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Tj Apr 2019
August feels like a joke
Like a text you can't write
A call to your mom
Like rot in your stomach
It's that burning in your throat
In the bathroom on your hands and knees
Like lighter fluid on your clothes

Conversations with your head underwater
Like nothings sharp
Friends just out of reach
Laying right around the corner
Like they're playing hide and seek
Like they'll come out from their rooms
Like you just have to wait
Just a little bit longer
Like they didn't lose their son,
Like they didn't lose their daughter

You could pull the wheel and tip
Closing your eyes on the highway
In silence for the whole ride home
Like coming down from a bad trip
Like staying up for 48 hours
It's planning your escape
It's hoping you get hit

It feels like crying so hard you laugh
Like waiting all night to sleep
A timer ticking
Like you're a bomb
Like catching glimpses in stranger they'll never meet
Shea Mar 2019
The 5 stages of grief and loss are:
1. Denial and isolation;
2. Anger;
3. Bargaining;
4. Depression;
5. Acceptance.

I lay on you, and breathe in the smell
Of your hair, feel the small vibrations
Of your laugh resonating the soft felt pews.
I tell myself I will remember this forever,
So when I miss you, I can still feel you.
The mood grows serious,
The vibrations of your voice shrink down
To a whisper, and crumble
Like rocks beneath a hammer.
"When I die," you say,
Fleeing every so called good feeling felt
Away from this place.
"You're going to get bear,
But I can't tell you what you're getting yet."
She tells us.
Me.
Him.
The only ones here who know.
You told me yesterday, yes you did.
I smiled, I cried, I cussed at God,
I cried again, I bargained,
But I still did not accept.
I smiled and told you it would be okay.
But I think I know deep down inside
That you know deep inside
It might not be okay.
It came back. It's here, in this room,
Inside you.
And I keep making up scenarios where
Someone has asked me
"Would you do this thing if it meant she lived?"
And I always say yes no matter how
****** up the action may be.
Maybe this is the bargaining.
You're not dead yet, but ****
It feels like it.
It will be years.
I'm sure of it.
But I'm just so scared, babe.
I'm so scared.
No one so young should be labeled
With an experation date,
A summarization of how long their life
Will be.
No one.
CataclysticEvent Mar 2019
The act of grieving.
It’s unlike anything I’ve
Ever had to go through.
Survived through 17 years of
Mental torture at the hands of
A mother who should have loved me;
But alcoholism had her by the throat
          ****.
That never received any justice.
Physical abuse and mental abuse
For years by a man who should have
Cherished me but instead hated me.
12 hours of labor with no medication.
No relief of the spine crushing pain.
And yet the simple act of you dying.
             Of you leaving me behind,
                           In this world without you.
Has crushed and devastated me.
     Leaving me
                          annihilated and listless.
And without

My best friend, my cheerleader, my fan, my sounding board, my dad, my confidant, my partner in crime, my moral backbone, my courage, my strength, my forever compass, my mother figure, my only family.

I don’t know how to exist here.

The act of grieving,
Has left me tired and restless.
And I’m unsure if I’ll finish the act
Or the act will finish me.
   Exit stage…..
                                                        ­        Right.
Eryri Mar 2019
Some seize on death,
Just as they seized on a siblings' toy,
They want it for themselves.
No one else should possess it;
It must be about them
And the validating sympathy that it elicits.
    
But, ultimately, which is sadder?
The death itself?
Or...
The looting of grief?
John AD Mar 2019
Lungkot ng sistema , Pag-gising sa umaga tulala ang eksena
Nakasanayan na ang pagpatak ng tubig sa mata, Basang-basa na ang tela
Pinipilit ko kasing punasan ang sakit , pagkalumbay , dala ng kalungkutan
Alaala mo na di mawawala,lumipas man ang panahon dala dala ko ito sa libingan

Kahapon lang ngiti mo'y hindi maipaliwanag , yun na pala ang huli nating pagkikita
Di man lang ako nakapagmano at nakahalik sa iyong mga noo , hanggang mawalan na ng hininga
Ang Nais ko pa naman sana maabutan ka ng magiging apo mo sa hinaharap , upang makita mo sila
Pero huwag magaalala , ituturo ko naman lahat ng bagay na natutunan ko sayo lola

Paalam lola , Hindi ko man lang nasulit na ika'y makasama
Wala na tuloy magkwkwento sakin nung ako'y bata pa
Wala ding kasabay kumain kapag ako'y magisa na
Nakakalungkot pero kailangang tanggapin , ang buhay natin ay sakanya

Salamat , Alam kong maaliwalas na ang iyong pakiramdam
Nakatakas ka na kasi sa parisukat na mundo na kasuklam-suklam
Payapa na ang sistema , darating din kami dyan

Ang mga rosas ay nalanta , at may uusbong muli na maganda...
RIP Lola Rose
Sep 24 1955 - March 3 , 2019
Van Xuan Mar 2019
Tick..Tick..Tick..Tick..Tick
Time Repeatedly Remind
A Hollow Heartbreak

In this messy world
I only saw gray and black
A color of loss

Rain drops bit by bit
A silent way of grieving
Letting pain flow fast
Evan Stephens Mar 2019
Did she end it?
As I'm thinking,
a weight
of night
slips into me.

I don't know
where I stand,
exactly, but
at least
I don't leave

wanting to drink
this old grief
in gulps that
leave no room
for air,

like those
other times.
No one answers
my texts.
What did

those words mean?
The driver
talks on
about the night,
but has no idea

that I'm in
his backseat
eating the night
and dying.
Yes I know

I'm difficult,
is that what
happened?
Is that
what happened?
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