I am in love
with so much mess
it will take so many years
to sit and contemplate
on why my
heart beats
so fast
at the presence
of chaos

I feel very stuck currently
Between the two different mes
The one that wants to love you
And the other to be free

I wonder if anyone will actually see me. The real me. The serious me. The weird me. The rude me. The nice me. The me that everyone says that's beautiful apparently. I wonder if anyone will see through that fake me thing I use everyday. The fake me where I don't know what to say, the one that's always quiet because of what she thinks inside, the one that never really shares her opinions or feelings to the world when she wishes she could,  the one that hides because of the fear of being judged.
I wonder if anyone saw through my fake me. But I'm sure no one did. Otherwise I probably wouldn't hate me.