Do you ever wonder what the message that I never sent said?
The message that from your side could only see it pending, while I read it back to myself over and over, hesitant to click send because I knew that depending on one small movement of my index finger, my world could either burst with colour and become complete or drain to grays and crash down, never to be rebuilt as sturdy again.
The message that pulled me away from society and slowed time while I was trapped in my subconscious, unaware of the events unfolding around me because the only thing that mattered were all the different storylines that could become my life in a matter of seconds depending on if you read that one message.
The message that was so carefully phrased and forged through a mixture of sudden confidence, the truth of how I felt for you, and my desperation for change; to change the way that I spend every night alone longing for your love, and to replace my sadness and tears with the solace knowing that you desire and care about me.
The message that I ended up losing faith in and erased, for I was too scared to risk it all, because if it hit me that my fears were now my reality, it would have been the one blow that shattered my cold, cracked heart into millions of shards so sharp, anyone who tried to put them back together would just end up damaging themselves too.
So in those moments where I let my mind drift, the question that will forever lack an answer often resurfaces;
Do you ever wonder what the message that I never sent said?