A piece of me is gone,
And I thought it would be back.
You left without a song,
And you didn't leave a track.

Instead, you left memories;
They replay inside my brain.
All the good times, all the bad times,
They just fill me with pain.

Pain from a great loss
No one could prevent,
So I put a shield around my heart
That no one now can dent.

In short, I wish you were here,
And all I can do is write.
In the morning, I feel your absence
And even more so at night.

I am from stories
Stories and fantasies woven by my cousins and I
With characters we built on ourselves
In worlds of our own, the only rules of our making

I am from hurt
From chronic depression and panic attacks
Too scared to be open or to not be alone
With parents who cared, but didn't know what was wrong

I am from care
From a therapist after four years of needing one
From connecting to people as lost as me, holding their hands
Being an anchor in the hellscape we share

I am from being queer
Having a crush on my best friend and not knowing where to go
Not feeling the label of "woman" fit
Scared to be hated for being myself
Hating myself, but knowing I shouldn't

I am from acceptance
Accepting myself as I am
And leaving those who could not accept me
Making way for the person I want to become for myself
Rising to be my own

I am from stars
From looking up with wonder every clear night
From never seeing a sky that wasn't beautiful
And if the sky can be so open and free
Then maybe so can I

I am from myself, and the story I write
Hoping one day to be healed in mind
Hoping to someday find the sky and stars in someone else
Regardless of gender, or anything else
I will be okay and I will be happy

i have gone down a rabbit hole,
and i see no way out.
I do not see anything:
there is no light.

i wish you were here,
but you are far away.
i guess i will sit here,
with my thoughts,
and stare into darkness.

you must write them on burning buildings
as screams and smoke fill the air
like a brilliant masterpiece of a Renaissance art
you must write poems
while your heart is breaking
and your tears soften the ink on the page
you must write poems while driving a car
As the excitement of avoiding a head on collision
floods your mind with adrenalin and excitement
you must write poems on mountaintops
swimming in the ocean or staring up at the night sky
you must write poems all the time
you must write poems while you die