But how do you win when you've already lost?
And how do you forgive when you already know the cost?
What's it feel like?
I can't tell anymore, I'm so long lost.
Does it ever end?
Do we stop, dry our eyes, just pretend?
And if there is indeed a way out which one do you recommend?
What's it feel like?
Is there hope for the lost souls?
Is there a way to be good again?

of faking smiles,
pretending im okay

im very very tired
of breaking and beating myself
trying to fit into your cage

im very very tired
of hearing "how are you"s on campus
and knowing that a fleeting friendly second isn't enough to explain

im very very tired
of going out at night and drinking my problems away

im very very tired
of selling myself to feel like i have worth

im very very tired
and sleep just isn't helping

Sometimes, there ain't nothin' to say--
and on these days my tongue lays limp
and delicate and ashy
like one of those incense sticks
just before the ashes drop and disintegrate.

On these days my mind is an insomniac
attempting sleep just before sunrise--
jostling in a half-hazy-lazy rapid eye sedative lullaby
crooning potential plot points from French voices
about a story I've be writing for about a year.

On these days nothing seems finished
from a monster vegetable and eggs breakfast appetite
to a thought about that magic lightning stick.
It's as if there's this thick fatty mist
that smells of boiled ham and peas around my being.

I usually can write,
but sometimes words dont come out right,

i usually can sing,
but sometimes my voice can sting,

i usually can paint,
but sometimes my colours are faint,

i usually can fly,
but sometimes i dont even try,

i usually can laugh,
but sometimes i wanna cry,

i usually can charm,
but sometimes am a ******,

i usually can love,
but sometimes am layed back,

i usually can advice,
but sometimes am the fool,

i usually can give my heart out,
but sometimes an emotionally bankrupt,,,

i usually get weird,,,
but sometimes am normal,

i usually can do a lot,
when am up to it of course..
But sometimes i choose not to,

its just me!

Body