I barely recognize myself anymore
When I was young I knew what I wanted when I grew up
Am I even growing anymore?
I feel stuck
I can't breathe here anymore
I've become too large for this small town
How will I get out without the brains or the talent to do it?
Am I here for a reason?
What is my life supposed to look like?
I feel like I've made a wrong turn in the universe
My heart is somewhere else and I can't find it
It left without saying goodbye
Where am I meant to end up?
How am I supposed to get there?
Why am I going through these things?
Do I even matter anymore?
Have I done all I can for this world and now am I just waiting for death?

A soul full of jealousy,
a heart full of pride,
I struggle to keep my demons inside
 
My mind is corrupted,
my anger unleashed
my path is unclear as I change my stride
  
Relentless anguish,
unbearable pain,
a place I know all to well,
Heaven help me, for I have fallen,
I'm stuck on the wrong side of hell

The Disappearance Of The Flora & The Fauna

As usual I watch TV.
Not news but documentary.
“Care and Sustenance of Nature” theme, wherein I learn
The world’s downfall is not the climate, wars or other,
But the disappearance of the fauna, disappearance of the flora.
Population out of hand, we continue in our building,
Take the forests and its bounty.
Must we mutiny?

In the forests are the flora and the fauna:
Insects, mosses, mushrooms, herbs;
All dependent on the flora, all reliant on the fauna.

Population out of hand; swelling daily,
How to build for it more wisely?
Species dying out of hand,
We, the ostriches in sand,
Where lies duty, where lies blame?
Where lies power and restraint?
Who shall act with calm and tact?
I, you, we who lacked the facts?

T has plans to dig the Arctic.
There can be no Noah’s Ark. Bit bores and drills.
Do we need oil?
Fated to be hanging there somewhere in space,
Green, over-green, impure for sure?
Seen from up above, sun-blocked from war?
Submerged in water. What could be:
‘Hell on earth’ no more cliché but nature’s blithe reality.
The Disappearance Of The Flora & The Fauna

12.1.2017 Our Times, Our Culture II; Circling Round Nature II; Circling Round Reality; Nature Of & In Reality; Arlene Corwin

what happened to you
who hurt you
who made you feel so down on yourself
that you took me down with you

what happened to you
to the boy I was best friends with
and trusted my life with
where did you go

what happened to you
why do you think
it is okay
to make my happiness feel so **** wrong

what happened to the boy
who was always excited to hear about my day
and the things that made me happy
that made me smile and laugh

what happened to you
and our bond
where did it go
why did it go
how did it go
when did it go

I'm sorry for breaking your heart
for finding someone
who makes me overly happy
and who makes me laugh
and smile
and keeps me up at night with thoughts of them

I'm sorry for not loving you
for being there for you always
comforting you
keeping you here
alive
and well

but I lied, I am not sorry for being happy
I will never be sorry for being happy
I just wish that you
could find it in you
to get over me
and find your happy