this is not a poem, it is simply the truth




I am sitting here looking pretty
I am sitting here no longer greedy  
I used to think that to love someone it meant that I needed to  remind them
remind them that I am still here and that I will always be here
looking back I can’t help it, I feel stupid
I watched too many movies, read too many books, wrote too many poems
Society put this idea of what love is in our heads and we run with it
to act obsessively
to be possessive
to be crazy in love
But why can’t we be sanely in love?
Why can't we give the person that we love space?
Why cant we meet each other in the middle?
I have a secret
the moment I let go, the moment I stopped reminding someone that my love is unconditional
I grew spirituality, mentality, emotionally
the universe treated me like a gift, a precious gift
it is sad to say but I felt like the moment that someone said they 'loved me'
they belonged to me
subconsciously I used to see them like an object, especially when I felt like I didn't deserve how they treated me
see my problem was that I was trying to find worth from someone else
I held on to people like a rope,
even after the break up
I realized that I will never be satisfy if I am not comfortable being open
but I couldn't be open
I was holding to a rope so tight that I needed both my hands, completely covering my heart
I broke the ropes
my life got better, this is not a poem this is a public announcement
No matter how much you love a person, no matter how much you gave them
that person does not belong to you
if they love you and if you love them
there will always be a middle
the middle is like nothing you could imagine
the middle is more about you
to be in the middle you need to sit pretty, you need to not be greedy
you need to put your legs up and enjoy yourself
you need to have a good time alone, and with new people
but most importantly you need to let go
letting go does not mean you love any less
because when two people are meant they are forever tied to each other
because love is strong
love unites people
and love heals
and sometimes even though we love, we need to not be together
and that is okay

thanks for the times that you spent with me
thanks for the smile that you never gave to anybody
i wish i could say what you needed to hear
cause you know i was always all ears
but things didn't go as planned
i wish i had taken your hand
and did all i could
i would, i should
but it's all over now
you're gone, to some far away town
somewhere i can't get to
worst part is i can't forget you
but i need to let you go
cause you of all people know
sometimes you just have to let it snow

i spent all day updating dating
profiles and drinking champagne -
sipping iced coffee on bright beaches
i daydreamed as the palm trees waved -
pillows of smoke and wide blue skies
i wondered what you're doing today -
who you talk too, and what they say
i thought i saw the future
i saw it coming for my soul
i ran as fast as i could
i didn't realize i was letting go

i forgive you.
i'm sending this letter to you through the energy wave lengths that will stay between us forever.
it took a lot of years for me to that i'll forgive you but i'm ready to close the chapter of my life where your name is still printed in.
the mountains i climbed for you to love me where never enough,
the nights i begged for you to not treat me like the gum under your shoe were not worth it.
one day i hope you make peace with your demons like i'm learning to now.
you will always have a piece of my heart,
and no matter how much sadness and anger rises in me thinking of the treatment you gave for years,
i will treat you with kindness and love.
you have no place in my life anymore and that's okay.
i hope one day you can find that happiness you were searching for.