Try harder, so I do Still reaching for the fix My mind cannot bear another year of six It’s in his hands so what will I do He yells and yells louder ... I’m waiting I’m waiting I’m waiting on you Fix this and do that Can you ever just, STOP! Hours, minutes, seconds on your clock The label of duty of a wife on Shabbat Your intent was evil and always with plot Spread your legs! Shut your mouth! Let my birthright inside you Alone in my mind But I had to abide you I cried ‘till you finished Left burned and diminished Curled up Dead inside with nothing left to give Yet, you demanded more if I wanted to live These unspoken vows How could I have known I wasn’t a Jew How could I be ****** You are nothing without me I will take as I please Your screams are useless as I enter with ease My distain was certain and I fought to withhold I could not bear your touch and prayed to die cold Your punishment loomed always You made me guess “when” I hid in our closets pulling my soul further in You were never worthy to be at my feet You serve as my slave and you are now mine to keep As I grew out my armor I hoped it could repel Your disgusting hands You inadequate male For your spirit was cold It was mean It was old You were born self-entitled Adorned self-proclaimed gold Even cancer can’t change you Not even a bit Still abusive as ever Still living to spit Your host is so evil The most rotten apple from her tree I wish her the deepest of pains for creating the abuser you'd be The sounds of her mouth All the stink of her too Inappropriate Loud A pick-and-choose Jew You’re chosen you say So, what, you don’t need to abide By the laws of, The Book Alas, The Book, has two sides You choose what you want and ignore all the rest Your go to MO You've both mastered it best Still dutifully married Our life torn apart wide Clenching me tightly Prancing around with your pride But as I grow older, I begin to whither and fade I still deal with my devil to whom I’m enslaved When will he go? I’ve asked and begged why I’ll ask for forgiveness when I can no longer cry Now finally, I stand over you Lifeless and cold Your soul still infested with hatred and mold My last mitzvah of dirt I’ll gladly shovel with ease To finally breath that longed moment of peace Peace from your self-hatred Jealous of me ever more I sigh the deepest breath as dirt covers your door Cry one last time … Impossible I have no more tears You stole them from me when you ***** me for years
You ****** out my innocence with your maniacal way Twisted my mind to get me to stay I believed you which distanced me from reality The truth you spew is dripping in brutality I listened and adjusted, everyday, more and more I didn’t realize doing so was opening the door To new demons, ones that taught me not to trust Now I can’t have fun anymore, I can’t even feel lust We haven’t talked in two years, but I still jump through hoops My brain is sick and dark, it’s stuck in destructive loops It’s really sad what I lost, the part of me that could surrender I can’t open up my heart, it scares me to be tender I push people away because i don’t want them to be like you I wish we never crossed paths, I don’t know what to do
Some people show us the darkest part of the human condition and that darkness can scar the innocent for a lifetime.
The narcissist cried abuse in shame of committing abuse The narcissist cried depression when he's called out on his laziness The narcissist insults, but can't take the truth The narcissist appears to have strength by deliberately picking his supply, but really is the weakest man alive The narcissist stare... when someone has the guts to call him out is a deadly pair, like Jesus and Lucifer But the narcissist stare when he is picking his battle is all that is there Because if someone were to pick apart his ways and throw them in his face he'll run away
The narc held on to HIS truth although others knew THE truth because he has too much e.g.o to admit his wrongs
The narcissist provokes those who can't defend themselves The narcissist can't control the world so he hates life itself