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Esme 1d
I lived
No survived
For love
The hope that i could have teenage love
Then i could die in peace
But im getting closer to that edge
And as much as i love my first girlfriend
The urge to jump is too high
The one thing i lived for is slipping away
And soon i will have nothing left to live fore
I wanted to experience love before i died
No i want to die before my death
when i was younger i didnt attempt suicide because i wanted to be a teen, now im a teen and id ont want to suicide for teenage romance, now i have my first girlfreind and have realised having a relationship doesnt make me want to not die...small me was wrong, she shouldve died when she was 6, instead of put it off till now
Esme 2d
I have a girlfriend

I have a girlfriend so why do i still wish for my breath to be stolen
I have a girlfriend so why do i wish to have my whispers be a memory to those who forget my shadow,
So why do i wish to die

I have girlfriend so why do i still wish to not exist,
Why do i still want the blood to slip down my arms like truth is spilling from my veins
Why do i wish for the blood to crystalise in my heart till it suffocates and gets blackened

I have a girlfriend
So why do i still feel empty-
this poem is because for about 2 years now i just assumed that once i had my lesbian dream girlfreind my depression and suicidal thoughts would go but it didnt go and as much as i love her i still wish to not be here :(
Esme 4d
She said she skateboards,
I don't and was always scared to fall
Yet here i am standing on a skateboard holding her hands so if i fall she can catch me
I denied many of friends from teaching me
But for her I find myself on a board
Now every time someone mentions skateboarding
I can't help but smile
my first girlfriend skates
no name 7d
I'm confused I mean not really but
I am like I mean i love this girl
But my heart doesn’t know what it wants
Like this is our 7th time together
And it’s because of me I don’t know what i want
Like I want him I really do but the him I want
Is gone not gone gone but he’s not besides me
He’s not making me laugh
Were not laughing late at night
Were not playing roblox like we use to
I miss him so much but I can’t be with him
Why? Cause were so toxic but I mean does it matter
I know were toxic but we fight and fight but in the end
We always say I love you
I miss him but I’m with a her
To get over him I don’t thinks that’s okay
I mean its not It’s really not
Im hurting her and myself cause
I keep lying and saying “I love you” but do i mean it?
I don’t know
But what I do know is that I want him but he’s gone
So I’m stuck with her while I shouldn’t say it like that
But I am
Shylah S Sep 23
my pretty little goddess
the things i want to do to you
feel like they should be sacrilegious
but it's just my style of prayer
i promise
hi Sep 9
A long night unaccompanied
By any sleep or rest, only visions of her
Caress your mind behind a crinkled forehead
Don’t look for too long
Everybody knows that it’s not filled with worry,
For it is guilt.
Guilt is the bleeding cut in your
Heart, but it is also the plug keeping the waterfall of sin
Inside you, for guilt is better than their disappointment
Jealous whispers, wandering eyes and hands
Kiss her on the cheek and wish it was her lips
Lay between her legs in a non-villainous way, but still sweat bullets
Maybe someone out there understands.
Never will it be her.
On your knees at the foot of your childhood bed
Praying is a battle of the mind
Quietly beg for forgiveness or for her to return your love?
Remember when you didn’t have to think about this kind of thing?
She never did and never will. For you,
To love her is to be bombarded with hate, because
Understanding is never easy
Vanish underneath a cloak of normalcy
With time you must forget about it, right?
X-rays can’t see your admiration, so instead
Yell it into your pillowcase. Try to get them to get it. The chances are low, but not
Zero
Kai Sep 11
That first day,
Your face, your name;
They haunted my head in sleep,
And followed me everywhere
That tattoo on your ankle,
Scar on your hand,
Eyes like water,
Muscles like hills,
Engulfed me in your flames
Wrapped up in your breath,
Stinging from tequila,
Eyes red from the ****,
Lips swollen from the kiss,
Silver jewelry left on your floors,
And your scent is still in my hair
Drowning in your perfume,
Because it’s the only high I want;
The only high I wanted was your touch,
So I died in it,
And I laid in your bed without you,
Cried in an elevator leaving you,
Sobbed at a red light,
Sat in your hospital bed and watched you swoon
Held your hand and picked out flowers
And I’d do it all over again
I would do it all again
It’s hard to stay away
When she keeps
Crawling back
Building this up
From the ground
Only to tear it
Back down
Light it on fire
And say I ruin everything
Kai Sep 1
Did I love you too fast
Or too hard
Pretending things would last
I know it’s not my fault but, ****
I’m sorry you couldn’t get it together
For one night
Know I can find better in my lifetime
But why try
I let one night decide
One sunset, two lives
Could hold you forever
But why try
Sure it makes you sick to wonder why
I got so distant
I can’t lie,
I did try
But why try
**** me bro
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