4:21am,
and I’m not sure where the hours went
Wondering if it’s worth it all,
all of the wasted time spent?
Struggling to keep myself around
Plummeting deep into the ground
The line I crossed is where I’m bound
A game of lost and never found

4:32am,
and I’m not sure when it started
Wondering if I deserve it all,
whatever left me broken hearted?
A shallow rise for a deeper low
If I swallow lies then I can’t let go
It’s always yes when it should be no
But I reminisce what I used to know

4:43am,
and I’m not sure how it ended
Wondering if I divert it all,
will I come out the other side mended?
I hide in thoughts buried in my head
Live inside the plots I made up instead
I can’t revive when I know I’m dead
And I won’t survive in the life I’ve led

4:54am,
and I’m not sure if I’m myself again
Wondering if I revert it all,
can I go back in time before it all began?
I knew it’s wrong but it felt too right
I grew so strong but I lost the fight
Intertwined with the depths of night
It’s where I find just a glimmer of light

The silence is deafening when it makes a sound

The heart never stops sinking
And it’s felt low and immensely
High and intensely

An emotional seizure

The mind never stops thinking
And it’s thought deep and over caring
Cold and overbearing

Death is our leisure

I remember salvation
on the days when I fell
It would call my name
from the depths of hell
And bring me back to
what I always knew
That God would save
me and save you too

But I don't hear my name called anymore

I only pretend with pretenders
And contend with contenders
I'm only giving to the givers
And forgiving to forgivers

I'm only strange with strangers
And dangerous with dangers
I'm only hateful to the haters
And traitorous to traitors

Just because
I bear
the pain,
it doesn’t
mean it’s
bearable.

I'm scared of the tears

that I don't cry

The days like this

that I don't die

I'm scared of the pain

that slips my mind

It comes back harder

than what I left behind

I'm running out of time
and the clock is ticking fast
But I'm trying to erase
all the damage in my past

I'm running out of time
and these minutes never last
But the darkness that I race
is the shadow that I cast

The dusk made up of darkness
The dawn contained of light
As you were the break of day
I was the shadow of night

The bad made up of blackness
The good contained of white
As I was everything wrong 
You were everything right

I could never be calmed
by one who's in control

I could never be taught
by one who has it all

I could never be filled
by one whose heart is whole

But I could only be healed
by another broken soul

There is a world of blessing  
that is awaiting to surround me,
but piles of dust and ashes
are the only things around me

There is a world of beauty
that is awaiting to find me,
but this prison of darkness 
has locked and confined me

There are no limits within a dream
Insanity at its most extreme
Imagination aged the child
It made me strong, it made me wild

I have ocean secrets growing deep
They're mine to ponder, mine to keep
Creativity taught and raised the kid
It gave me hopes in the places I hid

I would dry your eyes if it
meant drowning in your tears

I would calm your demons if it
meant falling with your fears

I would fight your struggles if it
meant suffering your strife

I would trade your death if it
meant giving you my life

If only there could have been
Some type of an in-between
That could take me for awhile
To a world that I've never seen

It's not that I want to come
It's just I don't want to go
It's not that I want a high
It's just I don't want a low

I don't want myself without
But I don't want myself within
I don't want to commit to good
But I don't want to commit to sin 

It's not that I want to win
It's just I don't want to lose
It's not that I want a mystery
It's just I don't want the clues

I don't want to say hello 
But I don't want to say goodbye
I don't want myself to live
But I don't want myself to die

If only there could have been
Some type of an in-between
That could take me for awhile
To a world that I've never seen

Let me take your heart
to where it should lie,
in a place that consists
of only you and I

Let me take your heart 
to where it should be,
in a world that exists
for only you and me

I live in my own world
Inside of this cruel world
Awaiting the next world

I reside in the
depths of my mind
I left the truth outside
for those too blind
I'm not subconscious
or well aware
I'm half awake
and without a care