Over the holidays, I was watching Lisa’s sister little Leeza, she’s 14.
She has a rebellious fashion sense and a joyful innocence.
She’s still fearless too, and on-God, I hope she never loses that.

Too soon though—the disco’s coming to town—the world’s coming for her. It’s the same for all of us, I suppose, but in Lisa and my cases, covid shut it all down.

It’s a rite of passage—the shoes, the bodycon dresses and the makeup. Those carry negative connotations, I get it, but there’s an excitement too, about finally getting to dress like an adult—a woman—in one of those bodycon, cut-out dresses.

I know the pressures on women and their bodies, but at her age, it's not all stress, cattiness and comparisons—it’s just innocent teen fun. She and her posse can take hours just dressing and doing their make-up—together. It’s probably the best part of their night.

Leeza’s dad (Michael) saw the little group of teens, all dolled-up and launched, like a SpaceX Starship. Pacing the living room, he quietly opined to Karen (her mom), “I don’t want her going out dressed like that.”

Karen was right there with him to cool things down, “No, ***, at her age, it’s about self-expression, learning and girl bonding—these connections are really important in the girl-world.”

I’m not worried about Leeza’s physical safety. These girls are watched over and gently curated. Their every movement is orchestrated and security escorted—hell, Hamas couldn’t get to them—much less some gropey boy.

There’s just this new awareness these days of how unhappy some people are—and a lot of them are teen girls. I wouldn’t want to see Leeza mired in the sad, brain-draining social media pressure and self-esteem traps.
Teenhood is scary—I was feelin’ positively parental.

Then I looked at Lisa, and I was reminded that they’ve done all this before, and she has a big-sister, role-model too.
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Songs for this:
Good Time Girl (feat. Charlie Barker) by Sofi Tukker
Dance To This (feat. Ariana Grande) by Troye Sivan

I wish I didn’t hate you
As much as I loved you
I wish our relationship was easy,
Just as sisterhood is supposed to be

I wish you didn’t get so angry
And your rage didn’t feel so routine
I wish I didn’t have to think twice
Before listening to you, wondering
If your story’s a lie, or just your warped,
Narcissistic truth

I wish this felt more like family,
And we didn’t have to talk behind your back
I wish you were happier, and freer
And less controlled by your anger

I wish you didn’t self-sabotage after
Every good thing
I wish you didn’t love me so much
Because maybe then, it would be easier

I heard the door open. It was Leeza (Lisa’s 14-year-old sister),
she’d been out on a date. I was the only one in the living room
as she came in and sagged, dejectedly onto the huge, white
sectional couch, right next to me. She looked positively
deflated. Which is unusual because up until now,
she’s been all freckles and smiles

Ok, here’s where we get poetic and rhyme, with innuendo and allusion:

Me: “Did you have a good time?”
Leeza: “No but I was trying.”
Me: “Did he get handsy—the swine?”
Leeza: “Argh! No—but his kisses are a crime.”
I gasped: “You didn’t give him a climb!?”
Leeza “NO!” she said, somewhat horrified.
Me (trying to be neutral): “No judging, it would have been.. fine (I lied).”
Leeza: “That’s never going to happen.”
“Good,” I declared, “he was just a distraction—and, you know Santa.”
“What about Santa?”

Whew, that’s enough of THAT (rhyming business).

She asked, so, yeah, I sang it.. I had to.

“He knows who you’ve been kissing,
what you’re thinking when you’re awake,
he knows if you’ve been bad or good—
he’s kind of like a cop that way.”

After a moment's silence Leeza asked,
“Is there something creepy about that?”
“Only if you think about it.” I admitted,
as she put her head on my shoulder.
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A song for this:
Fairytale of New York (feat. Kirsty MacColl) by The Pogues
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A Christmas Playlist! There’s 6 days til Christmas (and Hanukkah)
http://daweb.us/xmas/Christmas_25.mp3

What a wonderful sister, you are
For you, a lot do I care
Not all the time, may we talk
However, when it gets really dark
You are the light I badly need
Your words of advice, are always to be heeded
And interacting with you is so much fun
That it makes me forget all my pain!

What a wonderful sister, you are
With you around, is there nothing to fear
Indeed, do you have a very calming presence
And gifted are you, with oodles of common sense
No wonder, are you such a fine lawyer
A lot of trouble, do you often have to bear
However, every test do you end up clearing with flying colours
For you, are no circumstances too adverse!!

What a wonderful sister, you are
Grinning was I, from ear to ear
When you arrived a few weeks back
Brought me some respite from work
So thoughtful, was your gift
Truly, do you possess a golden heart!!

What a wonderful sister, you are
And will be, now and forever
Keep smiling and take care
And may you be blessed with a glorious future!!

In another universe.
Things would be so new.

There wouldn't be a me.
Without having a you.

We'd have the things we crave.
Our stomachs would be full.

There would be so much laughter.
There would be so much chatter.

Your smile would've never dimmed.
Your eyes would've never darkned.

We'd be a family.

There would be a fully set table.
There would be a fully set house.

Nothing would ever be fixed.
As nothing would be broken.

You would have stayed you.
I would have stayed me.

Now we are worlds apart.
Now we are left alone.

All I have are memories.
Even in time they fade.

There is no alternate universe.
And it's killing me everyday.

We will always be sisters.
We will never be the same.

My heart will always ache.

I used to think we were the Little Women

Louisa May Alcott wrote about

Meg was the oldest, responsible and kind

Jo was the middle child, passionate and determined

And I was Amy, stubborn and young.

Now I see each sister in myself and in them.

My eldest sister has the drive and intelligence of Jo and her independence, yet the softness of Meg, the soul of Beth. But the beauty of Amy.

The middle sibling, is a romantic like Meg and fiery like Amy, she always knew what she wanted. Like Jo she never gave up and chose what was right for her. Like Beth she finds solace in her home.

And myself..

I still bear the bluntness of Amy, her stubborn realism. But my writing is of Jo’s spirit, free and adventurous, words dancing across the page. I love like Meg does and strive to be like Beth, she appears in my homeliness.

We may not be the girls Alcott wrote of but our stories live on in my script. Our childhood selves saved away in the corners of my mind, waiting to appear on a page, preserved.

One day I’ll write us, our story, our lives


But to me we’ll always be my

Little Women.

Her smile lays upon my glassed eyes
The replaced I was, I cried
She smiles with an evil grin
The fate of my sister she did spin

Now I am the second choice
She’s left to rot, echoes her voice
The next best thing to come to her
Guess I am just here for a leftover

How easy it is to throw a ******* smile,
Say some normal words while your brain runs a mile,
How your feet keep walking and your hands keep moving,
Yet everything inside you decomposes into ruin.
To laugh a happy laugh and make a funny joke,
While your stomach twists and turns and feels it’s going up in smoke.

Last week was fine - what has happened to my mind?
I was enjoying life and sunshine - why now can’t I stop crying?
It consumed me less before so why so much today,
Why’s my heart now breaking why’s it ruining my day?

There’s no rhyme or reason to this crazy thing called grief,
It calms down for a moment then picks up like a stray leaf,
It takes it time to come and then it hits you all at once,
So please excuse me for a minute if I’m failing this front.

Best wishes, dear sister
So sorry am I, that I can't be there
On what is probably the biggest day of your life
After all, getting a US visa is quite tough
However, for you, am I so happy
Aakash is indeed an amazing ally!

Best wishes, dear sister
Aakash is such a dear
May the two of you have a great life
You, I am sure, will be an excellent wife
May you both be there for each other
Through good and bad times
May you learn a lot of things from each other
And may your love blossom
Into something as everlasting as change
And may you infinitely expand your range!!

Best wishes, dear sister
So proud am I, to be your brother
May you and Aakash have the grandest wedding
And on you, may the Almighty shower his blessings
Have a blast and take care
May this beautiful pair stay happy forever!!

(a poem in Senryus)

They say that you should
never follow whisky with
beer - but my new rhyme

is - never follow
several martinis with
two more martinis

Ladies, please take my
advice, you can’t focus your
eyes in the morning

When your roommates rude
little sister runs the loud
vacuum around noon

Who gets up before
noon in the summer? It’s not
right, if you ask me.

“Mom told me to?” That’s
an excuse reminiscent
of old Nuremberg

I have feels for her
as encumbered as she is
by parental yoke.
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A song for this (please play it low):
Hangovers with You by Big B & ***** Heads Rock [E]