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halfheartedsoul Mar 2017
I procrastinate
And as deadlines approach
Anxiety buds and bubbles
And yet I sit staring at the question
Reading and rereading
Thinking 5 steps forward in its entirety
and scaring myself with reality
I tried clearing the haze from my gaze
And getting my head in the game
But then the heart starts pounding relentlessly
And I clutched at it, an excuse to sink into the comfortable darkness
Then I wondered why I'm living without really living
There was naught I didn't put off
And it wasn't as though work was put off for real fun
I put off life to sink into inactivity
I get out of days and weeks from bed with weakened legs and an aching back,
Friends no where in sight, life barely existent
Is living really necessary after all?
I questioned and floated in constructed pain and darkness
Such fortune for a kid to have a shelter above her head, well fed with nothing lacking yet why
Why why why
Why am I still in an endless loop
Why am I still here
Am I necessary after all
Of course not
But it is as though the brain has no power over the heart
I operate on id, ego rarely at work
And it's a devastating tale of the hopeless
One after another with naught but excuses
Joshua Sisler Mar 2017
Piercing sunlight shining through a window,
Ephemeral blades stabbing into me,
Pinning me in place.
That’s what she was.
Absolutely radiant, illuminating with her presence alone.
Rising right with the sun, morning coffee as white as her bed sheets.
Gleaming teeth exposed as she laughs, sweet and fleeting as cotton candy.
Floral sundresses and large hats a staple of hers, forever in a perpetual summer.
Mimosas sipped with a beachside breakfast, the only drink she’ll ever imbibe.
Spending her tropical jaunts seaside, buried in her Nicholas Sparks novel.
Pure, gorgeous, vibrant, carefree, glowing, flawless.
She’s daylight.

But I’m moonlight.
Beams twisted and reflected by the water in closed bays on lonely beaches.
In the 24-hour diners with a woman perpetually smoking a cigarette at the register,
a tweaker passed out in a booth, holding his partners hand.
Under the pervasive neon lights of dying bars,
bearing witness to the drunkards mourning love and liquor lost,
Through forlorn streets, under dimly sparkling lights,
bundled in beaten and weathered coats, just barely safe from the chill.
Drinking wine by the bottom shelf bottle to cloud future-bound thoughts,
feelings spilling out in ink or wine, impossible to tell through the stupor.

Maybe it is true that opposites attract,
maybe that’s the reason
I can’t get away from her.
But maybe it’s hopeless,
maybe I’m the moon,
doomed
to forever chasing the sun across the sky.
tc Mar 2017
there ain't nothing
you can teach me
about love that
i don't already know
it comes and it swirls
and it whooshes
and it goes.
there ain't nothing
about life that
makes me want
to live it more
i am here,
i have survived
i have broken down
gun shields, climbed
opportunity walls
but at the end of
the day, i sit back
i watch the sun
sometimes i am jealous
because it lives
for no one.
maybe there's some
things, you can teach
about heart break
and why dying has
become so synonymous
with it.
please try to teach me
love
and life
i need a better
perspective
i am losing
my sight.
Dead lover Mar 2017
Well
I accepted for the sake of your exams,
That i am a bad human,
A fake human,
One into emotional drama,
One who's life is fake..  Fake.. And fake..

Fake fake fake and fake...
Your lover did use this word so easily,
I still feel the cuts in me..

I accept what i am not for you Oh best friend,
I accepted the fakeness... And did put it to the end..
Am just so free,  for everybody...


I remember my words...
I won't ever talk to you,
Oh best friend...
I can't put into words how much it hurts,
Am sorry that i was so " fake"....
I never knew I was..
Don't Know why does she think so....


You are my support..
And look,  we are never going to talk to each other...
Well you have your support...
But what about mine?
I feel so Terrible about myself..
I feel like dying...

Oh best friend, am such a useless best friend,
Who's phone number is not even worth trying..

You have done bundles of favors for me,
But your girl has always left me crying...

Just one wish from you oh friend,
Kiss the forehead of my corpse,
The day i be dead...

And whisper what had been my fault in my ear...
Oh friend so dear....
Kendra Corner Mar 2017
I once had a hope

That would never become

A true wish of mine...



I once hoped

That I had the strength

To get back up

When I'm being pushed

when I am already down

On the ground

But I knew

That my hope

would never become

A true wish of mine



I once hoped

That I had the mental strength

For when I am sitting

On a peachy colored

Chair

I wouldn't break

The waterworks in my eyes

For people to label me

As weak

But I knew

That my hope

would never become

A true wish of mine



I once hoped

That my dear brother

Would come back

From that dark and

Wretched place

That humans call

Prison

So that the pang

In my chest

Would leave me

But I knew

That my hope

would never become

a true wish of mine
undetermined Mar 2017
I'm not sure where I'm going.
I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go.
I know where people want me to go,
But that's not where I want to go.
I don't know where I want to go
But it's not where they want me to.

I'm not sure why,
But I don't want to do much these days.
I've lost all motivation.
I need to finish school.
I want to drop out.
And I hate that about me.

I want out of this town.
This place is not my home.
I want to go home.
I want the four seasons.
I want to feel cold.
I hate it here.

I need to get a job
One that pays me enough to get by,
For now.
I need to save my money
Use only what I need to
Then, when I have enough,

I need to get out.
I need my own place.
Or maybe a place with a friend.
A place where
 I won't be hounded by my parents
To get my *** in gear.

I need the motivation
To do what needs to get done.
The best I have right now,
That would be,
The fact that it's too late
To get these things done.

I don't know where I am.
I don't want to do anything about it either.
I want to run away.
I need cash, and a job.
I need to move on from here.
I need a kick in the ***.

I seem to be lost.
aRyani Mar 2017
Behind all these beautiful things
Lies hopeless romantic feelings
And sweet nothings.
I thought you were different
And that you were sent
But you just caused me torment.
Fogged windows blinded my sight from the world. Sitting in a bus, I was overflowed with thoughts that's been haunting me from my past.

A girl can only wonder limitless, intensely and quietly... I go crazy thinking nothing ever really last.

I asked myself everyday, WHEN will I be happy
WHEN will I be complete
WHEN will I find someone who will love me... for me

Why not start a family?
at least I could have some sort of reason. To look forward to sunshine even on a cloudy day, to set sails and freely float away.

But WHEN will I discover peace?
is it that I have everything I want and nothing that I really need?

A confusing puzzle I may never solve. Maybe I should be alone, maybe I was brought here to be on my own.

...I don't know WHEN all the pain and disappointment will end, they say I'm too pretty to feel this sad, too intelligent and I should appreciate what I have, that one day everything will fall into place... Yet I have to pretend
They say just wait, day after day. Everything that is for you, will come to you
.... But WHEN?


S.B
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