when I say last year I hit an all time low,
I mean that I spent two hundred and eighty nine days without sunlight,
I’ve never known a rose to grow immersed in eternal night -
auctioned off my heart for the gift of sight,
I wonder how long I’ve lived my life blinded by the rose tinted glass?
false love will have you struggling to distinguish between gold and brass.
I draw out the sequence.
your palms met her flesh,
my reflection in the mirror is reduced to ash.
I feel my heart hit the floor,
blood stains in the carpet - proof that love does not live here anymore
next time just wrap them around my neck,
I get the same hand of cards
out of every single deck.
from love,
suffocating, choking,
that is the only sensation I have come to expect,
you know that better than me,
extinguished every fire set to your trees,
don’t you remember?
she left everything around you to burn,
choked on all the smoke,
still you fixated on all the ember,
if this body was ever not hollow,
I wouldn’t remember.
two hundred and eighty nine days,
I spent treading in the shallow,
moulded my existence out of clay just to fill another persons shadow.

When the cold rain enters
it makes me remember
lifetimes of past Decembers
and their nasty embers.
Each drop a designer
momentary reminder
of a recreational resigner's
unchecked timer.
I am not reborn
in the rain's misty scorn
I see Satan's horns
in rain clouds formed.

Sensory recall
makes me fall
into the needle
of a lifestyle fetal
crying for my mommy
of a ****** haunting
my past life is flaunting
through raindrops upon me
their ripples are bombing
my mentality modeling
of the unguarded godly.

Inclement
in descent
in cement
mixed with saline
so I may dream
maiming Maybelline
makes me made to scream
drowning in memory
separating what's ahead of me
with the possible death of me
after a moment of leveling
water brings devil's wings.

I guess I'm like this forever
mainlined or severed
would've been much better
than stuck in the nether
between order and chaos
mortars of raindrops
show where my aim lost
and the insane cost
of the water in the syringe
raining into my veins
so I cry and I cringe
when it rains all the same.

Go somewhere else where I can see you
Smile
Go somewhere where there's light on the
Leaves
Somewhere where there's the calling of
Geese
Where their clamour floats like plankton through the
Breeze
And you are sitting under the linden
Tree
On the spot where you feel most
Safe
Between two big
Roots
Wearing
Mother's
Coat

They invite you to dwell on nothing and everything at once. Oddities that soften the sounds that surround you and amplify the beat of life in each breath you take. Far from strangers but hidden in plain sight. Indulging your focus through a narrow tunnel view. Dilating your pupils and lifting your skin through spontaneous extraordinary sensory awareness while depriving you the passage of time. A temporal trap in eternity before you snap and walk away.

It started with questions
answers poured out like waterfalls
crashing in tempo, truth flooded our ears

it was met with your gaze
a quiet stare that lit my soul
the fire grew, yearning for more

then, your touch
searching with tenderness
grazing me as if you were dove feathers

what answers were you searching for?

I see the clouds above me,
They're floating in the sky,
I wonder what they see,
And wonder why they cry.

I listen to the fire,
While sitting in its glow,
Not a thing does it require,
But wood for it to grow.

Gently does the breeze,
Whisper to my skin,
I wander if the trees,
Mind about the wind.

I will not shut my eyes,
Wont miss one part of this,
The sun is giving the skies,
A loving goodnight kiss.

This candle is honey and vanilla scented,
But it’s so much more than just some sweet savory smell
It smells like 2:00 am on a Saturday
laying on the carpet with my best friends
Laughing about everything and nothing
Not wanting the night to end
Pumpkin pie smells like a chilly October day back in 2008
When we sat on the couch in front of the fireplace
And everything felt okay
Isn’t it strange how you can travel back in time?
All you need is a dash of cinnamon and nutmeg
And suddenly it’s Christmas 2009 when my heart felt light and everything was fine