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Thoughts come again and again they never end
Self sabotage cause I'm a broken mess
**** a relationship up faster than it began
Don't wanna get hurt again so I'll keep this charade up til I'm whole again
Sorry to the ones who tried their best to get me to love again
It's me and my head we're fighting again
Got knocked down a time or two but I'm not giving into
The voices that are screaming
Ur ugly
Not worthy
Of anything or anyone
Sorry to the ones who love me I hope u will forgive me
Maybe one day u could understand why I am the way I am
Push people away to save myself from the hurt and so they won't see
I'm dying inide fighting the voices the demons who won't stop screaming at me
Ur ugly
Not worthy
Of anything or anyone
It's a hard battle but I know it's not gonna be this way forever
Sorry for my sinful ways don't mean to hurt u just need an escape
Lying to myself thinking people care
Whispers behind my back spreading like a wildfire
She's ugly
Not worthy
Of anything or anyone
Hold ur head up u got this that's what they all say
If u only knew the truth and u were in my shoes
U would see how far I've come
Sorry I'm not the girl u used to know the old me is gone
Scars from all the hurt I've been through
Made me who I am today
Stacey Nov 24
Do you ever feel the overwhelming sense of gratitude pinched by an unwelcome sense of unworthiness?
Jeremy Betts Nov 22
Just because you lost
Does not mean you gave up
Being held hostage by your own thoughts
Does not mean you surrendered
Coming undone and falling apart
Does not mean that you are then broken
Finding it hard to love yourself
Does not make you unworthy of love itself

©2024
Jeremy Betts May 2022
(song)

Dark is older than light so that might be why fright is what I'm accustomed to
Neither vast nor confined, maybe both at the same time, it leaves no clue
I don't know how to get my point across to you to help you to see what it is I go through
It's a nothing that consumes my everything, there's not a thing you can compare it to
Similes only vaguely paint the picture, but it helps to toss in a few
If there was only a wind that blew, even once, maybe it would bring a familiar view
But this void in its vastness brings nothing new, allows nothing to continue
It's the solvent to my glue, everything I've done it's managed to uproot and undo
And it's so quiet but yet this silent surrounding is deafening to an alarming degree
In it I use to find beauty, now it's my captor, one of which I'll never be set free
And it's convinced me, or maybe I've convinced myself that I am unworthy
Of anything else and its that false certainty that cleverly keeps me in captivity
I carelessly embraced this darkness that slowly replaced the old me entirely
I scream, cry then whimper softly as the misery slowly embodies me
Then lay back in submittance, in silence and plea for swift mercy
I can't stay in this purgatory so give me my life back or take it from me completely

I feel numb, I feel numb, I feel nothing, there's just nothing, nothing, nothing...
I feel numb, I'm so numb, I feel nothing, there's just nothing here for me

I had light once, I actually got to hold it
But it was a betrayal, only staying for a moment
In its wake the dark returned to claim what was stolen from it
The door was too heavy, I couldn't shut it
The nothing engulfed my everything, I couldn't outrun it
Panic set like quick cement, begin to sweat, my feet became heavy, I began to resent and regret
All those scary movies I watched 'cause I knew for sure that this was it
But that's just it
Nothing happened, I literally mean nothing was the constant
No up, no down, no light, no sound, I couldn't even pick up a sent
Then in an instant it hit me, before my head hit the pavement, I knew what it all meant
Light, so faint and vulnerable, so young and naive
It didn't stand a chance against the dark, give a **** what you believe
Just because you achieve a small glimpse of hope don't think you'll never grieve
When your life starts to unweave that's when the dark races in like a thief
Every religion and belief labels it differently depending on the way they perceive
They have to cause a mind can't conceive it so it almost has to make it make believe
But please believe this is real, don't mis conceive
Best heed my warning cause once you're here you can never leave

I feel numb, I feel numb, I feel nothing, there's just nothing, nothing, nothing...
I feel numb, I'm so numb, I feel nothing, there's just nothing here for me

©2022
Vira Apr 2022
You do this to me
I was away from all the games of love
Trying to gather my pieces and find me my-self
You came and destroyed my entire wit and will
Proving to me that my resolute was next to nill
And I am left longing for you and fancying you every minute
From the moment you met my eyes, with love infinite
You are a gentle soul with the voice, sweetest
You teach me with the thought, kindest  
Full of talent and creativity!
Yet you need my attention? what a pity!
I am a plain jane, to your talents, unmatched
Human nature somehow is indeed complicated
Why o why
Am I worthy of your love? and what if I am not in love?
We perhaps fall in love with the idea of the person rather than the person.
Cat Jul 2021
It makes me sad that I can’t seem to find a way.
The entrance even seems so far a way
Each door a new beginning or an end to one.
I can not help but feel like there’s not a single one
A single one, worth the trek.
Sometimes I just feel like a wreck.
Jane Smith Apr 2021
I love you.
Since I saw the cracks in your bookshelf,
Your graceful hair intertwined with your shoulders,
The way you throw your head back and laugh.
If you are Juliet, I am death,
And I wonder how the snake felt,
Knowing he allowed Eve the apple.
I should hold my forked tongue,
For I know you would care for no,
Walking nervous breakdown.
Who could?
But this agonized black mass,
Writhing inside me, where my heart should be,
Barely living, barely dying.
Masquerading passion, good will.
I just need you to shoot it.
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