I grew out my beard.
I grew out my stomach.
My ears ring randomly.  
My eyes see things differently.
I speak or say less.  I move in silence.
I sleep in when I want.
I haven't touched razors since my return
nor rifles since the field ops.
I've grown in maturity mentally.
I've grown insensitive verbally.
I've grown to miss the uniform
and pride of belonging in a brotherhood;
I miss my extended family.
I miss the people, not the troubles.
I miss the gym, where others alike
flexed invisible muscles.
My days once had routine,
pattern, structure and rhythm.
Weekends full of workouts, worship, and beer.
Weeks full of work, blood, sweat, and tears.
I've grown in experience.
I've regained freedom as a civilian.
But the transition has been a grueling process.
Yet, I've grown to be grateful nonetheless,
as not everyone gets to go back "home" ...
(remember the fallen) ...
However, if I'm honest, I don't think there's ever
an actual adjustment...
[I'm growing]

I am not just a person in
a uniform, I am a Soldier.
Every time I arise,  I obey;
Each time she calls, I step up
To defend her freedom,
To restore her home of peace
I arise,  I obey, I soldier on.

Into the forest of her terrors
I charge, not without fear for that
which is mine but with love and strength
and faith, I March. Defending the labour
of heroes past, I march; fighting
for dreams of her children bright-
the  future she deserves.

I arise, I obey, I soldier on.
In the army I serve Nigeria,  my
Country with heart, might and spine.
Though a thousand times I have fallen,
bits and pieces of me, lost to her darkness,
still I obey, knowing it may be my last. I arise,
leaving my family and friends behind.

I obey your call of duty. My service and loyalty
I pack on with my combat gear, that you may live
to see yet another day, to feel yet another ray of
light on your face. I am not just a person in a uniform.
I am your Soldier,  the Nigerian Soldier,
Ambushed and slaughtered in 40s, 70s and 100
for lack of resources.

Bless me O Nigeria as I arise and obey
Send me to your enemies with arsenals
and might to match the fire in my eyes.
As opposed to the massacres of me, let
the headlines read of our gallant victory
For my victory is yours over those who
threaten our unity.

I am not just a person in a uniform.
I am your Soldier
Do not let my bravery dissipate to stupidity
For I rise,  I obey,  I soldier on
still.

©Belema .S.  Ekine
©belemascribbles

At this moment I am happy
I never want you to leave
I know we are different
But thats just another ****
It’s been 6 months
That you’ve been away
The people of this country needs you right?
Or at least that’s what they say

I don’t know if I can handle this but for you I always will
I’m sad but I’ll be strong for you
These are just tears
I wonder how many people cry for you
or if they ever will
I mean YOU ARE fighting for them
Wouldn’t they care?
“Baby don’t leave me”
I don’t know if I can bare
“Baby don’t worry, I only have 6 more years”

I keep on tripping
How am I to carry on
If I can't carry myself
With pride and confidence
How can I be this person
That everyone expects
When I can't carry
The weight of myself
The weight that came
After he was gone
A box hand delivered
It has a set of tags
His name inscribed
We all had set certain people
These were the ones
We cared and cried for
Soldiers
Our soldiers
The ones who didn't come home