If you wait too long,
I'll be wearing a ring
you didn’t buy,
promising my forever
to a man who didn’t hesitate.

If you wait too long,
I'll be walking down an aisle
where your shadow doesn’t follow,
I’ll be holding orchids you can't name
and sighs that aren’t for you.

If you wait too long,
I'll speak the words you ran from,
sing the prayers in your throat,
and bestow to him
the parts of me you never got to touch.

If you wait too long,
I’ll be someone else’s treasure,
laughter filling rooms
you’ll never enter,
a life stitched from moments
you’ll never hold.

If you wait too long,
I'll become the light that rattles in your mind,
the haunt you can’t hunt,
the hope you brushed away like pencil shavings,
and the love you lost to your silence.

If you wait too long,
I’ll be a memory dressed in white,
walking away with a last name
that I was sure would be yours,
and you were sure I’d wait.

We spent at least 15 minutes in the parking lot,
Everyday.
Itching in the grass and making up arguments.
Waiting for my mom to pick me up from your house after school,
Spraying mist out the water hose at each other and into the sky.
Overinvested in card games and extra-murals.
Got locked out of your club penguin account.
I lied to my mom about the pickup time,
So we could play pool a bit longer.
All that nothing might have been everything.
Wait for the bus with me sometime again.

Waiting’s heavy yoke; a punishment beareth I cannot,
Unknown steps before me terrify; well-known potholes behind I've trot.
Weighty dreams consume the ego’s choker chain,
Releasing all this right now, trusting there's so much more to gain
Travel to far-off places experiencing life in new ways
Adventure abounds, and destination awaits; confidently claim the future and graciously inhabit new traits.

The city reflects

my dream of love: weathered grey --


from all the waiting.

They say that when you find true love, you have also found your heaven here on earth. That's why I believe that heaven will also guide you towards me. But I'm getting impatient, waiting and regretting every passing moment, not being able to hold your hands in times when you need someone by your side. Not being able to comfort you when you're feeling down. I know that, like me, sometimes you feel like the world has let you go too. So forgive me if, in those moments when you feel that way, I'm not there to support you. If true love and heaven have a deep connection to each other, I strongly believe that we are also destined to be like them.

I once asked, In which corner of heaven are you? Are you close to the sun? Or maybe you're just beside the moon, watching over me every time darkness falls. That's why wherever I go, you always seem to follow. But you might also be with the stars, where many desire to possess you. Fortunately, when the time comes, you will be mine. So while you're not here yet, I will stand with the righteous soldiers of our nation. I will fight when needed and defend what is just. So that when you arrive, we can freely enjoy a peaceful life together. So while you're not here yet, I wholeheartedly pray to our creator. May goodness reign in my heart as a person and, above all, as his child, so that when we finally meet, I will also be a good partner to you.

Even before we cross paths, I want you to know that you are always in my prayers. And I will cherish your love forever, which is why I long to live repeatedly. I want to shout to the world that I love you deeply, but I will patiently wait for you. And when our hearts finally meet, I will whisper to you that you are my world. I will just wait, while you're not here yet."


© 2018 Glen Castillo
All Rights Reserved