I never said no, I just said not now
I never said I don’t, though I never told you I did.
But I do
Always have, always will

It’s no longer "Will you wait for me?”
We’re way past that
It’s “Wait for me. Please.” now
I promise it’ll be worth it.
I’ll be worth it.

**We’ll be worth all this

You cheated on my mother with your insignificant other.
She was carrying your child, whilst you were in bed with another.

You had a family.
A child on the way.
A loyal wife on your side.

How could that not matter?
I suppose we don't matter either.
In all honesty I never expected more.

All the Father's day cards I never sent.
All the I love you's I pray you never get.
All The I love you's my mother never heard.

She deserves better.
Your "marriage" is absurd.
Your "commitment" has been murdered.

Don't tell me what to do!
God knows you haven't done a thing.

The time is too soon to pass
There's so much pain
My eyes, pain is all I can see
I suppose this isn't what I need

Pain, be gentle to me
Because silence is all I can give
Pain, mold me
Because one day I'd become untouchable
Pain, release me
Because I am tired feeling the pain of the others

Pain be gentle to me.

Oct. 3, 2014
11:58pm
Vicson Villadares' notes

When you feel useless and sad, don't take it out with mad.
or else you might make others
feel very sad
which will most likely make them mad
and then the world will slowly become sad
and mad
and filled of rage and pain
Just know that you're worth it,
plain and simple.

I've been thinking
amiss all this drinking
There's a feeling of sinking
and I have only had two.

There's warfare
and there's no cares
and that's unfair
Just look at what I do to you.

And that's evil.
My spirit feels feeble
Because through this upheaval
I observed I don't have the slightest clue
about what the **** I should do.

So- I'll fight harder,
pray I act smarter,
And resist anything that is darker,
than the light of me and *you.

Some days, I don't feel the warmth of your bare arms around me when we sleep.
Some days, I don't hear the breath of your words as you look right through me.
Some days, I don't see you across the table when I eat my dinner.
Some days, I don't smell your cologne coming out of the shower as you're getting ready in the morning.
Some days, I don't feel your touch in the shower.
Some days, I don't embrace you under our sheets.
Some days, all I have is memories.

On those days, I crave you so I turn in to see if I have anything left in my mind to go back to those days when I had you with me and around me and in me.
On those days, I feel alone.
On those days, I feel resentful.
On those days, I feel suffocated by the good I have so far away.
And on those days, I ask if it's worth it.

Today--
Is one of those days.
And it's worth it.

I looked around
From left to right
Searching for you
In the sea of nameless people
because now I know
With our time apart
That I am ready
Ready to take a chance on you
I know that you've waited
For me to catch up
But now I'm here standing
waiting for you to turn around
I tap your shoulder
And then you look at me
And you realize our moment is here
You hold my hands
Pull me into your arms
Hugging me tight you whispered,
"I told you I'd wait for you"