i miss you all the time
in between meal times
in the day
in the night
in my dreams
if we were not meant
to walk together to the end
i would rather we never met
because the pain is acute
and the loneliness is addictive

How do people keep on trying
As though their hearts aren't broken
With every rejection, each no?
We just can't control what'll happen
We wait for tides to ebb and flow
Knowing fully well we're only boats
Impatient pawns on a chess board
In a horrid storm that only grows.
Waiting listlessly for an end
Confiding in foes and secret friends
Now I'm entirely at a loss
Which of my coins will Fate toss?
Or will it even try something
Has it given up on me too?
Just as I've lost hope in myself
I know what's false, but what is true?

It's not your fault,
as I was the one.
I saw the roses growing in unexpected places,
I saw the walls burning down with expeditious intentions and no explanation
you'd think no one could here it happening,
yet I listened,
and i could hear his cries,
his oceans crashing into cliff sides.
I believed it.
And i did so, because when his oceans crashed into mine, it was a beauty god himself would have been jealous of.
Siren couldn't compete with the beauty that was our interactions, and they were flattered,
yet I have no matter.
Because her oceans,
found yours first
Yet I believed it when you said mine were bluer.

You can't save a loser
They have to save themselves.
No matter how you love them
You can’t breathe for someone else.
You can’t pay their emotional bills
With the love stored in your heart.
You can’t be with them 24/7
So it’s best for you to start
Waking to reality’s demands
And wash your hands
Of this self-destructive fantasy.
Soon, even they will understand.

And if they don’t see wisdom
In what you are trying to do
Let them go on and ruin their life
But it won’t be because of you.
Maybe you think it is too late
Because you spoiled them already,
So now they need your guiding hand
To keep their courses steady.

If you’re strong enough to realize
You’re not helping them a bit
You can gather enough love
And strength enough to quit
Babying someone who today
Is no longer just a little child.
Let them find their own rock bottom
At the risk of being totally wild.
It’s really the only thing to do.
So, if you are the wife, the friend;
Sister, father, brother or mother,
You will find you have the time
For you and the loser to recover.

In my entourage
people laugh
I got used to it.

In my center stage
I was the comedian
who never likes
his job.

In my closing remarks
their entertainment
was fulfilled.
I on the other hand
got drained
from my mistakes
turned to be pretty
funny,
never was that
my intention.

For so many years being active and virile
I served my nation and my love in style
Then I was like a full bottle of wine to taste
But now I am like an empty bottle to waste
Now people are not interested in my way
I am just bound to relax and not to just play
Now the bull has been condensed to cow
This is the difference between then and now
From a chain of love I am in chain of hatred
I am no more a living being but a human dead
I do not think some one will bury me as trend
But time has stamped me as dead to bend
I do realize my helplessness has no chance
So how my soul without body be in trance
I lost a world and fail to gain the other one
Being a loser I will not be able to win none

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow