Fluttering at shutter speed.
Is it my heart inside my chest,
or my lungs palpitating.

It is my veins.  
Rushing with blood, or collapsing for lack of.

It is my stomach. Eating away its own lining;
Acidic paint splattered across its walls. Whitewashing them
With every sporadic convulsion I feel.

A fortnight,
No sleep.

When I do sleep, I do not sleep.

I am depressed. Unhappy.  Not entertained.  

Overly-dramatic.

Questioning every decision I’ve ever made about life,
I inflate with anger.

I think about opportunities passed.

I revolt with envy when I see artists prevail.

I am a miserable **** brimming with unseen talent.




I miss cigarettes.

I miss *******.

Cheap whiskey and grinding my teeth
until 2 in the afternoon when my bloodshot eyes’ll tell you more
than you could ever learn reading my palms.

Fake prophesies of people who never really cared,

and rooms lit up with cheap disco lights and moist carpets.
Perfectly ripened with mildew and sweat and DNA.


The saved lives of unborn infants.


The lucky few.

Until I lose my voice
and no one listens
the unsaid words of love
will accumulate
inside me,
and will appear on my face
like the flashes
from an electronic sign
whose bulbs have all blown
except for two or three
intermittently appearing
like a code
that no one but you
understands.

Until I lose my mind
with no one's help
the unthought thoughts
will accumulate
and be sacrificed
like my greatgrandfather,
an Isaac who wasn't spared.
And I, an Isaac who was,
was born under the sign of the ram,
to be sacrificed in other ways.

my lips are tied
and eyes are numb
coz my lips always lied
impersonating me to be a ****

lies were told
and you believe it all
truth is yet to unfold
I'm already at a fall

your mind acted rational
while the heart acted dumb
lies you believed were intentional
but failed to read my eyes getting numb

my heart wasn't prepared
to unveil my feelings to you
so to my friend's heart I spared
coz he loved you too!!!

sorry if I hurt you
this situation was a bit new
YOU were not a trophy to be given
for this I must never be forgiven!!!

punish me with all you have
your absence is my reward
Really sorry for being a naive
and treating you like an award

my heart is crying
can you hear its sob
the time is running
can you hear its tic-tock
tic-tock... tic-tock...

This is not about me.

If you actually took notice,
You would know your daughter cuts.
She takes the razor everyday,
Cause they said she was a ****

If you actually took notice,
You would know your daughter's teased.
She is shoved and called names,
They said she had a disease.

If you actually took notice,
You would know your daughter's dead,
She hung from the rope,
And put the bullet through her head.

You try to notice now,
But it is too late,
Her heart doesn't beat anymore,
She has sealed her fate.

Her hope was like a candle,
Getting smaller everyday,
The flame of ambition snuffed out,
But her candle was never replaced.

She had given up on life,
But if one person has cared,
She would still be here,
Her life would have been spared.