I held your hand you gripped it hard
Wishing the pain would pass quietly
A tear fell and I wiped it slowly clear.

You were silent, mumbled thoughts
Worded in you eyes like a lighthouse
Every unspoken word was seen.

I stuck in the  knife one last time then silence.

Ramblers in the wilderness
We cant find what we need
Get a little restless from the searching
Get a little worn down in the swing
Like a bull chasing the matador
is a man left to his own schemes
Everbody needs someone beside 'em
shining like a lighthouse from the sea

                                             - NEEDTOBREATHE

I formally apologize for my constant visits with my own thoughts. I'm not finding what i need to find at the bottom of a bottle or on anyone's lips. My lungs aren't blowing out my venom and I don't know how to breathe in gentler things. But this isn't meant to be a reminder or an excuse;  this is meant to be the last attempt at simpler seas. The words that leave my mouth are hollow promises of the words crawling from my fingertips, so please don't hold my mouth accountable for my unreliability.

Many messes ago, i spun you into a metaphor. This past time i told myself that you and i were a ship, but i finally found the flaw in my logic

You were never the ship

I have been drifting around in the dark, and you've been the lighthouse guiding me home.

The keeper of illumination
Aye, the keeper of the light
Safety first, his fascination
Dusk to evening through the night.

Aye, the keeper of the light,
Every season, every day
Dusk to evening, through the night
He tends the beacon, shows the way.

Every season, every day
Climbs thirteen flights of thirteen stairs
He tends the beacon, shows the way
The Fresnel lantern he prepares.

Climbs thirteen flights of thirteen stairs
Skyward, toward the landing high
The Fresnel lantern he prepares
Lighthouse beacon must not die.

Skyward, toward the landing high
Strike the match, produce the spark
Lighthouse beacon must not die.
Guides ships safely through the dark.

Strike the match, produce the spark
Safety first, his fascination
Guides ships safely through the dark
The keeper of illumination.
Phil Lindsey 6/25/15

Two decades and still
You're the Lighthouse
On the shore of my heart

Decades may turn into centuries
And you will still be the same Lighthouse
Spreading your rays into the walls
Of my heart

Centuries may turn into eternity
And you will be the Lighthouse
That forever shines
Into the hearts of those
Who will remember our story

You are the Lighthouse
I am the sea
And this is our story*.