Two
soulmates become strangers—
and that is how
their fairytale ends.

I want to be seen,
but you're seeing me,
so I hide.

I want to be held,
but you're holding me,
and I fold.

I want to be heard,
but you're hearing me,
so I silence.

I want to be loved,
but you're loving me,
and I run.

Half an orange
to help me sleep
to help me not think of you
to help me shut down my brain
like a laptop that's been left on
for two weeks straight

I break an orange pill in half
tonight I hope it's all I need
to help me sleep
I toss it back
I hope it doesn't get caught
in the corners of my throat
like all the words
I cannot say out loud

I take pills
because there's not enough wine
to drown out my thinking
not enough meditation
to quiet the constant hum

I long for a day
when sleep did not escape me
the night before

Before you gave me a home,
you gave me life.

I was born to you, but
before you gave me the world
you gave me a home,
within you.

There I lived,
within and then without you—
though you are never far from me.

I carry you within myself
as you once carried me.
I carry you within my heart
always.

I would be a part of nothing today
had I not once been a part of you.