it’s
cutting your hair
and packing your bags,
it’s drinking champagne
in your best pair of jeans.
it’s
growing out bangs,
unbuttoning shirts –
to think yours had been closed up to the
throat, all these years –
and everything, all white.
it’s
sunburned noses
and no makeup, it’s
less backward glances
and more plans
for the future.
it’s holding a conversation
and making eye contact,
it’s meeting a man
and letting your feet
grow roots.
it’s
more music, less running,
more danger, and more safety,
and it’s
finally, having a taste
for the classics.

Every year I get older,
always marked by the same date,
but this year I'm feeling colder,
lacking heat even with my hate.

Every year I get older,
I'll be dead in years by this rate,
and there's so much weight on each shoulder,
have I just shown up to life too late?

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to,
we've got no social games, so what else would I do?
It's my party and I'll die if I want to,
"It's all downhill from here" oh god, was that true.

You know it's just my mannerism,
to have an annual aneurysm.
You know I was never one for optimism,
so here's my annual aneurysm.

Every year I get older,
that's just humans fault and fate,
and we all get bitter and bolder,
well, maybe that's up for debate.

You know it's just my mannerism,
to have an annual aneurysm.
I was never good at criticism,
so here's my annual aneurysm.

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to,
tears change my eyes from green to blue.
It's my party and I'll die if I want to,
just 'cause I'm growing doesn't mean that I grew.

What does being petty do for you?
Is it just a coping mechanism to help you get through?
Does it help you mask the truth?
Even though you try to hide what it really is, you knew.
So from this moment forward, what do you do?

The way I see it, you have two options:

You can sit back and let the toxins sink deep inside your self conscious as you go over your losses until you feel nauseous

Or you can take it on the cheek, accept defeat and keep on moving with that last ounce of dignity that lives from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet

You could hit the book and write out an entire dissertation that honestly gives a one sided explanation of the creation of your situation.
The status gets posted for your audience
But that post wasn't for them, it's obvious

It was personally for you because you felt that you finally found a person that you can put your faith into.  But , they took that trust and threw it out to the dogs for them to chew

Being petty doesn't stop the pain, posting it on social media just covers your hurt up like a temporary bandaid
To truly get over the shame , stop placing blame,

Show that individual that you can be the bigger adult
Quit with pettiness, cut out those insults

You have outgrown it,

it no longer fits you.

Old ideologies wither up, like too small shoes.

No one's there to hold your hand,

because you know better now.

Got the blues because those growing pains are starting to become too powerful to ignore.

Some truly do take longer, but you've been lying to yourself all week, all month, all year..

The procrastination you used to slide on doesn't fit anymore.  

The self-doubt that you once tried pulling on over your head, now causes friction against your skin.

The blanket of these familiar things no longer keep you warm; for you have evolved above and outgrown them all.

Your fire now burns too bright. You can not douse the flames in mediocrity.

It is time to grow up.



-Martine Beauvais

We try
very hard
to be children.

Never forget
The lines in my face
Are no disgrace
They speak of a place
You haven’t been yet.

And remember too
The gray in my hair
Is a tale of somewhere;
Tales I can share
That might help guide you.

The frequent bend
In each of my knees
Is on someone who sees
The future as eminent
And the past as a friend.

And my sight now is new;
It’s harder for me
To correctly see
What I read in books
But not what people do.

I’ve heard the sounds of time
The joys and the tears
For so oh many years;
I can tell the difference
Between blessings and crimes.