The fences are on fire
Can’t you feel it?
The bonfire in your nostrils
Time standing by your side,
Whispering “quickly, love” and,
In the distance, lips part and quake
They—you—(what difference will it make?)
Tremble like a lake of sulfur,
A lake of liquified lavender
But darker—wine, yes, wine in its cellar
Can’t you feel it?
The ashes pasting themselves over the moon
The midnight sun, the falling stars at noon
Time grabs your hand this time,
“No more waiting, my love” or maybe
It was “No more hating, my love”
You clench your free hand
You bite your lip
You drench you drench you drench
Your body in acid in courage in rage
Can’t you feel it?

The fences are on fire
And love’s coming for you

My body is safe. It is safe to relax.

I am here.
It's ok, breath.
I love you.
I know, it's difficult sometimes.
We fall into patterns of wanting to make everyone around us happy. But ourselves.
We sometimes need time to see and realize this.
To recognize what is happening.
We are learning.
It's good you show yourself as you are.
I have your back.
You don't need to control anything or anyone.
Just be and relax.
Just be yourself.
You are safe here.
I am always here for you.

Drastically decided to make getting up at 7 am my new routine.
Self-compassion made me agree on giving myself 7 days to reach this.
Self-compassion also stopped me from planning any further agreements so that I can focus on only one for now.
This feels not overwhelming for a change.
This feels like I am giving myself the time I deserve.
Thank you, self-compassion!

She who spoke with no love,
waited on external acceptance
That, it never came

She who found comfort in a shell
Delicate and golden, but unrecognizable
to a polluted mind

She who bowed to insecurity
Scoured and torched by internal pain
She no longer seeks to remain

And she no longer will.

As soon as we are born
We’re judged by the size of our bodies
We are told to fit in
So we may as well settle in
But self-doubt is like a declaration of war
Once we adhere to society’s norms
Within our own flesh
Self-doubt creeps in
And strangles self-love in its sleep
There is turmoil beneath my skin
I no longer want a touch of hatred
Upon my flawed skin
I want to love myself
Without feeling delusional
I want to be like wildflowers
They don't care where they grow
And the flowers that I know
In the fields where I grew
Were content to be lost in the crowd
I intend to grow
With or without water
And bloom
With or without sunlight
And raise above cracks of the earth in a sunbeam
I will flourish
In the way
I’ve always supposed to
The wildflower is a figment of my own imagination
I wish I could say that
I am to become one
To have the ability
To grow
Even under the harshest of conditions
Leaving my old self behind
Blooming out of nowhere
In a land far from the madding crowd
But it is never that simple
This is a war I intend on winning
I will not let self-doubt
Limit my potential
And get away with destroying all that I cherish
I will change and so the parts of me
That I lose
Will always find a way to grow back
I may bend and break
But we don’t always heal
Healing requires time, and time is fickle
Pieces of me that were once dismantled
Begins to unite themselves
Inside my skeleton
My failures haunt me from dusk till dawn
Yet I fend them off as often as I can