all i wanted was a simple apology
if you loved me it wouldn't be that hard
but i guess you didn't
they told me not to fall to hard but i never listen for i thought was different.
but you were exactly what they said and to my existence your malignant
but yet somehow you still are a stimulant
you set gasoline to my fire and it heats up resembling our heated arguments that end up with one of us in pain
for you were never the solution you were never my rain to exhaust my flames
your a poison and it's addictive yet my soul still survives
it hurts so much but my heart yearns for you it chimes
chimes in a irregular beat; wishing for you to care but its like i'm never there
i always end up suffering the ramifications
your my main cause of my dreary tribulations
yet, i stay
yet, i still care
yet, i'm still blamed
yet, i cant stop loving you
Where did i ever go so wrong?

you made me guilty
for the things  I don't know

you made me liable
for such things in my absence


you even may not care
what might happen to me

in you i'm a torn
in which you really heated most

yet , you never understand
despite of this, I care for ~you...

even though it is so very hard
and expect nothing in return

i ask myself  quite sometimes
what would i get of heating you


when I burn and sick just because of you
you would even not buy me medicine


when I become burn and behalf~dead
you might not present in my burial


and when I lost myself  just because of you
you might not even care for me more

so, I ask myself for many times and days....
and wholeheartedly  learned it so.....

of heating  someone like you that heated me so
what would this all about  in my present be


of  doing the same things like you do
what would be the good I could get too

~now that I know the truth
peace be with you  

and sorry if you won't stop thinking  of me
and sorry if i'm not what you expected me ~ to be me just for your sake.

I'm in that mood
When I want a collar round my neck
Though I'll still be in control
Two bodies writhing, one bed.

I'm in that mood
When I shiver at my thoughts
And I prowl ever-restless
The house is freezing, I'm blazing hot.

I'm in that mood
When I'd beg for anything
And time is too slow
My eyes are open, I'm blind with need.

I'm in that mood
When shame is a foreign entity
And humiliation is impossible
Or perhaps exhilarating.

I'm in that mood
When I can't contain the desperation
And I'm far past coherent or sane
So very rushed yet patient.

I'm in that mood
Where I'd curse anyone who set me free
And my mind is an unending chant,
'Collar me, collar me.'