It's 2 in the morning.
You're lying in bed, on FaceTime with a man named John.
He was released from prison two weeks ago.
In a month, he'll be in rehab again.
But you don't know that yet.

The screen freezes as you get a call from me.
You ask him to wait as you let my call ring, ignored.
He knows I exist.
I have no clue he exists.
As far as I know, you're asleep.

Meanwhile, I'm sitting at the edge of my bed, 3,000 miles away.
I've just received the news that my cousin is dead.
I'm sobbing, trying to get a hold of you somehow.
Desperate to have someone I can talk to about this,
But you're the only one.

The call stops ringing, and you go back to FaceTiming him.
You prop your phone up on a pillow and let him watch you take your shirt off.
No bra underneath.
You show him how well you can ******* the toy I bought you.
You twist around and show him your naked ***, the *******.

The two of you ******* together.
I interrupt unknowingly every fifteen minutes, needing you.
You swipe my calls away and do what he asks you to do.
You both ***, then talk for hours.
I sob at the edge of my bed, begging you to answer in another voicemail.

I really can't stop thinking about you.
You and your thighs and your hips and your *** and i want you in my bed so bad it physically hurts to think about you with someone else.
You, who everyone fawns over and who everyone adores, face down buried in pillows as you forget what your own name is.
*&$^@ !#&$^&/
I really can't stop thinking about you.
You, with your amazing personality and you're an angel to everyone but me.
You, who I wake up to dreams about you riding me and wanting me and screaming my name for me for me for me for me.
I really can't stop thinking about you.
You, who's good at everything, who's beyond talented and dedicated,
I really think you have an amazing future ahead.
But for right now, I really can't stop thinking about you in my bed.

i want to feel your lips on mine
your teeth on my neck
your hands in my hair
or on my sides
you wrapping yourself around me
gentle but firm words whispered in my ear
hear your gasp as we make contact

Take me higher than I’ve ever been
Show me what it’s like to love someone’s body
As much as their being
Prove to me that passion exists
In the places we least expect

I want to feel the syncopation of your heartbeat as it’s pressed against my bare chest
Lost in the rhythm of my moans
I’m needing to feel every inch of your skin on mine
Your hot breath against my neck
Your scattered sighs in my ear
Your teeth grazing my thigh in ecstasy

I want your tongue to tease my *******
Hardening them in between licks
As I beg you not to stop
Drunk on euphoria

My hands exploring the indentation of your hip bones,
Carefully caressing the line of your waistband
Feeling your breath shorten
Anticipating my next move

Create a fire between my thighs
Let it burn you as I yearn for you
Heat sweating off of your body onto mine
Like dew in the early morning
Like a warm summer shower
That you can’t help but dance in

The cadence of our bodies moving as one
Our limbs contorting in positions I didn’t know existed
The curves of my body made to fit yours so perfectly
Ravishing the spiral of your movements
Wishing this could last just a little longer

You say you want to unravel me
Unravel my knots that others have been too afraid to attempt
Like necklace chains discarded for being too tangled
Accept the parts of me that have been neglected
My maze of emotions and ******* up ideas of intimacy
Show me that I don’t need *** to know love

Now, don’t get me wrong
I lay awake and touch myself at night to the very thought of you
******* my body the way that you **** my brain
The highest dose of an aphrodisiac that I have encountered
Deflowering my garden of these unspoken thoughts
And planting a seed of fulfillment inside of me
Nourish it with mental stimulation
Undivided attention
I want you to make me bloom

My sweet nectar filling your mouth
Breathing life into your lungs like
A butterfly hatching from its cocoon
Metamorphosis
Whatever this is I don’t want it to stop

I feel every inch
Of your interest
Examining the parts of me
That I usually keep hidden
Chained in a prison of love
Bound by shackles of exaltation
This invasion is much deeper than just my body

Show me that I’m worthy
Before I beg for mercy
At the sound of your belt
At the stinging of your palm
That your harm is caused
With love, first
And only reinforced through my temple

Enter my dwelling
Thankful
Bow before my lady garden
And watch the seeds that you have planted
Blossom
But remember not to pluck my flowers
For when you do so,
I cease to be what you love
And love is about appreciation, not possession

he touched me
and my knees felt weak
my mind went blank
and I didn't know how to speak

I hear him every night in my dreams
whispering words I don’t understand
the way his sentence rolls off his tongue
leaves me translating his body language
because it’s the only language we know to speak

I saw your beauty,
and I could not breathe.
speechless, breathless, helpless—
air suctioned right from my lungs,
dry and barren, only my eyes were alive.
I relish in the sight before me,
worshipping with sinful habits.
I fell to my knees,
peering up through my lashes to meet your gaze.
my mouth watered and my body trembled,
begging with my eyes to have my wish granted.
you knew all that I wanted,
and all I wanted you gave to me.

We vow on different creeds
Though we fulfill the same needs
We trot in different colours
When all we want is throw away all covers
You vie to be free
But all I want is you inside me