New city.
New people.
New places.
New faces.
New adventure.
New me.
I knew new was what I needed.
But the stomach dropping
head spinning
anxiety ridden
fear of crying
mind jumbled
even though
I knew better
made me hesitant of new.

Newspapers and headlines,
all the new is mine
to write my own stories
trials
tribulations
fears
hopes
dreams.
Who knew new
would be so hard
and so easy
all at once?

The train flies
at a seemingly never endless speed,
as my mind races simultaneously
                 along the tracks,
           bobbing and weaving,
                       churning along
as I attempt to discover
which stop I will take,
which place I will make
the home of newfound self identity,
unraveled mysteries.

There's that point when you look back
and all you see is the reflection.
I remember when those cliffs flew by in the rear view
where the red dust kicked up on brand new shoes.
Those coastal waters
crystal blue
the evergreens before me....
Those winding roads that changed me once before
changed me again.
The docks were closed off, as was him.
All those promises...
All the innocence, dead.
Because we are older
we grew farther
he grew bigger
and I was leaving.
Saying goodbye.
When before I was already grieving
I knew it was fleeting.
Those moments covered in snow
footprints covered
no one would ever know.
The path in the sand would blow away
the love in his heart would fade .
One day when I'd love myself I found my way.
One day ill forget that love
there is nothing left to say.
Young love under covers
started off with lies and mistakes.
I was a loose canon
my flaws were larger than life.
My innocence and ignorance
gave me no right,
to be the way I was
but our youthful folly and love
is an alluring drug.
Captivates the soul
but soon drains from your veins.
Then your left alone in the cold... broken and old.
Forgive and forget.
Ill walk away one more time...
with tears in my eyes,
as there is anger on your face.
I've doubt you've found inner peace
I cant hate you.
I just pray for your soul...

Playing by all the rules,
or so it seems,
the out-law fears
nothing and no one
as she
places her backwards cap
atop her
full head of fine hair,
sunshades
hiding her wide
toffee-colored
eyes.

Chewing ******* a piece of
wintergreen gum
like a first baseman
and some chaw,
she grips the steering wheel
as a heavy clap of
bass
emits a thundering chorus
out her rolled-down windows
into the half-empty street.

Brow furrowed,
the out-law ponders her next move,
bobbing and weaving through
one-way roads;
the destination she knows,
but the route is more
a riddle
yet to be solved.

The light air
and brilliant rays of sun
that sneak behind
puffy white clouds,
the out-law senses
some promise
from the
universe.

Lungs still filled
with
smoky wisdom,
she reflects intricately
on the life
lived by she
in the past few months,
gaining insight
into her own
optimistically
curious
soul.

She slurps
her Diet Coke
thirstily
as her cottony mouth
forms words and phrases
she one day
wishes to utter.

Time and space,
they are dear friends of the
out-law,
so drive she does
down that
long
windy
road,
twisting and turning
on the beacon of self-discovery
and hope.
And
love.

The out-law
watches the sky,
fascinated
by the rich colors
the sun paints
as it falls into a state
of serenity,
and
the out-law feels so serene.

Leaving comfortability
and safety behind,
the out-law relishes
in the excitement of the unknown,
getting high off
the fumes
of the uncertainty
that looms.

On she drives.