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Vexations
Tell the boss how you really ******* feel
His job totally ****** ***** and he does as a boss
Blame him for you having no sales!
As he’s in charge and talks to the client
Who sends over new leads you call
Give me some good leads and you’ll get sales
Simple as that give me old **** leads
What do you expect me to get nothing?
Why I feel frustrated and *******!
Unlike the clicky bosses who click along
And most of the other reps with a sale each
Give me a sale and I’ll feel a bit better
If the right offer comes up see you later
E Sep 2022
19
i've never felt
so alive
experiencing the full range of human emotion

this is what it means to be human
what it feels to breathe without condition
and shackles to their needs
conservation of energy
preservation of self
outcomes fulfillment

residual ties out of desperate attempts at connection
burning those same bridges out of fear
i'm known
not understood
used as a tool from my own overextended hand
not understanding
people can't be used as distractions
finding the flaws in repeated dynamics
where do they **** up
but where do i contribute
is the better question
how am i the problem.
i am the problem
and now, how do i resolve this
time will offer it's lesson again
let me catch up
i'm still doing my homework
please professor life, give me a second.
life updates: skipped my first college semester, lost two-three relationships, gained a new relationship, lost my therapist to get a new one,  got a job and am now juggling school and work.
Leocardo Reis Sep 2021
At dawn,
I comforted myself
by saying
there is still time.

At twilight,
I know
it had not been so.

To seek refuge
in the time that is left
is folly;
better to have done
than to have
thought of doing.
Chad Young Feb 2021
Grassmannian scattering amplitudes.
Galaxies with momentum horizons.
Galaxies moving in different directions at different speeds.

Still haven't found the graviton.
Colliders.
Huge interferometers.

Any work here seems like a lot of teamwork in companies.
I'm a drop in the bucket, whose feeling is my enemy if I am to manage complexity.

So one part of me says "just do it, do the problems I have prepared to do".
But I feel I'm missing a level of management of the field, like I'm not getting the big picture.
It is said: from point to expanse to point and back again.
Am I looking for a shortcut?
Learning purifies, it reveals what is now impossible to see.

A lack of study?
I know all the fundamental theories of physics and elementary calculations.
I know of all the branches of math and where they lead.
All of my notes of formulas are unused.
It's good that I studied electronics to know what focusing on math and physics gets me after graduation.
What really stays with me is what electronics isn't, but also how basic it is.
This is what I now expect for this endeavor.
The less help I get in it, the longer it takes.
Muhammad, pbuh, said get half of your knowledge from others and half from yourself.
But it is hard to tell what is from me.
Is my work the only thing: He meaning only let help solve half my problems?

There is:
1. What I need to work on
2. What I want to work on
3. Gain a degree of simplicity
4. Understanding what work is not

Studies show that novices often pay attention to different elements in a problem than experts.
I gain more from being asked a question that is impossible to answer than solving a question for computation's sake.
How do I know why a plane tangent to a sphere can only intersect at one point?
I knew that before I did the problem, but I wasn't aware I was trying to disprove that!
Like trying to make black pigment out of only yellow and blue.
No, that's too simple.
It is like nothing I ever experienced!
I was unaware of the use of the elements.
It is one thing to read a theory, to copy an equation, but to go through problems makes me experience the elements in ways I never knew.
To know limitations I was blind to because I had never tried to connect them before.
That is why experts can zero in on a problem so fast, and why novices are snagged on basics.

This excursion into the expanse has ended with a knowledge of the love of math problems.
Self-study, but with four degrees.
Mystic Ink Plus Dec 2020
Today I consulted
Myself
And referred to you
You gazed me
Head to toe
Probably found nothing
Interesting
Then, referred me back

I put myself on
Mindset Therapy
And ensured to rest on time

"No need of follow-up"
"Heal by yourself"
Pretty harsh advice, that was
Genre: Clinical
Theme: Something out of nothing
Emily Mar 2020
I can feel it within
Growing bigger and bigger
Twisting and pulsing

It feeds off negativity
Little quirks that make me crazy
Laziness and lacking responsibility

It grows and grows
Festering inside
Until finally it boils over
Only to restart again
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