My soul lies at the bottom of a cold glass bottle,
I live my life full throttle conscious and wild,
With unfathomable sorrow in the bottom of my scorned black heart,
I play fast and loose with love and idle madness,
Its the fruit of my life that gets me through.

Everyday is like Russian roulette in my mind,
Everyday I take a sip but the truth gets harder to find,
It doesn’t exist at the bottom of a bottle,
Yet everyday I desperately search for the answers,
Everyday I fall just a little behind,
It’s an unwinnable game that I constantly lose
everyday I slip closer to the end with no light in sight,
Yet it’s the little fruit of my life that helps get me through.

Sometimes I feel like a god, sometimes I feel like a roach in a pool,
Sometimes I feel like a king, sometimes I feel like a fool,
Sometimes I feel like the very essence of life,
sometimes I feel like the darkest cold death,
But it’s the spark in my lungs, it’s the fire in my stomach,
The Uniqueness! of my essence, and the freedom of my will,
but I’m still just a slave with a bullet in my head,
I have to drench my soul and drown my burdens,
For now it’s the fruit of my life that gets me through.

My stolen love,
My lifeless dead,
I’m nothing but a phase,
Just a jester for love,
Methodically killing my heart,
The bearings strained,
My soul desperately screams,
Nobody listens,
Self crushing salvation,
The calming song of silent distress,
My sins paved the way,
I stare in the mirror,
Into my cold grey eyes,
I see ghosts,
A hollowed hell of crushing temptation,
A shell of despair,
Half of what I used to be,
And everything I never was,
A gun on my lap,
A bottle in my hand,
shaking,
Here it comes...,
Nothing,
Just numb,
Tired of creating something from nothing,
Boy I can feel something coming,
Benevolent self hate under the dying moon,
Am I reaching the stars?
Am I searching for nothing?
I can’t find her,

I guess I’ll love the death in myself

Every night I search for love,
I grasp anywhere I can to fill my void,
The things I do to pretend you care,
The time I spend just to feel your touch,
My passion is so strong,
I know you only for the night,
But I fight for your affection like a soldier at war,
I’d rather die than to feel unloved,
I need to escape my lonely darkness,
I’ve spent too much time in my personal hell,
I’m worthless,
I’m tired,
But tonight I’ll have you,
Tonight you’ll be mine and tonight I’ll be yours,
Tomorrow you’ll be gone and back into my darkness I’ll go,
Back into my self destructive cage,
Right back into my lonely hell,
I’ll be useless again,
Until the next time,
When I find your love for the night

I love you
never going to tell you

distant
soundless
I love yous

she doesn't have to know
I dream of you
walking in
it's small little things

Slipping away
longing for you to stay
I can't look at you
bite my tongue
I don't show
I never tell

If I spill my darkest secret to you
will you keep it
take it
into the melting moon
chase the night
before dawn blooms