will the universe ever spin just the right amount to align our stars in the same constellation?
i want to be the sunlight that burns u harder than the smoke down your throat and shines so bright it blinds your eyes.
i want to be the bed that you come to at night and the coffee you pour into your empty cup every morning.
you set the soul of my heart on fire with the most beautiful burn and i never mind the way that it hurts.
if i say my words will you sallow them down?
if my floor falls out from under me will you fall with me through the hole?
i don't know what to do and i don't know where to go.
how i feel when i look at you.
I miss you
Almost too much
I crave your skin
Entangled in lust.
With every caress
The essence of me
Still on your breath.
Release my body
But don't let go
You are my drug
I release control
You consume me
Calm the rhapsody
That is my soul
THE WAY IN WHICH INSECURITY MAKES A HOME OF MY BODY,
LEAVING HER PILES OF SELF-DOUBT AND ANXIETY LYING ON THE FLOOR.
AS I CONTINUE TO STUMBLE AWAY FROM MIRRORS,
TRYING TO FIND A REFLECTION SHE HAS NOT BECOME A PART OF,
SHE REVEALS TO ME,
THAT THE MIRROR DOES NOT HAVE TO BE CRACKED IN ORDER FOR ME TO LOOK BROKEN.
I ASK HER WHY SHE HAS NOT MOVED OUT ALREADY,
AND SHE SAYS IT IS NOT HER FAULT THAT I ALWAYS LEAVE THE DOORS OPEN.
I TELL HER OF HOW I MISPLACED THE KEYS IN THE HANDS OF PEOPLE WHO COULD NOT LOVE ALL THAT I AM.
AND WITHOUT HESITATION,
SHE ASKS ME WHY I HAVE NOT YET CHANGED THE LOCKS.
BUT YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING PEOPLE,
THAT NO ONE WILL LOVE THEM UNTIL THEY START LOVING THEMSELVES.
YOU HAVE TO STOP PLANTING THIS IDEA IN PEOPLES BRAINS THAT THEY ARE UNWORTHY OF LOVE,
JUST BECAUSE OF THEIR OWN STRUGGLE.
I miss you, and that's all that I can say,
I don't understand why I still feel this way,
it's been so long, it's been more than a year,
yet life without you's still my greatest fear.
But you are happy, so I'll leave you be,
you deserve to be happy, and there's no need for me.
everybody said time will heal but 9 months have gone by and
i still slit my wrists at 1 am because i need something to numb the pain of my heart.
i lay awake in bed at 3 am because I lost the best thing that's ever happened to me and i will never be good enough to get him back.
i don't wake up when I'm supposed to because being asleep is better than being awake.
i don't eat anymore because my stomach is tied in a knot and there's constantly a lump in the back of my throat.
i don't smile anymore because how could anyone when they are in this much pain.
i am broken and i don't know how to put the pieces back together, or if I will ever be able to.
so time doesn't ******* heal.