i may just be a player
in the game of life,
and to you i'm nothing but
a side character.

that's okay, but
to me you're center stage
right along with me.

Perhaps I'll move to the cardboard box
that sits under the stairs.
I'll say I found a new apartment,
one at no expense.
I'll have my own aerosphere
3rd-class postage stamps,
punched into my knees.
I'll get to know the gloves and folds
that package at my skin-
let the corners of the box
soften into different shapes
and alleviate my fears.

Oh sun-
Kiss down on my
Dulcet lips
And give your rays of warmth,
So that I may drool
Yellow from my mouth.
Let my insides be a raging fire and
Break my skin to an amber glow.
Oh sun-
Beam your healing rays of blonde
And let me turn to gold.

I saw the light, but I swear,
It flashed between my eyes.
This tunnel I walk blindly
Being hit a hundred times.

My skin I tear and tear,
To find the light once more
But all I get is nothing,
But blood and flesh and gore.

and he wept,
for he remembered it vividly,
he had held his chin up with his left hand,
while he knelt,
he had casually placed the knife upon his tender throat and slid it to the side exposing crimson,
while he wept for the crime he was committing,
for the death of a close friend.
He did not expect him to come again another day,
with a white scarred throat,
embrace him and call him brother,
and tell him that he was missed.
So he wept without control,
with gasps in between and a silent trauma for only now he could become whole

Dear Sister, you chose to leave.
You let me grieve upon loss.
You let me put myself last and yourself first.
You let me worry when I shouldn't.
You let me cry for you.
You let me get angry.
You let me feel pain.
You let me feel anxious.
You let.. you didn't let me do anything.
I chose to be the one to do that for you. To feel that with you.
You decided to take that for granted, and for that.. I owe you nothing.
I don't owe you a place to stay.
I don't owe you my love.
I don't owe you kindness.
I don't owe you anything.
Nobody owes you their time of day.
Nobody owes you the physical items you hold in your hand.
So why go around treating everyone like dirt?
To make the people that care about you suffer.
If it's to make yourself feel better, then I hope you feel worse.