I wholeheartedly wish I could be the best at something.
My inferiority complex
The nicest,
the funniest,
the prettiest,
My inferiority complex
the most spontaneous,
the most adventuress,
the most forgiving,
the most talented,
My inferiority complex
the best musician,
the best writer,
the one who makes people laugh the loudest,
My inferiority complex
But there is always going to be someone
better in my surroundings,
in my bubble.
My inferiority complex
It stems from a family I never really belong in
From friends I never really had,
Subjects i was never really good at
People i never really knew
My inferiority complex
How am I to compete with those,
Smarter than me
When grades “determine” intellect
My inferiority complex
How am I to compete with those
More beautiful than I
When the outside is all taken into account
My inferiority complex
I am so tired of feeling inferior.
My inferiority complex
Lonely, broken. Empty
Nothing more than shards of glass
A failure, A disappointment
My inferiority complex
consumes me
Suffocates me
My inferiority complex
The Jealousy,
It defines me
My inferiority complex
Why wasn’t I born to be like him,
Like her,
Like them

How do you compete with that
Correction
How do I compete with that  
She is a composition of demure flowers; scent of the wind and the sound of quiet ruffling of the leaves
An entire landscape of serenity and pretty
While I –
Am a wholly mess of broken up family and fallen silence as i make my presence
As if the light has been snuffed out and all that's left is the shadow of emptiness
And if you knew how musty the air smelled like —
Tell me again, how do I compete with that

We think so highly of them
And put em’ on pedestals.
Carrying them with us
like backpacks.
All our life.
pleading for help,
asking
“How does one get there?”
As if we don’t know,
They’re hanging on our shoulders.
Because we let them.

You are the only one I'll ever hate.
You are everything I don't want to be.
You are sins.

You are my inferiority complex.

she looks at his eyes while he stares at her thighs
and he's wondering if she's going to sleep with him tonight
the dress that hangs by her dainty physique is meant to impress
but all he pictures is what's underneath
their hearts beat giving values to their chests
of treasured boxes kept locked away from all of the rest
she wishes for solace and an assurance to not be pressed
he wishes to gain her trust and to take over, hoping for a nightly event of passionate ***
he lures her into a loophole of false intent
she smiles at his slipping mask but continues to reciprocate
they exchange words over drunk breaths
but she is too intoxicated so she forgets
her tenuous wrists are taken into his
she tries to refuse but eventually gives in
to forceful attainment and prohibited entry
she wonders if her racing heart will be heard through her thin exterior
she wonders if there are other words for "help"
and why men always have to be the superior
her fingers are helpless along with tight shut eyes
clothing sliding from svelte body parts, past unconscious skin
she senses heavy breathing, not hers, to keep herself wondering
unaware and completely susceptible
she falls asleep, passing out with her body against his

the sun will kiss her tender cheeks
with the absence of coffee drinks
she will be awake and lying next to nothing but empty sheets
she will remember looking into his eyes
hoping that he was the one to keep her safe from reoccurring lies
but he was nothing but a crooked thief
who robbed her of her entirety

n.j.

As I began school
I was a year behind
in age
in intelligence
in everything

but I was
determined
to make it
work

I refused
to let them
bring me down
and make me
feel like I was
less

now
nothing
can
stop
me

that
determination from
the beginning
has helped
me stay
ahead
of the
game

and brought me
here
where I am
today