Forgive and forget
Is a lesson I have yet
To teach myself
Forgiving Is letting go of the anger
And the disappointment
I seldom hold onto
Each day
Wondering why it happened
Going back in time
Trying to figure out
Where I went wrong
Maybe it was back in October
When the season was changing
And so were you
Asking for space
Because I no longer had a place
Like the leaves
Falling from the trees
Or maybe it was in December
When the year was coming to an end
And you had found a secret friend
To spend a night with
Saying it was an accident
Or was it in January
When I had betrayed your trust
From some stupid act of lust
Trading a lifetime of happiness
For a single moment of weakness
I go back and forth
Trying to remember
To somehow
Put out the last of these forsaken embers
Making sense of these last months
I go crazy with self-hate
Realizing all my past mistakes
Disgusted at myself
For letting you down
For not being around
When you needed me most
Losing your beloved dog,
Who was your best friend.
Missing a birthday,
Missing your first day at a new job
Missing your parents seperation
Missing you.
Missing you
And thinking there was still hope
That I could change
And make this work
But to do that
I have to forgive
And forget
And not let
The past come back
To haunt me
To haunt you
To haunt us
To realize I can move on from this
And live a life
Like the ones you read
From happily ever afters’
With the act of a true loves kiss
And make it go away
I will forgive
And I will forget
And maybe itll be In February
When love is in the air
When chocolate candies and giant stuffed bears
Scream out to the world
That someone loves me enough
To spend money on mushy hallmark card
That anyone could write
Maybe itll be in April
On Aprils fools day
Cause only fools fall in love
And we both know
I’m the biggest fool of them all
Or maybe itll be in May
During Cinco de Mayo
The day it all went down
Realizing that 3 years ago
We promised to make it work
No matter what
Promising though thick and thin
that we would get past
our devilish sins
And I want to tell you now
Looking back
That forgiving and forgetting
Will be the best thing
I ever did
Because you are worth it
Because you are worth more
Than self hate and past mistakes
Worth more than a lifetime of regret
And I promise you
I will forgive and forget.

so many feelings flooded back all at once,
like a tsunami rolled high and crashed down low
sweeping out everything and anything...
just at the sound of her voice...
anger, happiness, frustration, relief...
most importantly even tho i wanted to cry and scream,
or maybe both actually...
we laughed instead.