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ThePoet Aug 2015
I would
rather be
mentally
instituted
rather than
medically
polluted,
I would
rather be
socially
secluded
rather than
emotionally
deluded.

I would rather be myself, alone.

**© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Oct 2017
Just because
I bear
the pain,
it doesn’t
mean it’s
bearable.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Sep 2015
Mentally
insane,
psychologically
distorted,
I'm physically
in pain,
and I'm
emotionally
contorted.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Jul 2016
I walked once
through this door

But the door
remains never open

I felt belonging
here once before

But the before
remains now broken

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
Last stanza from my poem "Belonging", which serves as a poem on its own. (:
ThePoet Apr 2016
Rushing ecstasy
Intensive flow
Rising high
Crashing low
Raging apathy
Falling apart
Chaotic outbreak
Back to the start

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
Cycle
ThePoet Aug 2015
Is it safe
to say I
like the black,
that kills me
whole and brings
me back?

**© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Aug 2015
I don't wish
for myself to die,
but I wish that
I was never born.
I wouldn't die
after I'm broken,
but I'd be dead
before I'm torn.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
Thank you everyone for the support.
ThePoet Jun 2015
I spent
my life
designing a
border,
between myself
and the
world of
disorder.
But the
border was
breached by
a world
so sick,
with hearts
of stone
and minds
of brick.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Dec 2015
I could never be calmed
by one who's in control

I could never be taught
by one who's learnt it all

I could never be filled
by one whose heart is whole

But I could only be healed
by another broken soul

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Oct 2018
Let them
run after
you and
chase you
day by day,
because the
moment they
catch you
they'll throw
you away.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
Going through all my old work I never posted from years ago. Lol
ThePoet Sep 2015
I feared the mirror on my closet
as I feared my very mind
Drawn away by who I am
with a terror in my reflection  
But I feared the closet more
that had been secretly behind
Where I have hidden who I was
by every flaw and imperfection

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
I'm scared of who I am, but more scared of who I was. (:
ThePoet Feb 2016
Each day
is my
funeral
mourning
another
loss inside,
and each
death is
much colder
than the
last death
I died.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Nov 2015
There is a world of blessing  
that is awaiting to surround me,
but piles of dust and ashes
are the only things around me.

There is a world of beauty
that is awaiting to find me,
but this prison of darkness 
has locked and confined me.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet May 2016
The dusk made up of darkness
The dawn contained of light
As you were the break of day
I was the shadow of night

The bad made up of blackness
The good contained of white
As I was everything wrong 
You were everything right

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Apr 2015
Death whispered to Life,

"I promise, no matter
how convincing you seem
to them, they will
always run back to
me in the end."

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Jan 2015
Someday,  

I'm going to cry myself to death,

not sleep.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet May 2015
I'm in
debt feeding
illness and
I'm too
mentally broke.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Nov 2015
They don't know how it feels

to awake every morning,
and all they can wonder is
why they had even awoken.

They don't know how it feels

to pick up all of their pieces,
and put them back together
but still feel like they're broken.

They don't know how it feels

to say all that they can say,
and still feel like there's more
but every word has been spoken.

They don't know how it feels

to go to sleep every night,
and the only hope they have
is that their eyes will not open.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Sep 2015
I took a step
back, and I
watched as
you cried,
because if I
took a step
forth, I would
have watched
as you died.

© Sarah Ahmed  (ThePoet)
Sometimes being away from someone will hurt them, but being with them will **** them.
ThePoet Jun 2015
I shed
a tear
that drowned
the world,
it was
deeper than
the seas.

*© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Jan 2015
**** - love = nothing.

Love - **** = something.

Love + **** = everything.

**© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
(=
ThePoet Jul 2015
My very own
existence is
a cold and
blatant crime.

*© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Jan 2016
I keep falling
for you
to
the ground,
hoping that
someday I'd land
in your arms.

**© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Feb 2015
You cannot fix yourself with what

you destroyed yourself with.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Apr 2015
I saw death flash before my eyes,

before I lived.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Aug 2015
So long as there's freewill,
we may never be free.

**© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
Wrote a poem for this, I like to write a poem if I love the quotation and want it to be longer. I'll post the poem another day, it's called "Freewill".
ThePoet Aug 2015
I was compelled to confide
to a world of murderous ****,
so that I would never fall low
as to say my eyes cannot see.

I was enforced to reside
among those helplessly ill,
so that I would never let grow
the prideful ego in me.

I was astray with no guide
lacking a purpose to fulfill,
so that I would someday go
where I'm designated to be.

I was imprisoned inside
and stripped of my freewill,
so that I would someday know
what it truly meant to be free.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Jan 2016
Where I
could only
now suffer
but can
never die, 
because
I'm too
far gone
to find the
words for
goodbye.

**© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
This is the last stanza in one of my poems I previously deleted because I'm still working on it. Another depressing piece, I'm sorry. But it has to come out in some way, I can't bottle it all in.
ThePoet Dec 2014
You hold grudges,
as if you've
never wronged anyone
yourself.

You bear grudges,
as if you
don't know how
much it hurts
to have one
against yourself.

Remember what you've done.
Remember how it feels.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Aug 2015
And if I
were to ask
God to protect
me from harm,
I would be
asking God to
protect me
from myself.

*© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
Nobody harms you more than you harm yourself.
ThePoet Apr 2015
Don't wait
to end
my life
and take
my soul,
when I've
become wicked
and out
of control,
let me
die now
while there's
still some
good in
me,
let me
be free
from my
****** reality.

*© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Dec 2014
How much do you have to hate life,

to not be scared of death?

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Dec 2015
I try to protect your
soul from what I never
could endure or take,
I try to fix your mess
while I make the
same repeated mistake,
I try to fight your wars
but can't stand on
my own battlefield......

because I could never
fend myself, and instead I
became a human shield.

**© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Nov 2015
There are no limits within a dream
Insanity at its most extreme
Imagination aged the child
It made me strong, it made me wild

I have ocean secrets growing deep
They're mine to ponder, mine to keep
Creativity taught and raised the kid
It gave me hopes in the places I hid

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Oct 2015
I attempt to grip 
what damage leaks,
and tempt myself
to die for weeks.

And drink what 
my demise will pour,
then sink in pain
and wait for more.

I embrace the terror 
inside my cries,
and face my hurt
with gentle eyes.

And to some it's
found to be insane,
to become immune
to all my pain.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Oct 2015
If only there could have been
Some place of an in between
That could take me for awhile
To a world that I've never seen

It's not that I want to come
It's just I don't want to go
It's not that I want a high
It's just I don't want a low

I don't want myself without
But I don't want myself within
I don't want to commit the good
But I don't want to commit a sin 

It's not that I want to win
It's just I don't want to lose
It's not that I want a mystery
It's just I don't want the clues

I don't want to say hello 
But I don't want to say goodbye
I don't want myself to live
But I don't want myself to die

If only there could have been
Some place of an in between
That could take me for awhile
To a world that I've never seen

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Feb 2015
Our society has fallen in love

with being in love.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Sep 2015
I can't handle
another death,
leaving me out here
cold and alone.

And I can't handle
another mourn,
leaving me lifeless
as a hollow stone.

I can't handle
another grievance,
letting you go to
a world unknown.

Because to save
your precious life,
I would give infinite
deaths of my own.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Oct 2015
The innocence in my
nature robbed me 
of all that I ever had.

My pure intentions 
always left me alone 
and misunderstood.

I used to be a good 
person afraid of all
that was deemed bad.

But now I'm a bad
person afraid of all
that was deemed good. 

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Mar 2016
Inspiration was never
derived from what I saw
and admired, never
from what I felt
and desired. I found
it in a place where
I was weak and prone,
with broken bones,
unknown to the world
and alone on my own.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Feb 2016
I could be most deserving to die
but I can't help to feel this way,
to wish a darkness in every eye
that had locked with yours today.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
No eye may gaze upon your beauty except my own. :D
ThePoet Nov 2015
There is no you
and there is no me,
There is only us
and there is only we,
There is no letting
go of me and you,
When life was only
made for just us two.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Sep 2014
Karma is simply not a concept you
believe in, or a concept you disbelieve
in.

It is not a matter of faith or sorcery.

Karma is the outcome of your actions and your words.

And the results of your actions and your words can occur today or in an infinite amount of years.

A cycle of your making.

That is Karma.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
What goes around, comes around.
You reap what you sow.
ThePoet Jul 2017
I'm scared of the tears

that I don't cry

The days like this

that I don't die

I'm scared of the pain

that slips my mind

It comes back harder

than what I left behind

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
Feels good to write again.

Thank you everyone for your support. (:
ThePoet Jan 2016
Another day has risen
with me questioning why,
what is the true reason
that I still exist here?

Trapped in this prison
wishing that I would die,
just watching each season
passing through the year.

But how much stronger
can I make myself shine,
when my darkness will find
its way back around?

Because I can no longer
pretend that I'm fine,
when I'm losing my mind
crumbling into the ground.

**© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Jan 2015
Your eyes are my weakness.

Your scent is my proneness.

Your lips are my vulnerability.

Your hair is my susceptibility.

Your voice is my instability.

Your touch is my humility.

Your **** is my inferiority.

Your love is my superiority.
The twin poem for "Equations". Love is greater than ***.
ThePoet Jul 2015
I may not be
able to believe many
things, but if there's
one thing that I
can believe, it's that
I remain a puppet
on your strings, because
it's your love that
I long to retrieve.
Because it's your love
that drives my heart
to insanity, it drives
me back to you,
and your love prevails
over the whole of
humanity, regardless
of what you do.

*© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet Aug 2015
I didn't bury it or leave it behind
since the day that you and I met,
it didn't slip right through my mind
nor was I leading myself to forget.

I had forgiven you just as you asked
but it wasn't all diminished for life,
for I wouldn't so easily have masked
how you had stabbed me with a knife.

**© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
ThePoet May 2018
I wasn’t
born a
monster,
I was
raised a
monster.

© Sarah Ahmed (ThePoet)
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