I watched as my depression took control of my body
It made me push away everybody
Until I was left with nobody
But me.
I thought to myself “how could this be?”
This wasn’t me.
I was never one to be unhappy.

I gave up
I let myself be
I fell back from the crowd until I was the only thing I could see.
I faked my bright charisma so that no one would see that depression found me.

I knew that they couldn't possibly understand
why I was taking this climb
knew that in a thousand words
I could not explain to them
what would possess someone to jump
to want to fall
so I left no note
and I began my climb
I was intent
oh, so intent
and ready to throw myself to the murky water below
only
when I found myself at the top
I realized I like it that way
being on top
I didn't want to become
another fallen angel
a meteor hurtling towards the earth
no intent but to reach
the ground
to let gravity pull me down
I didn't want to let gravity pull me down
I didn't want to let anything pull me down
I wanted to stay there forever
stuck in that moment
alone, but content
so, so above
I don't need to jump
I am already flying

You found my secret talents that I hide
Every one of them I make sure is applied
You make me feel so alive
After all our desire can't be denied
I enjoy the pleasure you provide
Being on top, I love the ride
Ooohhh, to feel the power of the slip and slide
Loving the feeling of you inside
Our bodies mesh as we collide
As in and out you gently glide
No position do we leave untried
Until at last, at a ****** we arrive
We hold on to each other for dear life, as the passion slowly subsides

Use me,
Abuse me,
Don't look at me,
Just through me.
Force yourself
Ontop of me,
Then let me grieve
Quietly.
I lay there crying,
Soaking the sheet,
The uneasiness within me
Starts to repeat.
Hit me,
Quit me,
Don't love me,
Don't lust me.
Break me,
Shake me,
For God's sake,
Heartbreak me.
Tell me when it's over,
Tell me when you're done,
And as long as I'm crying,
Just know that you have won.
My body's weak;
You make it weaker,
But you keep taking,
You push deeper.
And then at once,
You're up and gone,
They ask for a description,
I tell them, *"the Devil's spawn".

It's hard when you use to feel way at the top
Like you would never stop
Every one telling you how good you've done
Making you feel like you were number one
But in the blink of an eye you go from one to done
zero, zip, nada, none
You thought you'd never fail the ones you loved
But we all make mistakes
Like breakups and makeups
Sometimes it may be better to just give up
But how many mess up will it take you to realize your done
Never being number one.