Sometimes it's harder to forgive myself than others.

We don't have to know anyone else, just us again
You sigh, look away
I can see it clear as day
I'm sorry, time breaks and sun rays are all I dream of
I'm sorry again, I didn't mean it

I stand there all alone
Diamonds in our hands
Do-do-do, do-do-do

Funny how it seems like yesterday
When I was looking out of place
Daydreaming of cigarettes
It's my wife, and it's my life
I'm still here, have you seen her?

So much is going on while I'm
Standing in the pouring rain
There are places I'll remember
And these memories lose their meaning
When I remember I'll lose affection

I'm cursed you see
I know I'll often stop and think about them
Standing in the pouring rain
If I can't trust you, there's no answer
And I won't be able to trust myself
And I'm sorry for romanticising you
I just want to be friends with you again
And make myself feel very small and unhappy

Because I'm older now
And everything feels a lot emptier
And I'm still churning out sad poems and then
Pretending I've grown since then
Standing in the pouring rain

I wish I could talk to you and tell you how I am feeling because I know you’d understand. You always did.
And I know you’d help. The best you could.
And it was always enough for me.
But things are different now.
I know that.
So instead I will write you a message that I'll never send.

There was a canvas lying on the floor,
his canvas was lying on the floor.

There was a canvas lying on the floor,
his canvas was covered in red,
painted by his blades.

There was a canvas lying on the floor,
his canvas was covered in blue,
painted by his fists.

There was a canvas lying on the floor,
his canvas was ruined, and overused.

He needed to get a new one,
since he loved painting so much.

He always had a smile on while painting his canvases.

I’m sorry I’m to sad to love you the way u need to be loved okay.
And that every time you try with me, I seem to just push you away

I’m sorry that my hearts too broken to make you smile
And that you haven’t heard my laugh in a really long while.

I’m sorry I’m stubborn and that I cry way too much
And that being with me is looked down on a bunch

I’m sorry I can’t be skinny or even close to pretty
And that sometimes people describe me as being a little ditzy

I’m sorry I don’t accept the love you send to me
And that I make you feel like you keep me less free

I’m sorry I can’t show you how important you are
And that words have always been something that’s hard.

Im sorry I’m sorry for so many things
And all of the problems my mental health brings.