as a kid at recess trying to find a four leaf clover.

Perhaps I just need closure, from everything I ever would cling to.

However, growing pains are constant.
The roller coaster never ends on this ride.
Choose wisely when purchasing the ticket.

Truly Yours, Seb
Jan 2019 · 314
The Review
Seb Tha Guru Jan 2019
I was the one with the dreams.
I was the one with the schemes.
Battling things on my own, feelings alone but I had a whole team.
I never said anything.
Move in silence, do my own things.
Trying to find my way to millions.
Trying to spread my own wings.

Bad habits for daily routines.
I’m always running from therapy.
Losing my balance while searching for clarity.
Now, they tell me I lack motivation,
I was just anticipating and waiting.
Waiting for timing and something,
I had no clue what it was and somehow I was losing myself.

Reforming my brand, destined and full of success.
Branches but aren’t any leaves.

I needed help.
I wouldn’t accept it, people were turning their back on me.
Act as if it didn’t matter.
My insides were shattered.
I stay to myself and now look what I got.
Use to think I was worthless believe it or not.
Now I really open my notebook and jot.

Praying for Dre because they want him to rot.
Praying for Seb because he wants his spot.
Pray for Amodre, he messed up his shots of going to college, succeeding and winning a lot.
Maleek doesn’t know if he’s human or not.
This clarity came and it got myself closer.
I needed closure from things I was burying deep down inside while destroying myself.

Grow out my hair.
Stack up my wealth.
Practicing loving myself and my health.
Watching for snakes, I’ve been working on stealth.
Playing the hand and the cards that I’m dealt.

Built for success.
Been on the road of becoming goat, I must confess.
Passing the tests that the lord has given before disappearing to catch up on rest.
Dec 2018 · 1.6k
Shot Clock
Seb Tha Guru Dec 2018
A new year is coming.
We want all the money.
Telling every woman bag back.

We was lost.
We fell off track.
Let's hope we do not relapse.

How could I worry about shot clocks, when I’ve been fighting just to make it to the playoffs.
Getting fired and hired and laid off.
You’re too focused on materialistic and pretend things.
Trying to impress your friends and these women.
I say all the time let’s move different.
This won’t fix none of the things that I’ve mentioned.
The relationship’s more like tradition.

We fight and don’t talk but we're moving on.
I still stay to myself, I’ve been traded on.
I can’t rush into something I keep my patience.
But you’re giving techs, fouls and a flagrant.

We know I can hit me a buzzer to win the game.
But why would I win just to feel pain.
Trying to fix myself and my mind-frame.
Stay true to myself in my own lane.

We all know these other women all want me, but I act expensive yet they all adore me.
To tie the knot won’t complete this story.
Better tighten up, soon they can afford me.
A couple of years of dating.
We on thin ice like we’re skating.
Don’t want to break, I’m just saying.
Believe it or not, I’m not faking.
Spent my whole life for this training.

For shot clocks...

So you can keep timing me or move along.
I should be writing a better poem and songs.
Self centered, you’re right and I’m always wrong.
If anything, you’re the one taking too long.

For shot clocks...
Dec 2018 · 782
Golden Bolden
Seb Tha Guru Dec 2018
Lately they’re tripping on Seb.
Lately they all want him dead.
Lately he’s been taking meds.
How much for your soul wasn’t theirs.
Look at the horns and their scared,
like I was the monster that’s under their beds.
When they were kids,
their dreams are deferred, in humbling waters they tread.

Lately I haven’t been smiling.
Putting my mind in alignment.
Thoughts are real loud but I’m silent.
Don’t have the time for rewinding.
Lately I haven’t been joking.
Keep to myself, and I hate being open.
Lately I haven’t been smoking.
Hit me a black and a ***** start choking.
Picked like flower, I’m chosen.
Heart feeling jaded, I’m broken.
Shy but my poems’ outspoken.
All of them serve you token.

I sit all alone on these rainy days;
Earthly temptations are getting controlling.
Sooner or later I’ll fade away, but for now I’m just waiting my moment.
Dec 2018 · 700
Seb's Love Haiku
Seb Tha Guru Dec 2018
She is love and pain.
She is evil and spiteful.
She is my future.
Nov 2018 · 1.1k
Seb Tha Guru Nov 2018
Thinking you’re the man and the plug like you’re kool.
Until your kids and family are getting followed home from work and school.

Better get up on your night job.

Some will press you and not even want your work.
Just want to see if you're about it.
From the dirt.

They're putting my brothers on a shirt.

Not even in a casket or a Hearse.
They’re getting cremated, not even given back to the earth.

It's making me question my worth.
So I medicate.
When I should meditate.
How much for our souls?
That was even the intro for my mixtape.
And lately I've been falling out with friends so it’s hard to take.
Some can but most can’t relate.
These days there’s no need for a debate.

Experiencing and talking from this perspective couldn’t even make me whole anymore.
But, I’m still around.
I smile, learning to love what’s mine.
I guess it’s true what they say.
I now know that love is blind.

But never mind that.
We're back on that player ****.
Heart jaded.
Hanging wit the homies and getting hell of faded.
Intoxicated love.

I drove around the block twice, just to find somewhere park.
I stumbled, trying rush and get ahead of my already lucky start.
Acting dumbfounded but yet I’m smart.
I'm learning to be top shelf, and put myself on the chart.

However now,  I no longer care.
Stay in the house, and grow out my hair.
And truth be told all along, I was fully aware.

Trying to become the best poet.
However, my self esteem doesn’t show it.
While I took this time to write a new poem so no one, not even myself could quote it.

So now I read with my head down.
But after this, again I will lift it.
I had a conversation with fans, and they told me I was gifted.
Now look at all this weight that I done lifted.
Nov 2018 · 282
Seb Tha Guru Nov 2018
Baby I want to get faded.
Drown in your love.
Drink til I’m drowsy.

Baby I need me a get away.
Smoke til I’m noxious.
My thoughts getting cloudy.
But darling, your loves over rated.

So for now I’ll settle with wanting to get faded.
Oct 2018 · 605
Seb Tha Guru Oct 2018
I wrote these poems on a summer night.
I was high off life.
Grinding making better music;
out here trying to spread the movement.
Want to show love, but you need improvement.
Don’t even know the real meaning, you need to hit up google.

People are really dropping out on both sides.
But I don’t worry, our team has mob ties.

My pen’s been working, I write your recent rhymes and all mines.
Speaking on me is something that they all tried.
I guess y’all just making moves on y’all own time.
Just know, this coming January there will be no replies.

A short poems for once.
No more story telling and 30 for 30’s.
But I have banners around room to retire all of your jerseys.
Oct 2018 · 406
Seb Tha Guru Oct 2018
You don’t like my hair.
You don’t like my face.
You don’t like how I talk.
You don’t like my taste.

You don’t like how I think.
But I still ask why.
You be on my back.
That why I get so high.

You don’t like how I’m quiet.
You don’t like how I dress.
I may seem like a menace,
but I clean up my mess.

You don’t like my page.
You don’t like my songs.
You don’t like my poetry.
You only string me along.

You can’t feel my heart.
You can’t clear my head.
After a couple more writings,
I’ll be long gone, dead.

You don’t like when I’m outside.
But you don’t like me blue.
You ignore all my pain.
This story ain’t nothing new.

Trying to no longer let you make me sad.
Tired of back stabbing friends, and people making mad.

They say time heals all, but I guess that’s one thing we never had.

But I have..
Worser things to stress.

I was trying to be so blind.
Learning how to be kind.
But contemplating up in my mind.
Why did I hang around some fakes.

It took Mac dying to get a phone call.
And to be honest, you was better saying nothing at all.

But I'll keep it all inside.
I will laugh on my own.
While you and your little clique stays scavengers at my throne.

Wrapping up another writing then I think of something strange.
It’s funny how, everyone you bought around said they was the same. Little did I know, you all would change.
Sep 2018 · 843
Blurred Lines
Seb Tha Guru Sep 2018
Nothing is the same.
I don’t know where to draw the line.
Said I’d never love again, but gave another try.
Anything will bother me, they said it heals with time.
I know that this is temporary.
I know that one day, I will be fine.

Kissing isn’t the same.
No longer touch and to love, I’m blind.
Crazy how I use to think that you were so sublime.
Tried to run your course.
I even took detours on mine.
a hard place and a rock’s where I’m between, but I still climb.

So many prices I have to pay, to right my wrongs, correct these crimes.
Thought I’d never see these days, I can’t stay out my own mind.
Can’t seem to get out of my own bind.

I'm standing in the dark.
Somehow, I’ll find a way to shine.
With you and many other things, I wish I could rewind.
While you continue to get drunk off wine.
And no matter how I feel,
What I say,
What I do,
No matter what I try.
I’m wrong every time.

Tell me where I should draw the line?
Sep 2018 · 2.5k
Seb Tha Guru Sep 2018
Blessed I’ve been with God.
But I’m stuck in the winds.
How much for your soul?
Come pay for your sins.
Nowadays I can’t trust.
It seems so hard to win.
I don’t want to lose myself, amongst these mortal men.

Been in the streets fighting temptations.
Running from my problems and complications.
I’m so moody now that I’m off my medications.
But now I’m focused with more dedication.

Stuck within my flaws.
Smoking, have no wind.
Summers over, now it’s cold.
I've lost so many friends.
Nowadays I can’t trust.
And I cannot pretend.
If I ever lose my health, I’ll self destruct again.

Been in the streets fighting temptations.
Running from my problems and complications.
I’m so moody now that I’m off my medications.
But now I’m focused with anticipations and dedications.
Aug 2018 · 616
Caliber II
Seb Tha Guru Aug 2018
A lot is being said but no addressing.
A lot of feelings involved, but there’s never a confession.

Realizing there’s a lot in my possession.
After dropping the tape, now using God as my protection.
Whether light or the darkness, there’s always more than one lesson.
Pent up aggression has us building walls in every section.
Leaving nothing but so many questions.
But there is no question, I done got out the oppression.

I’ve really had real snakes of people in my grass and entrance.
Continuing to be in dark spaces with the demons could’ve gotten me a sentence.
The grass has been mowed so please tell me how low does it go.

But little did I know all of that was just the beginning.

Seen this movie too many times and know where it’s headed.
This is Gods timing young man, he even had said it.
I've fallen back so many times but never got the credit.
I was down for a long while but now I don’t regret it.

I really wanted to..
You can fill in the blank.
But those who know me, know I actually never tank.

Too smart for my own good,
maybe I was ahead of myself.
Maybe the lotto and top picks can’t take me to shelves.
Maybe being guarded up and jaded is bad for my health.
I don’t have a poker face, I make the best out of the cards that I’m dealt.

I stopped compressing myself, and I started healing myself.
I can now see through all of y'all and see through myself.
Don’t even have to write any more, I can speak for myself.
Learning to love through everything, how could I ever get ahead of myself.
Aug 2018 · 1.7k
Seb Tha Guru Aug 2018
Vital tensions.
Don’t hit me after reading this saying you loved my poem.
They all hate your actions whether quiet or in the storm.
Racing but behind me, I’ve studied all of these people’s form.
Destined for success was written when I was born.

Met a lot of rappers, they’re actors but don’t rehearse.
The ones I thought I needed are really going from bad to worst.
Just for a recovery, I’d have to do magic first.
And that ain’t all real, so there’s nothing to make it work.

Took a break for weeks but it only felt like some days.
I had to learn resilience, was taken out of my ways.
How much for your soul is a question asked every day.
They don’t ever notice it’s written within their face.

Faded, feeling jaded nowadays,
No man is clean.
Really can’t keep track of who plays for any team.
Take them to the playoffs and still get traded off schemes.
Now every single good heart’s taken into extremes.
I was left for dead to question what I believe.
Now I have no desire or motives in making peace.
Forever knowing now to not trust anybody I meet.
Leaving me to know that there’s nobody like me.
May 2018 · 1.5k
From Me to You
Seb Tha Guru May 2018

****** been watching me, wow.

Blowing my high.
I get no replies.
But my number one question is how.
How does it feel?
Now that you told.
Shut the **** up.
The ***** getting old.
How do you know?
What I be feeling.
And what I should do.
How about you don’t.
How about you just get the ******* ****.
How about you read this and never forget.
People aren't worthy of knowing my ****.
Now that I know, I won’t do it again.

Feel like a sin.
I'm all on my own.
I wish that y’all would, just leave me alone.
Trapped in my thoughts.
They don't have a home.
This is realer than raps.
Realer than poems.
May 2018 · 314
The Reply (INYTST Outro)
Seb Tha Guru May 2018
April twenty-five he arrived.

A whole month early man I’m glad that I survived.

Didn’t think that I would see my son alive.

Nothing but God,
screaming thankful as I cried.

Everything I once had felt is numb.
Everybody saying that the things you do are dumb.
Remembering when I was eighteen.
Money, Cash, Hoes;
I was living big dreams.

You really gotta give a boy a chance to grow some.
All these ****** taking like they know something these days.
They be acting woke but they broke.
I respect the world, but you all tripping these days.
Actions and scenarios got me surprised.
To tell you what you should do, who the hell am I?
I hear they acting up, I wonder why.
Won’t trip, listen good as write all my replies.

Sit down old men, let me talk wit ya.
Like Cole I’m tryna paint for you the bigger picture.
Congrats because you got a new grandson.
All the ladies saying he is handsome.
I see your brew is cold and the pack gone.
I got some good advice; you should quit pourin’.
Cuz that’s the way to prosper in this father game.
I’m tryna be respectful, put you on game.
I hear your words and I know perspectives change.
A lot of people say that that’s a bad thing.
The month of May, so things are getting hot now.
Being wild and free is the **** that’s hot now.
Me and Young been on the rise with a new wave.
But never mind that, that’s just a Segway.
I must say, I’m unimpressed with the things you say.
But love to see a black man get raised.
And plus you’re feeling proud and I respect that.
But really have you ever thought about your impact.
J Cole gave me sight, I made it big enough.
Ima teach him why it’s hard because his skin’s black.
Don’t wanna see you mad.
I really wanna see you chill.
Just thinking bout new life, it’s giving me a thrill.
But deep down somewhere **** it, I need to keep it real.
I wish I knew your thoughts and exactly how you feel.
When your kids grow up, you should be growing up too.
Not dismissing the fact that this chapter’s brand new.
You thinking bout your life while drinking I don’t blame you but you not thinking bout the people looking up to me and you.
I can only assume with clues.
That you got better **** to do.
You should’ve bought a house with all that money that you blew.
I know that you don’t think about the things that you be doing but your nephew looking up to you, I’m telling you it’s true.
One day these little babies they gon grow up.
And get a custom to your ways and your load up.
Now your house is looking dead cuz they don’t show up.
Which unfortunately means them kids done grown up.
Now you run around asking them what’s happening.
But you forgot that they grew up and saw how life could end.
Now you got the blues.
And you going through regrets because you could’ve did better on your revenues.
Now you got no jewels.
And you old news.
And a bunch of fake friends but I don’t judge you.
I’m just telling you it’s probably gonna happen in some seconds, let’s the kids eat the breakfast cuz,
it’s bigger better ways to The Top.
I really do wish you good luck.
And hoping for your sake that you ain’t dumb as you look.
But, if it’s really true what y’all be saying and y’all call yourselves talkin behind back then I promise that your ******.
I’ll be around forever.
Father skills on tip top.
If you wanna get schooled,
Or wanna get popped.
Just remember what I said before my writers block.
And if not, everyone gon have some tear drops..
Apr 2018 · 1.7k
Seb Tha Guru Apr 2018
Everybody, wants to figure me out, Everybody wants to understand.
All of these people just want super powers.
They all wanna feel like the man.
I got the touch like I’m Midas.
I got the powers, it’s all in my hand.
I feel like Lebron when I’m wit the team;
I'm trying to take us to the land.

Everybody knows who I be.
S to the E to the B.
Writing poetry.
Im lonely.
Think I’m out of my mind;
things been getting that deep.
I can’t sleep.
Hungry for what’s in store.
Hope it’s success that I reach.
Or, I just might Leave..
Mar 2018 · 308
The Vital pt. 1
Seb Tha Guru Mar 2018
I said I put a lot of things behind me but,
I lied so..

My life is complicated.
I’m lost in this generation.
I mean..
I hate my state of mind.
I’m lost like a balloon trying to find its way,
And you see..
Today is my birthday.
But I’m trapped in my mind,
I can’t seem to ever have a good time.
I’m not the type that you bring home to mama in my opinion.
I’m damaged goods I must say.
I’m woman crazy.
My body’s lazy.
And that’s no where near it all.
I been in sadness for years just hoping soon you would call.

I wish I had someone that would love me.
And I mean really know and love me.
Like, effortless.
But I’m so blind and messed up from another chick.
And that along with everything else caused such a riff.
Now my ex and everyone around me has the power.
Now I’m guarded and get faded for hours.

But I mean..
Besides crazy, got anger issues,
I’m spoiled and I;
Run from my problems when I’m the only thing that can solve them.
I sat one time all alone but with a full revolver.
My life is out of order.
I lost my faith in some things,
Mainly in pure love.
I’d sell my soul just to have your heart but that ain’t enough.

While I got missed calls from any and everybody.
Don’t wanna listen to anybody.

It’s so many reason why I’m complicated.
I mean..
Or maybe I’m just high again.

That’s really only the other feeling that can help me while I try and fill up this space.
Until I’m sitting in the mirror staring at my own face.
Wiping all my tears on a day to day base.
I got so much sadness and hatred running at everyones’ pace.
This is my last poem before I lock myself all away.
It’s complicated.

Writing and losing feeling.
Of heart breaks and commitments,
A couple catchy songs with my brothers;
It would be nice if you listened.
Or even ever read my poetry.
Behinds those words is a broken me.
I can barely see, what my future holds.
Im no longer chasing hoes, I’m trying to find the yellow brick road.
But lost awareness.

Now I’m a drunk.
Now I’m a pothead.
And all the seeds I planted, they are now dead.

Having mood swings like the weather that’s floating me.
I no longer wanna be.
I swear it’s complicated

Don’t drown yourself pretending to be deep.
It’s too complicated.
And I can’t swim but I rather drown in her sea.
It’s so complicated.
Should I retire and settle down from writing.
It’s too complicated.
Seb Tha Guru Mar 2018
Lately, I been in a different mind frame.
I been writing poems trying to change the game.
Lately, I been thinking bout the bigger picture.
Thinking that my ****** really ain’t my ******.
Lately I been feeling I should give it up.
Thoughts be on a high while I smoke a blunt.
I been scheming.
I been tweaking.
Heineken drinking.
Making plays through the week and chilling on the weekend.

Lately I been trippin I been acting different.
I been acting fake busy, I been working on the mission.
Been feeling bossy, Randy Mossy,
Shout out P Rock.
**** these, suburban *** ******, go hang on the block.
My mama and my baby mama say I’m acting distant.
But really, I just been taking care of most my business.
For TDS,
**** all the the rest,
Like it’s no other way.
I been Lowkey, ain’t made a post in days.
I’m talking 1 week,
2 weeks,
Maybe a month.
I been stuffing all of my demons in the back of trunks.
Tryna put my son and sisters in a good position.
So they ain’t gotta worry bout no other *****.
I’m trying to teach them now not to trust ******.
I’ll be everything they need,
They can count on me.
Don’t worry bout them they with me
I’ll be all they need.
Just know if you cross them;
Then you cross me.

It’s Pressure.
This for all the people that’s gonna rep us.
Everybody telling me I’m next up.
I gotta stay strong through it all
And act like I ain’t going through it all.
Through this pressure.

But the devil is the driver;
I can’t get no higher.
Asking how much is your soul to be the top buyer.
Him and the angels in my favor, they point out the liars.
Down to the wire,
I’m the decided,
Seb now retires.
Feb 2018 · 4.7k
The Brampton Way
Seb Tha Guru Feb 2018
Remember days bagging up some minerals.
Trying to find the toys in our cereal.
Now me and Don hiding from the ops like we federal;
Getting kinda hungry, not for food but for miracles.

I’m just thinking bout the old times.
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.
With TDS, for success, keep that in my mind.
And summer eighteen, promise it’ll be mine.
Dec 2017 · 490
To The Top (2018 Intro)
Seb Tha Guru Dec 2017
For 2018 I made a poem and toast to em all.
She say she love me but I know the truth, you been hit by my dawg.
Lately I been feeling crazy so I ain’t been answering calls.
I just been getting this money and saving low-key, keeping my back on the wall.
I been trying hard not to fall.

Going crazy, I been feeling the rage.
Last year I was stuck in a cage.
This year I’m going all the way.
Staying humble I been easing my pain.

Lately ain’t nobody watching.
But hate on my drip.
They wanna ride on the wave.
Creep on my page.
But I’m Low-key.
I haven’t posted in days.
My whole team is coming, can't eat with us.
All of us tough like an armor truck.
But I’m riding solo, it’s one on one.
Toast to us all, everyone of us.
Seb Tha Guru Nov 2017
Had a conversation with Midas;
It got me thinking different.
Lebron James flow, I guess that y’all the witness.
I’m contemplating so much, it’s hard to write a sentence.
Early stage of my twenty’s, yet still I feel a menace.
We blur the lines of life and death whether it’s right or wrong.
But I love you through everything;
still I’m holding on.

And for so long I just been locked away.
Been writing in notebooks trying to find my way.
Midas sat and he told me I shouldn’t sell my soul.
You need to just get the ball rolling, you getting old.
Your heart got cold, sat in the freezer on the early days of summer, to chill, now you writing but against your will.
And I’m crying.
And on the inside I’m dying.
Every body says be strong, and believe me I’m trying.
Midas said that I be lying.
To get infatuation.
I wiped my eyes and I asked how to change this situation.
He said it’s your destination.
Change up your formation.
And stop all that leaking on the internet about complications.
Found that open door.
But you don’t wanna walk thru.
I love you through everything should’ve dropped; somehow I thought I lost you.
But later it will cost you.
Know you feeling kinda awful
Ima come back and see just where this conversation got you.
But I didn’t tell it all.
I figured I would call,
And tell Midas I’m focused and I’m ready to ball.
While I sit, just all alone in a empty hall.
As all of my mishaps are posters on the wall.
Oct 2017 · 437
Heal and Rebuild
Seb Tha Guru Oct 2017
I use to think I needed a break from love.
Now realizing I need it more than ever.
Wear my heart on my sleeve and compliment it by throwing on a sweater.
Running like Usain Bolt through the pressure and the weather.
Saying to myself I can do better.
Knew better.
Vendetta against myself.
Don’t know my wealth.
Was in a dark place knowing my lifestyle decreased my health.
My process is just to heal and rebuild.
Protective of myself but should focus on my damaged shield.
Young, wild and free
And I’m reckless; I don’t wanna yield.
Living fast as ever as the world was my playing field.
Needed to slow down, before I get killed.
So I disappeared and wrote about it and all of a sudden I chilled.
Oct 2017 · 258
The Concern
Seb Tha Guru Oct 2017
I sat and use to pray hoping that the stars aligned.
My love wasn’t a sure thing, but now I’m living right.
When I needed it, no one couldn’t give me any advice.
But they always had something to say any other time.
Everybody that I met on the way;
Is trying to get in the way.
Use to making big bucks now I’m working minimum wage.
The man downstairs must really love testing my patience.
Someone down there must be in need of some entertainment.
Forgiveness for my sinful ways.
So much hate in heart but I still love, that’s how I was raised.
These days everything I think has me feeling a way.
Still learning and still growing on a day to day

With my grandmother out in Carolina is where I belong.
Was out there in LA not knowing what was going on.
I was doing things so wrong.
And it’s all because I chose a side.
I just couldn’t put my pride aside and confide in me.

Perhaps it wasn’t my time.
Aug 2017 · 352
Walk by Me
Seb Tha Guru Aug 2017
The eye beholds my paranoia.
To California to Georgia.
I mastered the pressure that seems forever and hazardous.
But still they say back and they laughed at us.
I'm back picking up the pen cuz I need to write my wrongs.
My condolences and apologies for these poems.
I remember that first day of coming home.
I tripped but I did not trip on things I ain't know.
Unfamiliar faces made me nervous.
Wanting to commit convicted court cases for the disrespect of restricted territory.
I needed a get a way after all.
Now I'm popping heavier on Percocets,
for all the headaches I'm about to bring.
Somehow to this life I always cling.
Immature and ******* is what they all call me.
It's like I was coming home from the pen, but from the army.
If I can write all my wrongs maybe they'll bloom before I'm dead.
But instead that bullet hit me in the head as everyone walked by.
Jun 2017 · 436
California Jail.
Seb Tha Guru Jun 2017
Stressing for some days.
Then I caught my case.
I been on the run trying to give myself some time to think.
Sitting in my room, all I did was drink and pray.
Call home twice a week and tell my people I'm ok.
They ask me if I'm stressing, I'll say hell no I'm straight.
But they can tell I'm different because it's written all in my face.
I been working out.
I been gaining weight.
Been having dreams and nightmares about my death and case.

Ain't nobody send me no mail.
Stressing with my back home girl.
Trying to see and conquer the world.
But it all is seeming like just like jail.
Writing down my plans, hoping I don't slip again.
Drop some money on my poems and books and trust me I'll bounce back again.

Things aren't looking good.
But still I keep the faith.
While I'm sitting up in California, trying to fight my case.
Running through this maze.
Just miss my mom and daughters face.
I come out every weekend out my cell just to party and to drank.
Back and forth with peoples words and court,
They talking bout some rank.
I ain't did that since with the homies I was raised.
Everyone across the country,
They seem so far away.
As I'm sitting up in California, trying to fight my case.
Jun 2017 · 374
I'm Writing
Seb Tha Guru Jun 2017
There's no change in the leaves.
Broken trees.
Tried to climb every single one and all I got was blood on my sleeves.

Yet I was aware.
This is the last time I ask what's around there.
Brushing the dust and the dirt out my brown hair.

Lately I'm weak in the knees.
Getting real hard to believe.
Every day starts off with grieve.
Why's it so hard to achieve.

But everything I can handle.
Holding on to a handle.
The only light I have is a candle.
Ugly inside but I'm handsome.
Forever trying.
Forever crying.
Forever dying.
Trapped inside my thoughts but I'm always writing.
I'm writing to who understands...
May 2017 · 192
A life of Fear
Seb Tha Guru May 2017
I've been holding on desperately for a long while, trying not to let go.
Static is my growth but I try not to let it show.
I fell into a deep depression.
Darkness encounters were often.
I can't describe these feelings.
These thoughts.
The people, spirits or monsters within me.
I truth no one.
I put nothing pass anybody.
They're all the same.
I'm convinced I'll never get married.
Developing a hatred for love so my heart, I buried.
From 18 to now my biggest fear was losing it all.
Little did I know, I had nothing already destined to fall.
At 21, everything came to a different light.
Lying to myself, and other like I am alright.
I have a lot of fears.
Fear of losing creativity.
Fear of losing touch with you and me.
Fear of everything within myself.
So I'm throwing in my hand and all of the cards that I've been dealt.
May 2017 · 428
Thoughts of Death
Seb Tha Guru May 2017
I'll probably die anonymous.
Or die with broken promises.
I'll probably die drinking some henny and drowning out.
I'll probably die crying with tears that never came out.
I'll probably die thinking, not trusting my intuition.
I'll probably die young from making some bad decisions.

I'll probably die buying some drugs while I'm on leave.
I'll probably die from wisdom in things that I once believed.
I'll probably die taking the long way from school.
I'll probably die thinking me and some homies was kool.
Or probably die from women because I don't pay attention.
I'll probably die with lethal injection for doing ******.
Or die from getting jump cuz her family told me don't hurt her.
I'll probably die serving my country in military.
Hearing just some of my fears,
Death to me is no longer scary.

To be continued..
Seb Tha Guru Apr 2017
Up at a time that I shouldn't be.

Thinking about things that I shouldn't be.

Sad about things I've been sad about for a couple years, I been low, I been down and out.

And it cost funerals of love, had so many doubts.

But I'm still here, moving forward on a different route.

I would give it all up, to make it all work.
I wish I could say, that they knew my worst.
End of the day, it's my gift, my curse.
At the end of the day, I know my worth.

Through everything,
I love you shawty.
You know you do me *****, shawty.
I need you to make me, happy.
Over you, there will be nobody.

Think about each other when we shouldn't be.
Missing all the past when I shouldn't be.
I be on the go.
You be on the go.
We go back and forth.
Different road
They don't know how it goes
But still I got my pride
Knowing I don't wanna be alone.
Certain times we disagree and you just let it all go.
But you're sitting right beside you though.

I'd kick it with my friend and I'd make it all worst.
But still I tried to hide it but show my worth.
Seems you putting my last, but many say first.
At the end of the day I know your worth.

Running in the streets when I shouldn't be.
Trying to make it off of writing poetry.
Loving all the things that I shouldn't be.
Knowing that it only should be you and me.
I was feeling blue.
Didn't have a clue.
Trying to figure out what to do.
And I'm losing you.
Soon I'll do a show and I'll glo'
With you in the crowd.
While I'm speaking loud.
And deep down, you are really proud.
Coming this spring, Ima fling
Ima Seek my dream.
And no matter what, Ima love you through everything.
Seeming to be speaking about a female. But the woman I'm speaking of is.. Life and no matter what Ima love my life through Everything.
Seb Tha Guru Jan 2017
I was raised,
in the outdoors.
Next to you and her.
One man holding a hand gun.
While She was giving birth.
To a younger boy to be just like you,
we still wonder what that's worth.
I wonder if you ever knew you was a role model to me first.
Some days I'd wake up in the morning, to see you in papers and the news.
While I'm looking in the mirror realizing I've got everything to prove.
You'd tell me;
You'll have the torch after me,
just grind hard and do you.
Which is funny now because I would only see myself in the rear view.
Nov 2016 · 792
No Life November
Seb Tha Guru Nov 2016
I Never imagined this.
Everyday I'm getting older.
This California weather and myself both just got a little colder.
Deja vu.
My whole body see through.
Don't even want to go outside anymore.
Wishing and living Godspeed for my existence.
I'm far from perfect, which is why I can only speak to and relate to the lost and distant.
I Love You Through Everything will get my back consistent.
I've been a historical disaster for longer than this instant.
I had to leave before the summer was over.
Pack my bags along with my heart and threw it over my should.
Move forward.
Find yourself.
A cross between being too emotional and being emotionless.
Bottle it all up and put it in the cold keep safe is all I know to not crash the ship.
But defense wins championships.
Make it to what feels so close.
To only find out I'm loosening my grip.
Can't even trip.
Pick up the pieces.
No Life in November, that's the feeling and date ironically the thesis.
I lost a lot.
I need more.
I need more drink.
Need more ice.
They say take chances in life so for once I rolled the dice.
But I lost one major but I'll forever at least try to fight and stand tall.
Was I working too hard?
Not enough...
Or not at all?
Nov 2016 · 470
Sunshine One Day.
Seb Tha Guru Nov 2016
I lay
My head
Against the headboard.
The months on the first day; 1k.
But yet still I'm needing more.

And they say
It's no way
She can stay
With someone, like me.
But she tells them no.
There's no way
She can stray
Gotta stay
With someone, like me.
Because she knows one day,
I can take,
Her away
Far away.

One day I will pay;
With all the money, I make
And there'll be plenty of sunshine.
Oct 2016 · 481
Desert Ops
Seb Tha Guru Oct 2016
Sitting all alone, trying not to fall apart.
Why do I hate so much with all this love up in my heart.
Suppose to be flying high.
With my head up to the sky.
Far away, I'm on my own, staring st the crash phone, guess my minds gone.
Middle of the desert.
Ain't got no time to dust off.
Uncomfortably living, how much does this life of mine really cost.
Seeming close to nothing.
Need to find my niche or something.
Soon as time reveals, I'll pump it up like I'm Joe Budden.
But still cooling though.

Cooler than a ceiling fan.
In life, I'm just the middle man.
Chase your dreams they said, so I did but I never ran.
Now I'm sitting in the stands.
Hide my face, I use my hands.
Snapped back to reality and kept walking in the sand.
Oct 2016 · 995
I'm Only Human (More Life)
Seb Tha Guru Oct 2016
I've been up for hours, not really my choice.
I sold myself short, thirty percent off to the devil, I constantly hear his voice.
This isn't my life.
I should've settled for two kids and a wife.
But I got complacent.
Everything in those moments felt good so why not.
Now I sit.
In the dark.
Depression deep down, I can feel it to the bone.
With nothing to call my own.
I really wanna go home.
Other side of the country just trying to build my own;

I've made too many mistakes.
However, they all made me;
Blurred vision when I think of destiny.
Or maybe it's the fifth of Hennessy.
Why can't I just jump and know for a fact I got the remedy.

More life.
More juice.
I'm seeing two sides of me, but switching up or pick and choose.
I'm staring at a tree trying not to eat forbidden fruit,
While I'm sinking in the ground, could I be meeting my roots.
Maybe I should freshen up and clean my Georgia, Henry county unfilled shoes, just to get,
More life.
But I'm Only Human.
Sep 2016 · 475
Seb Tha Guru Sep 2016
It seems like blessings keep falling in my lap...

I make poems for free, more so really on freedom.
Obstacles and demons surround me, Somehow I beat em.
Inspired by Chance, so I'm taking every chance like a rapper, moving through the chapters while doing my praising dance.

I started from the bottom.
Now I'm here, not the top.
Clothing brand, book and album, all ready to drop.
Jesus loves.
Jesus saves.
While we're stuck in our ways.
Let's all catch the wave, pray, hope and smile for better days.

Basically training but I've graduated.
Like the last kid getting picked, but I participated.
Patiently waited, for elevators, now I'm taking the stairs.
With every step I'm growing up that's why I cut my hair.

I'll give him praise, all the way til I'm gone.
Hopefully before deceasing, the family is on.
We'll eat good.
Thanksgiving, yet it's misunderstood.
Blessings on blessings forever, falling down like they should.
Sep 2016 · 1.0k
10 Day
Seb Tha Guru Sep 2016
Dream works; Lion King
Simba talks to Mufasa.
That's when I pulled my pants up, and started fixing my posture.
Then looked up above.
I struggle with love.
Struggle with hate.
Hard to debate.
Leave and change when I fall But I still wanna participate.

22 in 10 days.
Turning 22, in 10 different ways
A different shade.
A midnight black, to a faded gray.
I opened this chapter.
Dressed for the rapture.
Run and tell master.
While they're telling Ima take it all to the pastor.
Or am I dreaming?
Wake up Wake up.
Time to break up, from the shake up.
Don't let em see you down,
Get dressed,
And put on make up.
I'm evolving.
Starving like Marvin.
Sky is still calling
My name ain't Jim Jones, but one day I'll be ballin'.

Will I give back?
No looking back.
Dashing that.
Getting older now; getting bigger, steady hungry trying to pick up the pieces.
Pledge of allegiance to the money now.
Now and forever.
Finesse, but I'm still not that clever.
One day I'll be; probably never.

And nowadays 22 is still declared young.
But that won't change me from growing, I won't settle for none.
Nowadays 22 can feel old or feel young.
With these 10 days left I know it's better to come.
10 days before I turn 22 from this date. I've grown so much. This poem is to show I've entered a new chapter in my life, with my career, thoughts and everything involving me and the world around me lately.
Jul 2016 · 417
911 (Hell is calling)
Seb Tha Guru Jul 2016
People and soldiers loosing lives got me scared of loosing mine.
Nothing I can change, but I think about it all the time.
Truth be told, I'm a target myself we all just wanna shine.
I have yet to even reach my prime.

Small facts but in reality this topic's major.
Was forced to scream out I'm a death dealer and a hell raiser.
Prayed every night, hoping the lord forgives me for my sins.
Playing the cards right but still not guaranteed to win.

Plenty times Lucci tried to become my best friend.
But I love my father and there's no way that I could let him in.
He reached out to me with all I wanted and ever needed.
Sadly I ran with it, but turned it good and still succeeded.
Before that, he stripped me from what I wanted.
Nowadays, those things hit me and I feel haunted.

I replied to it all with slight reaction.
Went from stressed to blessed I made it seem like a simple action.

The fire rises, I heard from someone I once idolized.
The devil was taking me under by surprise.
Sometimes I'm proud to admit it.
Nothing can save me.
Nothing is safe.
I fall to my knees for forgiveness,
Hollering and screaming,
Dial 911 in seconds my phone's ringing...
Jul 2016 · 801
The Growth
Seb Tha Guru Jul 2016
In Alabama just thinking about my life and ****.
I thought the poetry was over but I keep writing ****.

It's really crazy how life changed and rearranged.
The time span of a year, nothing at all the same.
Finding the light in the tunnel, look what I've overcome.
It's the beginning I promise I'm no where near done.
A couple months ago I wondered how would I survive.
I prayed to God every night now look where I've arrived.

Can't get complacent, my time is coming full of success.
Once done with all of the training, it's back to TDS.
Constantly hearing "I'm proud", silently or out loud.
Not too long ago, I only thought I was a problem child.
Cut short the sleeper.
My thoughts deeper.
I'm feeling wild.
Don't even have the same crave for a black and mild.
Once used the money and the women too much for motivation.
Keeping the family fed is now the recreation.

Know I've been gone for a while, I know I'm really missed.
Don't think anyone that knew me thought this would exist.
Sometimes I'm feeling like my life is just a simple movie.
The go getter, the super soldier, but still wonder who's he.

I'm just a rebel.
Who shook the devil.
Who won't settle; for nothing until he conquers everything and gets his empire up out the ghetto.

Things are different now.
I can't lie, my vision's too big and bitter sweet
I wanna sell out shows, sell clothes, do meet and greets.
I'm rambling, I need to cut it short, it's getting late.
I wanna be influential, no longer slept on and make you all awake.

Back in the day, I would never do this, I'd rather hide.
But you can look deep into my eyes and see they're full of pride.
The ones who aren't in my corner now, they must've lied
It doesn't matter, sit back and just enjoy the ride.

TDS will forever be the label.
I'm just putting all of the pieces together as I set the table.
Left home for the summer to come back with a couple grand.
Tired of chasing a check so now I swipe or have it all in hand.
This is my first poem that I've written in quite a while.
And truth be told I may just like this one the most.
To my new day and my age this is just the toast.
I made goals with myself, this is my own oath.
I'm loving the tree I've planted for us and you can see my growth.
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