Put my head down when I walk in a house full of mirrors
I don't need to see the man who has single handily destroy my appearance
This personality disorder got me stuck in lack of control
I'll warm up to you at first but end our relationship real cold
A monster..
Maybe I'm stuck inside the belly of the beast
Societies ignorance is thanksgiving
And everyday I feast
Promise things won't be weird if ever again you and I meet
I never knew what love was thought that concept all but deceased
...
I'm an idea and nothing more when it comes to women
Intrigued by my persona and try to go deep within him
Only to drown
My soul has become deeper than the ocean
I swear I'm mature enough at 27
But my childish actions leave me vulnerable and wide open
I can blame it on my father or that the fact that I may never take responsibility
Two paths to choose
And I constantly walk the road of hostility
Take the knife outta my mind
My cut throat thoughts are hurting all my encounters
Need to medicate my brain but not the ****t you get over the counter
Y'all see a smile all the time and I'll continue to show you positive emotions
Always had to be strongest and show enforced devotion
Lead by example - too many eyes are watching
My legs are way past exhaustion everyday I feel like stopping
It's like I'm trying to sell myself to the world but ain't nobody shopping
Prove and show and show and tell
Maybe I don't put in enough
Your interior is too soft for your outside to be so tough
You balanced on a beam trying to outweigh death
You can't truly understand life until you experience some sorta loss of breath
The answers all over the walls
But you still fail every test
Tryna to clean up your act but still remain a mess
The perception looks good and people see you going like you got it all together
But the sunshine they seeing doesn't change your stormy weather
This a mind over matter
You're the only one who can change your own disaster
Take all of your flaws and serve it up on a platter
No one will come for seconds
No one wants to feed into ya pity
Talk is cheap - and your words barely cost a penny
Turn life into a 180 and flip the script on yourself
Because at the end of the day when you fall
You're the only one who can pick up yaself.
Don't look too deep into my rhymes
For metaphorically I've committed a crime
Place my thoughts behind bars
And let my wisdom do time
Dear lord, can you let me go on bond and release?
The melody of my new tune finally has me at peace
Or do feel I'm another lying convict that's trying to lie and deceive?
You can't be outspoken in a world that's morally broken
A dime for your concepts and quarter for your emotion
Been told my talent oozes out but the cut is closing
Maybe I'm afraid of the spotlight & what they'll think
Maybe I don't know what door to open
Maybe something has happen to me...
Y'all keep looking at the pictures in hopes that I'll never change
That I'll grow with my experiences and start to write a whole new page
That he'll remain enjoyable- loving and honorable to his name
Promised myself I was okay - but I know I'll never be the same.

Your mosaic soul shows cracks, shattered glass,
jagged on the edges
and red where your pricked your fingers trying to pick them up.
I see pieces putting together something greater.
your water color freckles,
splattered over pale skin.
I'd compare them to the constellations, but those are just shapes
and the path im tracing with my fingers tells me much more.
there's no dawn in your golden brown eyes,
the sun I see shinning through stained glass is too bright to be just barely rising.
you are reckless laughter caught in a shutter
a frame by frame moment of the last trickles of childhood
blackness blurring the edges around you
from being left too long in the developer.
your lips feel like oil pants,
sliding over mine like a blank canvas,
I can still see the masterpiece you made me into.
I can still feel the whips of graphite tears pouring down your cheeks as you let all of the art you hold inside.

We're passengers of two different ships- going to different places, but everytime we meet on port I just can't help but want to follow you instead.