Juggler of my life
I do my best to keep up
But drop the best things

A poem,
it's more than
line punches
between words,

a catalyst for emotion,
it longs for your practice,
devotion.


It's the twist in your tongue,
that you want to untie.

It's a log of your thoughts,
that need no rhythm
no rhyme.

As nouns don't always match,
and verbs don't always belong.

but this poem is yours,
it's your voice,
your story,
ideas,
your song.

It took me one minute after you soaked your words into me
that I broke down and the only thing I could muster up
any amount of courage to say is "why me?".

It took me five days to give in again-
tracing your words like I trace the scars on my wrist
an outline of memory I cannot seem to let go of.
Try to picture myself with anyone else
but it just made me sick inside
so I started to compare you to everything I love.

It took me seven days to take your sorry and wrap it around my lips.
Standing there wondering why I feel so nostalgic
why this ache inside my chest feels so ******* familiar.
The first time we kissed began replaying inside of my mind-
the memories demanding to be heard
and the flashback played as our lips collided.

It took 730 days for you to get it right-
but one night, two separate times you ******* it all up.

It took me one week to act like they didn't happen.
It took all of my strength and I've become nothing but weak now.
Basking in mistakes and self-loathing,
animosity and admiration.
It seems imitation and repetition
are more related than we thought.
I'm having trouble wrapping my head around yours
why it took repeated mistakes for you to realize they exist
realize that a future with me exists.
See, repetition can sometimes be a good thing-
but not the kind that breaks me down
not the kind that tears me apart inside.

I do not want to break
because I do not think there is anything left of me.
This baggage was left on the plane a long time ago
and she watched as everyone took off-
time and time again everyone comes and then goes
no one comes looking for her anymore,
no one even realizes she's missing.

She was a form of art,
for him that would be true;
hung in places like his heart,
so all could see and view.

She was like no other,
for him she's all that mattered,
her beauty too precious to cover
and hide; to flaunt, she'd rather.

She was his favorite color,
for him, a vibrant yellow hue,
an orange, a blue, and more;
that's what he loved for sure.

She was his favorite song,
for him a sweet singsong tune,
where his world could be forever long;
enticing was her rune.

Sadly, that was what all she was
for him, she cannot be with,
a love that's never meant to last—
a poisonous bitter seed.

————————-————————

*"You loved me, right?" She asked him.

"That's all I ever did."