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Marla Toledez Oct 2018
You've built me up
Then torn me down.
Secured my cuffs
To bricks
So that I'd drown.
I've never been me
Around you
Because my loyalties lie
Within this heart of mine.
Can't you see
The wicked little world
You've created?
The deluded fantasy
That keeps you
Fascinated?
You fascist pig.
Fattening yourself up
Off the brunt of my back,
Then kicking me out to
Wander,
Societal refuse with their
Burlap sack.
Drifting off
Losing life
One little drop of pain
At a time.
This blood in my veins
Maybe there because
You made me,
But it'll stay there
Because I decided
To save me
From the cold
Razor sharp
Lie that is
You.
Celest Sep 2018
as you’re telling me
about that Girl you saw today
and i don’t know how to respond
so i let out a slight chuckle.
Because i have no idea what i’m doing.
In Reality,

you can see my downfall
you raise an eyebrow up, and
Check on me.
and i wanted you to say
In Reality, i care for you.
but In Reality,
"you don’t look okay."

as our hands are barely touching
your blood i can feel against mine.
my blood courses through
more uneasily.
the Feeling is completely out of my control
even if i thought i was the only thing
I could control.
In Reality, you are the one
holding the Controller.

as you ask me about
my Day.
i wonder if you really care
And the thought doesn’t stop.
are you going to Admit it
maybe i just thought of you
differently.
i was the only blinded one
In Reality,
your senses surely have
picked up on my breaking,
did they not?

but then i Realize

you don’t see my downfall.
In Reality,
you are my Downfall.
05-23-18 / concept: it isn't them at fault if you're the one still holding on. the message conveyed is that they're toxic, but so are you.
Xyns Aug 2018
Those words are like a switchblade
With a steel knife

You stuck in my jugular
And ripped straight through my windpipe
You and I we lived a lie
And spread it to the masses
I made sure to tidy up and wore rose tinted glasses
I saw the flags and all the bad but couldn't understand
I cried myself to sleep and stuck my head under the sand
But somehow baby I just never could be what you needed
Accusing me of everything, yet you're the one who cheated
Such a sad realization when you wake up to a stranger
That you somehow knew for years and yet your connection's weaker

So goodbye goodbye goodbye I walk out with a bang (Just like I walked in)
Goodbye, goodbye goodbye we'll never meet again (you should have listened)
I know I told you baby that this was til the end (for better or worse)
But eternity don't work for me, if youre hurting me, my friend (you were my curse)

You told me I was heartless when I left without a tear
I guess you didn't count all the times I cried those years
You wounded me in different ways in which I still can't heal
Still I was devoted, my hearts not an easy one to steal
I gave you enough chances, time and time again
If you really cared about me, than you should have listened
So call me this and call me that
I really dont give a ****
I know that for some other man someday I'll be more than enough

So goodbye goodbye goodbye I walk out with a bang (Just like I walked in)
Goodbye, goodbye goodbye we'll never meet again (you should have listened)
I know I told you baby that this was til the end (for better or worse)
But eternity don't work for me, if youre hurting me, my friend (you were my curse)

How can I learn to trust again after such a failure?
You were just another waste of time, you weren't my savior
Sometimes I still think of things you said I get lost inside your lies
But I've grown so much since I stood my ground, you'll never realize
I won't allow myself to act ****** over another guy
I deserve the world and will except no less than the moon, the stars, and sky

So goodbye goodbye goodbye I walk out with a bang (Just like I walked in)
Goodbye, goodbye goodbye we'll never meet again (you should have listened)
I know I told you baby that this was til the end (for better or worse)
But eternity don't work for me, if youre hurting me, my friend (you were my curse)

Fast forward to the future and look how much I've grown
Can't believe how good I'm doing out here all on my own
I became my own support system, my own best friend
I don't need nobody else baby I got this til the end
But then a pair of eyes caught mine in a way I can't explain
They look not a thing like yours and I'm over the moon again
But this time will be different, this time Ill be stronger
I refuse to be abused or suffer any longer

So goodbye goodbye goodbye I walk out with a bang (Just like I walked in)
Goodbye, goodbye goodbye we'll never meet again (you should have listened)
I know I told you baby that this was til the end (for better or worse)
But eternity don't work for me, if youre hurting me, my friend (you were my curse)

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
I'm done with all your heartache
And I promise you by the time you notice what you threw away
I'll be someone else's cherished "mistake"
Zeyea Jul 2018
The heaviness on my chest,
the strangled breaths stinking of wafting toxicity,
the bloodstains on my hands
from a ****.
My mind is whirling,
and I wonder
if this is it
if this is insanity distorted past reality
if I am truly lost in this labyrinth of twisted smiles and white lies
if I have finally finally turned myself into a monster.
s Jun 2018
there's a lot wrong
with the earth-
& with my head
i'm trying to shed my addict skin
i'm so much more than what i depict
& i've come pretty far,
considering where i've been

& the world still looks bleak
but i've gained some light
by burning down every
bridge in my sight
& you may say my pyromania
is born out of spite
but your toxicity is now gone-
&  i can finally breathe right

so i'm going to continue
to fix myself
i'll box up old memories
& hide them on the shelf
cause i'm tired of treating the past
like a prison cell.
& i've roamed ******* far
from the pits of your ****.
?
Marty T Ottman Jun 2018
toxic
Where ever you may be let there be solicitude. Clear all other moods my dear. a sensitivity you took for granted. All the ******* you ranted. Still all is forgiven, but not forgotten. As my inner demons want to see you rotting. this battle inst over yet, let compassion fill your heart; before all is to late an ripped apart. you had my sympathy but forget my empathy. Let off the deep end, descend my ill minded friend. i know this is hard to comprehend. quite useless indeed. just heed the warning because we may not see the next morning my friend. peace cease to rest as for your no longer here, just a mirror i broke.  so evoke or choke on this toxic air. as its seems harder to bare.   to everyone who thinks differently or indifferently i wish you all well. as i step through **** watching from the inside out.. endless route. i now walk in solitary, that this wont end through any

promissory i held.  ashes fades to grey.  only to feel betrayal to watch all vanish away.

  X.x ftw an FML
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