I have been treated like a game and people ask me why.
I just want to sit on the sidelines.
Do you know what it’s like to be looked at as a number,
As flesh, as something that can fulfill someone’s temporary
Needs when all you want is so to be wanted as a person?

You start to believe it. You start to believe you can only
Be beautiful in the context of one night, one picture.
You start to believe you are as shallow as the compliments
That are copied to you and several other people.
You start to believe you have to fight for someone’s
Attention when you should never have to do that.
You start to believe that only certain clothes
make you attractive because when you’re wearing them, they notice you.
You start to believe your opinions don’t matter because
they don’t want to hear them.
You start to believe you will have to settle for an empty
day or week of flirting just so you can feel something.
You start to believe that there isn’t such a thing as love
because no one seems to be looking for it.
At least that’s what I started to believe.
I have lost sleep over people who didn’t even
consider me a loss. I have waited for texts and
phone calls that were never coming.
I have romanticized words and gestures that
were far from romantic.
I have fallen for people only to realize it was
because they pushed me. I have broken my own
heart on the behalf of other people.
I have laid right next to people who might as well
have been 100 miles away.
I have believed words that were empty.
I have let all of this happen in an attempt to find love,
and I have found the opposite.
   Maybe there are people who don’t need or want something
that lasts, something that’s real, something that you want to
share in the morning light and not hide in the night.
Maybe there are people who don’t realize the games they
play have losers. Maybe there are people need nothing
more than a night or a weekend or repeated words.
And I guess all of that is okay. But I am not like that,
and that’s okay.

I want someone that I can fall asleep next to with
a smile on my face. I want someone who doesn’t make
me wait and wonder. I want words that are spoken
just for me. I want to fall for someone with the promise
that they will catch me. I want someone who tries not to
hurt me and cares if they do. I want someone who feels like
they’re right next to me even when they are 100 miles away.
I want to feel something that even scratches
the surface of what love is.
No matter where I go or what I do, you'll always be the one person I hope I can one day come home to.

Dis oras na ng gabi ngunit ikaw pa din
Ang bukod tanging laman ng aking isipan
Patawad na kung puro siya na lang lagi ang alam
Ng aking mga kwento.
Hindi ko kasi mapigilan mag buhos ng aking hinaing
Dahil alam mo hanggang ngayon kasi tandang-tanda ko pa din
Ang araw at oras kung kailan mo ako iniwan.

Anong gagawin ko sa mga salitang iniwan mo
Isa nga lang ba akong pangalan sa buhay mo?
Ano ba ang naging parte ko sa'yo?
Iba’t ibang tanong ang bumabagabag sa akin
Pero kung alam ko lang na sa ganito tayo hahantong;
Matagal ko nang pinatay ang natitirang posibilidad
Sa akin isipan na may mundo para lang sa ating dalawa.

Alam mo ba gabi gabi kong binabalikan ang
Matatamis nating alaala pero pilit ko din
Pinapaalala sa aking sarili na
‘’Itigil mo na ‘to’’
''Tama na 'to''
Gumising kana sa totoong estado ng buhay mo.
Maawa ka naman sa sarili mo.
Ikaw ang naging punot dulot nang gabi gabi kong
Pag-pupuyat hindi mo ma-itatanong pero walang araw
Na lumipas na hindi ako nagiging tambay sa'yong mga
Social media accounts.
Nagmamasid sa bawat post at update mo at tinatanong
Sa aking sarili ''Bakit nga ba ang manhid mo?''

Dahil hanggang ngayon
May kumakatok pa din sa puso ko umaasa na
Pwede pa.
Pwede pang ipiglaban.
Kahit matagal man ang abutin natin.
Ako'y handang maghintay.
Kahit mag muka na tayong gurang.
Okay lang.
Handa akong tiisin.

Pero alam mo ba nakakapagod din palang
Makipaglaro sa taong ayaw magpaawat
Handa na akong sumuko kahit noon pa naman
Alam kong malabo na maging tayo;
Malabo mapasa-akin ang puso mo.

Ayoko ng makipagsiksikan sa Evacuation Center
Pilit ka magbubuwis ng buhay mo para sa taong ‘yon
Panahon na para lisanin ang delubyo na ito
Hindi na ako dapat mag tagal baka
Pati ang aking sarili ay iwanan din ako.

Ayan na naman ang araw,
ngunit heto ako gising na
gising.

Ayan na naman ang araw,
sinasabing itigil ko na itong
kahibangan ko para sa'yo.

Ayan na naman ang araw,
nagsisilbing gabay na wala
kana sa akin.

As I search for you,
I slowly forgotten every inch
Of what made me as whole.

As I search for you,
I have to fight the urge of
Being with you and having
The freedom to myself.

As I search for your name,
I cannot seem to grasp the idea
That what ''you and i'' once had
Is nothing but a sheer memory.

As I search for your name through every accounts,
I still get butterflies in my stomach
I still smile and hoping that there's a slight chance
For us to become as one again.

As I search for peace within this chaotic world,
I still carry you with me.