I'm so ******* sorry
I'm like this
I don't mean to hurt you
But I'm scared of you hurting yourself
I know what the research says
But I'm still scared
I value our friendship
I don't know why
But I can't lose you
Why are you so important to me
I'm trying to sort out all the reasons
But I just can't seem to find a reasonable answer
My mind is eating me alive
Without those meds of mine
I'm dying inside
I shouldn't rely on it but it's the only thing keeping me sane
Without them, my mind and my brain start to hate me
Make me think cruel thoughts and snap at others who I love
I'm sorry I'm like this
But please,
Just don't ******* go.
I can't lose another.

Medicate me, I’m a mess.
A ****** up forgotten trash bag.
Smiles begin to sag,
And I feel less like myself.
Trapped in an everlasting personal Hell.
My life has always been a scale
Of playing it safe and false alarms.
I gave myself scars to prove
Pain on the outside doesn’t match up
With what I feel inside.
Disgusting depression degrading me still
Fill me up with a happy pill.
Don’t spiral me downward,
Sustain me with sweet serotonin.
I want to feel mania
Wash over me.
Artificially make me happy,
I am your robot to program now.
No longer to live of my own volition.
A pill can save me,
Less likely to be stuck with
Worthless self-pity.
Prozac, Lexapro; other reuptake
Suppressants.
I am coming to love antidepressants.
A junior ***** to be;
Pop these drugs,
Be set free.
Ironic, isn’t it?
Jail cells made from
Prescription bottles
Are supposed to liberate me
From constant sadness.
But, how can that be?
With a chemical to rely on,
I am not actually free.
I am doomed.
I am crazy.
This is who I am.
I will never be normal.
Just a little longer,
I’ll be fine when life kills.
Guess I’ll **** down more happy pills.

I'll make your words my playlist...
and I'll play them over and over again

I'll put them on repeat...
so I am reminded that I have a friend

It is medicine to my ears...
No remix or night core modification could compare

The music that motivates my heart to keep dancing...
The beat that makes my heart keep throbbing... to show that I care

I'll make your words my playlist...
and your sentences my harmony to my melody.

No billion dollar offer could make me sell your albums...
Because you sang each word... to me... and for me... so heavenly...

Let me make your words my Playlist... and I swear...

I'll embrace and believe every word... every whisper... every breath... never to be on-air...

We're in hell
Can't you tell?
No you can't
You only listen to the teller
All other voices are drowned
Because he's a yeller
For the useless things we're bound
That fill up our cellar
And our living room turns into a dying room
When the seller is the jailer
And salvation comes from tailors
Who can cover up the pain inside
With all the comfy clothes we buy

Money is the blood of our society
It's circulation provides oxygen
But we spill money into spilling blood
And we're funneled into killing love
So we can concern ourselves
With people not getting things they don't deserve
Rather than people getting what they need
Our blood starts clotting
In the fortunate arteries
As the rest of our body goes numb
It seeks medicine for healing
And drugs become our autoimmune disease
Redistributing blood to the suffocated areas
An unfortunate recompensing for injustice
When the persecutors
Become the prosecuted
Lives are exploded
Like Afghan villages
Lives can grow back
Like poppy fields

That's the score
And it makes me want to score
Until ****** drips from every pore
And ******* fills me to the core
I could just live at the liquor store
Where benzos are my father
And **** my mother
So I can ignore the death of my brother
My family is in trouble
Our society is in rubble