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I want to be your playmate
Dancing on the bubbles of our joy.
I want to be your everything
Providing all you need and more.

        I want to be your hiding place
        When storms of life surround you.
        I want to be the face you see
        When you wake up forever.

                 I want to be a steady beam
                 To light the ways we travel.
                 I want to be part of your life
                 As long as God will let me
                              ljm
Written in 2006 and lost in the clutter.
Why Men Cry in the Bathroom

For so many reasons.
I will tell you the why.
I think you know,
Or perhaps, you think you know.

Men are always O.K.,
Even when not.

We expect the worse,
Accept the worse,
Nonetheless,
We are forever unprepared.

Wearily, we cry,
In the bathroom, in private,
Lest sighs slip by,
We be unmasked,
Early warring, strife signs warning.

Copious, tho we weep
Before the mirror confessor,
It is relief untethered,
Unbinding of the feet,
An uncounting
Of beaded rosaries,
Of freshly fallen hail stones,
Of night times terrors
By dawn's early edition's light,
and welcomed.

But look for the mute tear,
The eye-cornered drop,
*** tat, that never drops,
But never ceases formation and
Reforming, over and over again,
In a state of perpetuity of reconstitution,

The tippy tear of an iceberg revealing,
And I see you peeping, wondering,
What is beneath


Look for:
the torn worm-eaten edges of spirit,
thrift shop bought, extra worn,
grieving lines neath the eyes,
where the salt has evaporated,
discolored the skin.
worry lines,
under and above,
browed mapped, furrowed boundaries.
the laugh line saga,
where better days are stored,
recalled, as well as recanted,
publicly, privately.

Why just men?

I don't know,
Perhaps,
it is all I know.


Jan 6, 2013
your effusive and lengthy comments are each a poem in their own right.  

Tinkered with June 22, 2013
With a push from Bala,
A serial peeper, thank God!
I will not be
subdued.
Cages don't suit me.
I have to be free.
Fly
run
sing
dance in the
open fields, swim
in the river with
the fish and water snakes.
My soul can't be
taken without my permission.
The access is denied.
My heart isn't yours to
mock and ****.
I will rise like
the phoenix from
the ashes and sail on against
the azure sky, free and
untethered.
Resurrected
I'm back from the dead.
Check out my you tube channel where I read my poetry from my recent book, Seedy Town Blues Collected Poems.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvXsP7xqEh4
It's madness and beauty
hangs inside my heart
waiting for it's duty
to tear my mind apart.
does it make you feel
like a big, strong man
to bring up my dead dad
and call him a loser
for being so sad?
and then to compare me
to him
like i don’t
stand a chance
to go anywhere
and i may as well
give up
and go to hell
because i’m already
living there
every day
is a nightmare
when i should be
following my dreams
and not my fears
but i’ve been fighting
with these feelings
for several years
i’ve cried the seven seas
worth of tears
and i’m done with this ****
i no longer want you here
i don’t need your negativity
dragging my bones through the dirt
i’m tired of being broken
and hurt
as you tear and rip
me down to nothing
and steal away my worth
i was put on this earth
for more than your
petty entertainment
my strings are being cut
and i’m no longer
letting you have control
it’s my world now, baby
and there’s a fire
blazing in my soul
i used to have dreams
of growing old and gray
with you
that’d we’d retire
one day
and find a place
we wanted to stay
that we’d find a way
to be happy
as a we
but now
it seems
you’ll just have to be you
and i’ll start being me

time stood still
for us
for years,
at least it seemed
little growth
really happened
from the start
to now
and everything between
we lost track
of all the things
we used to dream
we’d one day achieve

and i know i am like poison
i sabotage everything
good that tries
to penetrate
my heart
i **** off all the good guys
in my mind
and keep making room
for the dark thoughts
and stomach knots
that keep me
so deeply consumed

my future plans
used to all include you
now the hole in my heart
begins to close up
but another one begins
to spread
and disease
all my desires
and hope
for anything new

i am heartbroken
for what i’ve done to you
but don’t you feel
anything?
don’t you know you’ve
hurt me too?

things don’t have to end ugly
we don’t have to feel hate
we can still let each other in
sometimes
it’s not too late

just remember that
we were happy
at one point
try not to forget
how much we
really did
love each other

i’m sorry things
turned out this way
but i hope
you will be okay
even if you tried to crush me
with the hateful things
you decided to say
i have a lot of room
in my heart
and if you can behave
i won’t cut you out
like the tumor you’ve
tried to become
i love you forever
even if
you’ve made me numb
how you love
the field and the buttercup flowers.

the meadow
and the chase
where love becomes fire.

and it is love

that has brought us here.

a heartache for you, dear doe.

a heartache for me, too.

are you bleeding your heart out
not to be with him
as i am not to be with her?

a prayer.

let the ghosts of heartache
rise in the mists of dawn.

let our heartstrings
stop beating to the same
sorrowful song.

doe in the first light of dawn.

Run to him!
Waco
Ruby Ridge
Jackson State

May 4th
Kent State

(4 dead in Ohio)
There are miracles when I open my eyes.
The smile on the cat, the taste of strong coffee.
A Beethoven symphony while I taste dark chocolate.
I exist in the present, next week is nebulous.
The touch of my baby's cheek against mine
defeats the demons and destroys chaos.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgXtR-Z6G9s
Check out my you tube channel where I read my poetry.
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