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ghost queen Oct 2018
I loved you
I hate you
I cherished you
I despise you

I believed you
I doubt you
I trusted you
I fear you

We laughed
I cry
We whispered
I shout

We bonded
I grieve
We lived the lie
I haunt the ruins
ghost queen Oct 2018
i know
i need
to let go

I am not ready
to release you

I endure
the pain
suffer
the anguish

i am
a *******
wishing
forgiveness

i want
to be free
of my
anguish

i should
let go
or be
dragged
ghost queen Nov 2018
winter
is here
cold
and gray

there is
no shelter
from the freezing
drizzling
rain

i want to come home
sit by the hearth
be protected
made warm

i crave
to be loved
held  
told
everything will be ok

hold me
in your arms
protect me
from the world
i need to feel safe

hug me
tight
i want to hear
your heart
beat

press me
near
let me
feel
your body
heat

i was a fool
to turn
to run
away

i need
your love
look into
my eyes
let me
whisper, i surrender
ghost queen Oct 2018
Our first date at Rise
Holding your hand at the Firehouse Theater
Eating bagels you brought back from Montreal
Having lunch at Salata
Going to the Arboretum
The way you peeked out children’s house
Cuddling on the couch
Watching Game of Thrones
When you fell asleep in my arms
Drinking Amaretto Sours
When you would be silly
The sound of your voice
The maraschino cherry stem  you tied with your tongue
The Forget Me Not Flower Kit you gave me
Exchanging texts
The sound of incoming WhatsApp messages
Diner at Howard Wangs
You wearing bunny ears during Easter
36-28-41
When you posed for me
Your blues eyes looking up at me
Seeing your smile
Touching your lips
The way you smell
The secrets you would tell
Showing how you care
Hugging me tight
Letting me take care of you
When you cook Arepas
The gluten free Clafouti
The time you had the flu
Wearing Calvin Klein underwater
Your dainty feet  
Your goddess like figure
Your cute accent
Typing in the door bell code
Hearing you answer
The emoji of puppy heart kitten

Knowing you are my Bijou
Calling you Minou
ghost queen Oct 2018
enigmatic, exotic
alone, deep in the jungle
fierce, afraid
passion, love in her eyes

to hold her, is to lose her
to have her, is to **** her
ephemeral, a ghost
a dream, a fantasy
never to be had
Written to accompany photos of a flower https://flic.kr/s/aHsmiTGp93
ghost queen Nov 2018
once
there was hope
now
there is none

forgotten
are the dreams
lost
what might have been

i live
but die
a thousand
deaths

where is
the happiness
the one
you promised

what did
i do
why did
you leave

you were
my sun
you were
my reason

what sin
was committed
you banished
abandoned
me
into the cold

how
do i live
with this
agony
ghost queen Nov 2018
From the moment I saw you
I was in love with you.

I watched as you floated around the room, like a butterfly collecting nectar, your eyes sparkled and glittered like thousands of facets off a diamond

As you moved, your hair undulated back and forth as if caught in a gentle ocean current

Your smile was magnificent, powerful, and awe inspiring, like the rising of the sun over a steamy exotic jungle

Across the room, you turned, our eyes met, and I felt a jolt, I had been harpooned through the heart. I could have fallen to my knees

I went from numb, stunned, to being on fire, with love and lust. I wanted you, wanted you so much. I could feel my primal urges and visceral needs rising and overwhelming me

I wanted to protect and provide for you, to build a house and hearth, to keep you safe and warm, a place to have and raise children, together

I wanted to hold you, feel you, in my arms, your head lying on my chest, snuggling, cuddling, purring like a newborn kitten

I wanted to look eternally in your crystal blue eyes, mesmerized at their depth and breath, like a endless desert sky

I wanted to kiss your lips, red, full, and moist like a rose on a French summer morn

You are a bijou, a jewel, like no other, rare, priceless, and precious, a gift to gods and men alike

I am grateful, for our brief, intense, and tumultuous love, like a shooting star across a darkening evening sky

— The End —