casually crashing in your arms
as i feel my head go light.
your heart which only warms
when it's me in your sight.

we are gathered here today to ignore the empty seat next to me
i tell myself this is how it’s meant to be
laughter passes between the four of us, we’re all reminiscing
all except the one that’s missing
isn’t this peace more than enough?
is anyone going to call us on our bluff?
the vacant chair looms in the dark and my brother’s question brings it to life
                    why did you ask for a table of five?
suddenly I feel small in my seat
i succumb to a tense smile, simple and bittersweet
                     a force of habit, my fault
one by one, we halt
and stare
at the bare
and lonely chair.

Time is the thing, come,

take me, what am I doing –


here, where you are not!

I had to let go once again.
Where the only thing I ever wanted was to stay.
My heart has never felt so heavy
A looming fear thinking if I will ever see you again.
If I will be able to feel complete again
Dear heart, I left you miles away.
Surrounded by a lull of emptiness.
It's all memories now.
The moments of togetherness
The warm hugs n tender kisses
And the hardest goodbye

It hangs in the air. It’s stifling. We carry it in our hearts. It’s heavy.
We grieve the missing pieces, but also the empty spaces they belong to.
The parts of ourselves with muscle memories that no longer have a purpose. Parts of ourselves that become inaccessible, and try as we might, we can never enter that space again.

How do you hold a hand that isn’t there?